Totally bamboozled myself re food / healthy eating / losing weight

[Uggghhhh]

I’m early 40s. Steadily putting on weight (size14-16) and it’s making me miserable. I have a sweet tooth and a desk job which is obviously not a great combo.

Over the last few years I’ve read various books, joined/unjointed weight loss things, even got a health/fitness coach. And I’m now totally lost on how to feed myself as I’m tying myself in knots over not enough protein, too many carbs, too much sugar, low calorie, not enough fibre, wrong time of day, dairy is inflammatory, gluten is the devil, veggie/meat is ultra-processed and arrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!

Having a loose meal plan helps us food shop better and waste less, as well as having some more variety in our meals. We’re quite relaxed about it - eg we sort 5-7 dinners and then decide which one we fancy rather than being Monday must be X and Tuesday must be Y.

But sitting here looking up recipes I’ve realised how fucked up my thinking is. Breakfast burrito looks yummy but oooh there’s whale at in the wrap. Veggie chilli sounds great but only 7g of protein.

In all the weight loss approaches I’ve looked at, they all make sense. But I feel like I’ve totally overwhelmed myself and can’t get their “messages” out of my head. I know balance is the key, but when I read a 1400 calorie plan that has overnight oats got breakfast and egg avocado pita for lunch I’m catching myself thinking “well the dairy and oats and pita will inflame my gut biome”. I don’t even really know what biomes are. I hate science. I do feel bloated after pasta and bread. Love both. And butter. And want to be thinner (size 12 would do).

How do I reset? And get over my brainwashed view of what should be just normal sodding food?

It sounds like you would benefit from some guidance, OP.

You might wish to consider joining The Fast 800 Programme.

Fuck the concept of UPFs - that's demonising everything up to and including lactose free milk, baby formula and medical feeds for people with no ability to swallow

Most people use those things out of necessity. It's a good idea to cut unnecessary UPFs put of your diet.

Your OP sums things up perfectly, and totally resonates, exactly the same here.
Eating ultra healthily/10 veg/fruit a day, protein etc and still gaining.
Followed so many plans, all those you list and more, so many foods permanently excluded from my diet, and still gaining.
Exercising to the point of exhaustion, to a ridiculous level for my age sometimes, 20 mins into a 1 mile swim and my body just won’t release energy for the remaining 40 minutes….my body just has nothing to give.
Move more might work for some, it doesn’t for me.
Same with variations on 16/8 - except I have sometimes increased to 20/4….still nothing
It just feels very much like disordered eating now…

I've been on pretty much every diet known to humankind and ultimately it's about consistency - finding one thing and sticking to it.

The only thing that works for me is calorie counting but on a plan that also allows some 'free calories'. So I'm doing WW which is calorie controlled but I don't have to count things like salad and fruit. So I eat my points but if I'm hungry later I can still eat some grapes or strawberries or whatever. To me it feels like a sensible approach and the only reason it doesn't work is my lack of consistency, taking 'days off' or whatever.

I think diets are just as much about the mind struggle!

@Uggghhhh - what do you find limiting? If its the choice of food, id suggest looking at some e'ethnic' cuisines to inspire you, eg Middle Easter, Thai, Malaysian, Indian. Not to overcomplicate things, but to add some unusual ingredients and flavors.

I used to get bored with food prep, but now I treat it almost as a hobby, always on the lookout for new recipes. The Guardian has some good suggestions from people like Ottolenghi, Meera Sodha and others. I also treat cooking as relaxation time, listening to the radio and trying not to rush. Though I realise that this may be difficult if you have a family.

I can't afford a gym. I live in a tiny house with no space to do home YouTube workouts

@NorthWestThree- have you considered weight training with dumbbells, which doesn't need much space? Recently, when I had the builders in, I had to do my workouts in the bedroom, in a space the size of 2 yoga mats.

I highly recommend Caroline Girvan whose YouTube workouts are very professional and effective. Finding her was life changing for me, not just in terms of taking my strength and fitness to a level that I couldn't have imagined, but also by changing my entire outlook and approach to healthy living. I'm nearly 70 but fitter than in my 40s...

Start with EPIC Beginners and go from there. You won't regret it!

I completely understand @Uggghhhh! I sometimes feel I have so many different thoughts and approaches and diets swimming around in my head I feel dizzy.

And this thread and any other thread in weight loss on MN ends up the same. Everyone recommends a different approach.

I think I would say to you that you should maybe focus on the thing that is making you most unhappy. Which sounds like your weight. So concentrate on finding a method that will help you to lose a stone first. Just focus on that. Within that you will be eating more vegetables and fruit and drinking more water as all diets recommend that.

Add in a daily walk if possible.

Then re-assess. How do you feel? What other change could you make that wouldn’t feel too restrictive? Maybe reducing UPFs. Maybe doing some yoga.

It all has to be something you can maintain long term. Because any ‘diet’ that has a start and an end is doomed to make you regain if you go back to eating the way you did to gain in the first place. So making gradual changes towards a general healthy way of eating for the most part is what we should all be aiming for.

Clean minimally processed food will help the most, in the context of doing some progressive overload exercise, walking, and a small amount of cardio, and not snacking late at night.

Fuck the concept of UPFs - that's demonising everything up to and including lactose free milk, baby formula and medical feeds for people with no ability to swallow.

So because there are situations where it's necessary for some people to consume highly processed stuff for genuine healrh reasons, we should ignore or shut up about the fact that the predominance of highly processed foods in the human diet is causing or heavily contributing to health problems on a massive scale worldwide. Righto. That's a bit like saying that by recognising the dangers of illegal drug use, we are demonising patients who need morphine.

@Janieforever that's so true, I firmly believe that your head needs to be in the right place otherwise taking care of yourself just feels like a punishment

Ever tried to get decent pain relief? That's exactly what happens for thousands of women including those with disabilities every year.

That's a completely irrelevant comment to both the thread and in response to what the previous poster said

I'm not suggesting it's not an important issue but it has absolutely nothing to do with making healthy food choices and losing weight.

Start small. Find out if you have any food intolerances like dairy/gluten with a test kit like YorkTest if you don't have an actual gluten intolerance - no need to cut it out completely. If you do not have any issues with blood sugar, cholesterol, chronic inflammatory conditions, or autoimmune diseases - you can eat pretty much anything if you do it in moderation. Stress is also a major inflammation factor, take the stress out of eating :)

I think you can't go wrong by returning to the basics. Try eating 5-6 portions of veg every day and no more than 2-3 portions of fruit on top of that. So 8 portions a day - some at each meal.

Add fairly lean protein, most of it unprocessed - fish, poultry, eggs, red meat, pulses and beans, tofu, cheese, yoghurt. keep processed proteins like bacon, salamis, sausages etc to a minimum - once a week.

Add wholefood carbs, again most of them unprocessed: potatoes and sweet potatoes, brown rice, oats, with some wholemeal bread and noodles. Keep pasta and white rice to once a week each.

Keep alcohol consumption very low with a few days off a week. ideally stick to occasions not every day drinking, or go sober.

Keep all processed snacks and refined sugars for treats only. Cake on birthdays and at Christmas, crisps, fries, ice cream as occasional holiday treats not every day snacking.

If you do this and follow your preferences within the healthy range of foods, and keep portions sensible, you will lose weight. There's no need to be faddish if you are looking for long term eating habits.

Try intermittent fasting and 5:2

Yep, you've asked this question and now got a load more options to consider!!

My tuppence-worth is this - cut out any crap that you're eating (crisps, biscuits or whatever your downfall is) up the quantity of vegetables and water you eat/drink and get in as many steps as you can every day.

Good luck

Ever tried to get decent pain relief? That's exactly what happens for thousands of women including those with disabilities every year.

That's terrible, but I'm not sure how it negates my point. You wouldn't stop talking about or trying to reduce the ill-health and deaths caused by illegal drug use just because some people have to take morphine. Just as we shouldn't stop talking about or trying to encourage a reduction in UPF intake just because some people have to consume it for health reasons.

Weight Watchers worked for me.

I approach it as eating for nutrition and good habits- variety, vegetables first, then protein, then carbs. Don't be afraid of fat. Reduce sugar. Reduce UHPFs.
Drink water
Move

I don't calorie count, but shift portions to increase vegetables and use smaller plates to cut portion size. Ultimately any kind of weight loss will come from reducing consumption be it restricting or banning foods or reducing their portion.

It's fairly simple, but that's not the same as easy particularly when there's other family needs to consider and time constraints.

My way is not the only way. There is a lot of information coming out about individualised diets and the way we metabolise our food.
There are common themes coming up on this thread though.

Thank you!! Will look that up 😀