Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If your 16yo has a job....

35 replies

thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 12:01

What do you expect to pay for, and what do they pay for themselves?

DD started work a few weeks ago, and has been gleefully buying from Vinted, got a new haircut, and is meeting up with friends. All good, and I'm happy for her! She's starting college, and is planning on working over weekends and holidays.

We've agreed to split the cost of train travel so I cover her travel to college but she covers travel to work (although she could walk or cycle, she prefers to use the train over the dark winter months at least). And she's planning on buying her own lunches for college.

I'm obviously not washing my hands of buying the basics and supporting her in getting places, or doing hobbies, e.g., I'm still covering her monthly subs for Cadets.

But I wondered what other families do, when their teen is working and going to college. She's got a savings pot and is very sensible in general.

OP posts:
caerdydd12 · 29/08/2023 12:03

My mum bought my basics still, a couple of trips to Primark every year for leggings etc but anything branded was up to me to pay for. She still bought deodorant, soap, toothpaste and the like but I bought my own perfume and anything else I fancied or stick it on a Christmas list. Similar to you I was given the money for transport to college but I paid for any other transport myself, along with spends when I was out, friend's birthday presents, gig tickets etc.

Original poster
thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 12:04

Interesting, thanks. Were you happy with that setup?

OP posts:
Rollingdownland · 29/08/2023 12:04

Mine has a part-time job in a pub and is starting 6th form so I'm still paying for everything and he uses the wages for Depop and chicken burgers.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Icequeen01 · 29/08/2023 12:08

When DS was16 and got his first part-time job whilst in 6th form nothing changed really. He didn't earn that much to be honest so it was just a little extra money for him and we still paid for everything. I guess it depends on how much they are earning.

Original poster
thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 12:15

Yes, that's a good point. At the moment she's earning about £100 a week, but it'll drop to 50-ish when she's in college. She only needs so many clothes and earrings...right? 😄

OP posts:
Sinead4ever · 29/08/2023 12:49

17 yo has has a job for a year , We pay for phone, train ticket, and some money towards basic clothes/lunches - he is saving some of his earnings ttowards uni now - but a lot has gone on games, energy drinks and snacks

ilovemydogmore · 29/08/2023 12:54

Around her age is when socialising ramps up and gets more expensive, so I'd carry on as you are if you can afford to. Buying own lunches for college seems like plenty contribution if she's only going to earn 50 a week, that's something that's usually paid for by parents.

redskytonights · 29/08/2023 12:59

She gets the same allowance she did before starting the job. The rationale for this is that I don't want her to feel she has to keep working if it starts impacting on her studies.

The allowance pays for phone, socialising, presents and any extra stuff she fancies buying. We cover everything else.

She is now spending a bit more on socialising and clothes (non essential), but most of the money is being saved towards a post A Level trip.

If finances were tight, we would probably make a different call, but are fortunate not to have to do this.

Devon06 · 29/08/2023 13:01

My 17 year old works weekends. She contributes £50 to me a month to cover her phone. Usually drop her to work or she gets a lift so no cost. I pay for her food, other stuff and if we are out together I pay. She generally buys her own clothes and is now paying for her own driving lessons. I paid for the first 20!

Icequeen01 · 29/08/2023 13:01

Ok so DS did not earn as much as your DD (worked for WH Smith for 2 years who pay appallingly). I think if he had been earning that much I would probably have said he had to start paying for his own phone or something and the rest I would have let him spend as he wanted.

It's hard when you watch them spending money on stuff they don't really need but I took the view that in a couple of years he would be at Uni and he would really have to start to budget so we gave him a bit of slack until then.

However, having said all the above I know I am a soft touch. DS is now 23, finished Uni and is living at home and has a full time job and we only ask for £100 housekeeping from him so I may well have Mug written on my forehead!

Bookchildtable · 29/08/2023 13:01

Mine had to pay for transport to work, anything extra they wanted above and beyond what I already payed for. They saved up to pay for driving lessons and then a car aged 18 so I was happy to continue paying for everything else. I'm on disability benefits so not much money but I've agreed to pay for my dc as much as I can while in full time education.

CebelloRojo · 29/08/2023 13:05

We buy everything DD needs, she buys the things she wants
eg we pay for transport to college, lunch, everyday clothes and shoes. She buys stupidly expensive trainers, meals out at Nando’s with friends, etc

Once she leaves college and works full time then she’ll pick up transport and lunch costs and all clothing costs.

warmmfeet · 29/08/2023 13:12

When I was 16 and at college I had a job working 1.5 days a week. my mum asked me to pay rent which was about half my wages, she then covered lunch money and essential toiletries and gave me a monthly clothes allowance. I walked to college and my job. Spent my money on make up, nights out, CDs etc.
I have no idea if this was fair. I felt like giving her half my wages was a lot but I get she was trying to teach me budgeting etc.

Original poster
thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 13:20

Re: the lunch thing, we've been doing packed lunches but she prefers to buy her own food. So there would be enough food for her to make a sandwich etc, but the cost of buying a meal deal every day is beyond the household budget. Something to discuss further with her, because maybe she could supplement a packed lunch with a cake and coffee or something rather than feeling responsible for a full lunch every day.

OP posts:
Original poster
thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 13:21

@warmmfeet that does seem stricter than what I'm leaning towards. Paying even a nominal rent at 16 feels harsh.

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfSleep · 29/08/2023 13:24

I worked weekends from 14 and while in full time education my parents paid for everything they did before. Anything I earned was for me to spend how I liked.

Comefromaway · 29/08/2023 13:34

When my two were at college I paid for travel to and from college, a small set amount per day for lunches (packed lunch option always available), existing extra curriculars (piano lessons, dance lessons etc), books and stationery for college, basic phone contract basic toiletries and shoes/clothes (Sports Direct/supermarket prices, not designer.) Driving lessons were given as a birthday present (grandparents contributed).

They paid for socialising, all other travel costs, choosing to eat Macdonalds/Dominoes instead of college lunch (ds), expensive Rituals shower gel, make-up (dd), & any more expensive clothes/above the basic number of outfits.

CurlewKate · 29/08/2023 13:36

It depends what you can afford. I let my kids have all their earnings for themselves and continued with the "allowance" arrangement that started when they were 14. But I could afford to do that. If I couldn't, I would have expected them to contribute to the household.

dahliadazed · 29/08/2023 13:37

My DDs bought clothes and any expensive toiletries they wanted. They paid for their own social lives that they had with friends but if we were going out as a family we paid.
I paid for travel to sixth form and they took lunches from home but could buy anything extra with their own money.

It worked very well. Both my DDs are good at saving and budgeting. DD2 is at university now, she still has her old job when she comes home in the holidays. We support her by paying rent and bills but she covers the rest with her loan (only entitled to minimum amount) and her holiday wages.
DD1 has a full time job and pays a nominal rent of £100 pcm.

RedHelenB · 29/08/2023 14:02

Driving lessons and treats and socialising. I took them to work as it wasn't on a bus route and they worked a long shift They saved some too.

RantyAnty · 29/08/2023 14:07

She's not earning that much. Id still pay for the majority.

Women have a lot more expenses than men.

Monstermunchy · 29/08/2023 14:08

My 16 year old doesn't have a job yet, but when my other DS was 17/18 (in sixth form) and had job, we didn't give him 'pocket money' any more (he didn't get much off us anyway and it only went on socialising - we still bought most of his clothes and paid for lunches etc) but we had an expectation that he would not just fritter everything he earned and would save some too. He was happy with that arrangement and I like to think it's got him into a good habit and he's good at budgeting.

Now he's at uni and works in the holidays, he spends half and saves half (he only works a couple of shifts a week so doesn't earn a fortune) - he was able to pay for his own holiday with his friends, and now has enough for gigs etc when he's living on his meagre student finance!

UsingChangeofName · 29/08/2023 14:17

I still paid for the things I would have paid for anyway. If they chose to work, then that was additional money that they could then spend of save as they wanted.

So, we paid for subs for things they belonged to, bus pass (needed to get to school but could also be used at any other time), clothes generally needed, and the minimal pocket money we gave them
They paid for driving lessons (once 17, but saving towards, at 16), going out / meeting friends / gigs, any not needed clothes (if they wanted, mine generally weren't bothered), make up if they wanted, etc etc.

RenegadeKeeblerElf · 29/08/2023 14:18

My daughter is 15 and has a job, she earns about £30 per week. She hates spending money so is building up quite a decent bank balance, especially as she still gets pocket money on top. We're playing it a bit by ear in terms of who pays for what, in particular as I want to make it fair between her and her sister. In the main, like someone up thread said, I pay for needs and she pays for wants, but if I'm treating her sister I will treat her too. A good example is that recently she wanted to go to a theme park with her friend and she asked me whether she needed to pay for herself or if I would. I decided that as her sister was also going with a friend I would pay for them both but if it had only been the older one she would have paid for herself.

Original poster
thecoffeewasthething · 29/08/2023 14:26

This is helpful, thanks. I like the needs vs wants concept, and family treats vs singular expenses. I think that's a fair way to handle it until she's older.

OP posts: