If your 16yo has a job....

[thecoffeewasthething]

What do you expect to pay for, and what do they pay for themselves?

DD started work a few weeks ago, and has been gleefully buying from Vinted, got a new haircut, and is meeting up with friends. All good, and I'm happy for her! She's starting college, and is planning on working over weekends and holidays.

We've agreed to split the cost of train travel so I cover her travel to college but she covers travel to work (although she could walk or cycle, she prefers to use the train over the dark winter months at least). And she's planning on buying her own lunches for college.

I'm obviously not washing my hands of buying the basics and supporting her in getting places, or doing hobbies, e.g., I'm still covering her monthly subs for Cadets.

But I wondered what other families do, when their teen is working and going to college. She's got a savings pot and is very sensible in general.

My DD is 17 but started her waitressing job when she was 15.

I buy the clothes that she needs, she buys the ones that she wants.

I pay for her phone and essential travel (eg to school). She usually takes packed lunch to school, but I pay for a hot lunch if she wants one (eg if she has a sports club after school).

She pays for socialising, eg meals out with friends, cinema, coffee, bus or train fare to meet friends, concerts.

I do still give her an allowance as I did for her brothers until they went to university. I don't feel I should penalise her for working by taking that away.

Our DC has the same allowance for clothing/ travel etc that they had before getting a job.

I am trying to get them to understand how much things cost though- we looked recently at the cost of renting a room in a shared house in London; then worked out how many hours that would be working in their P/T job- quite eye opening!

If I was able I’d still provide for mine as I always have done until they are out of education. Any money they earn would be for them to choose how they spend.

Unless your mum was a single parent too and she stated she was struggling I think this is massively a mean thing to do.
College students won't earn that much at 16, you also don't want to take sandwiches people eat out or at least me and my friends did I would of felt so embarrassed sitting there with a sarny!

Most people will get child benefit and perhaps money for their child whilst studying whilst I agree with budgeting I wouldn't expect my DS to pay half of his wage to me or contribute to rent at such a young age.

Mine had a part time job in a supermarket and does 13 hours a week and brings home £550.

I buy his contact lenses, all toiletries, all clothes and socks and pants and of course all food and travel to college

I now expect him to pick up the cost of his gym membership, any clothes over and above what I'm prepared to pay, (for example, I spend up to £100 on his winter coat each year. He's eyeing up a Ralph Lauren one at £270. That's absolutely fine but he has to make up the difference. Same with shoes - I'm happy to go to £100 for a pair of trainers once or twice a year - he can pay on top of that if he wants £££ ones)

He also now has to pay for his treat type food. He's fond of pizza, McDonald's, Chinese takeaway etc. He now pays for this unless I specifically offer.

Oh and all the football tops/ gaming bits / purchases on Vinted .. he now pays for all that

It's saved me a fortune 😀

When I was 16 12 years ago 😂🤦🏽‍♀️ I got my first ever job at a shop . £6.10 an hour and basically I took over buying my own clothes and getting myself to work plus anything else essentially I’d buy apart from the basics for the house anything I wanted I’d buy myself and wouldn’t ask my mum anymore. I didn’t pay rent etc. i got myself to work but she’d pick me up to come home if I was finishing late.

When I was 16 I had two jobs alongside college, one was on the weekends and holidays and the other was in the evenings. I paid for everything; all toiletries, tampons & pads, make up, all clothes, any food other than the food at home (unless I wanted something special for home like snacks and stuff), all travel expenses. In fact the only things I didn't pay for were bills and basic weekly meals.
I would say you're being pretty reasonable to you dd.

My DS16 works in a pub and has done for a year.

He pays for his socialising and fancy clothes and food with mates.
He starts college next week and I will now give him his child benefit which will cover his travel and food and I will top it up if necessary.
I will continue to pay for his phone and day to day clothing.
When he leaves college the expectation is that he will have to pay a nominal amount for keep and will pick up his phone contract etc.

I pay for his phone contract (sim only, £6.50), bus to sixth form, basic clothes/shoes, toiletries, insurance on my car for driving practice (he turned 17 last month) and a small top up on his lunch card (£10 a month as I expect him to take packed lunches) for occasional use.
He pays for travel for leisure, driving lessons (he saved 1/3 of his pay for this since he started work last year), food when he's out, anything he wants really rather than needs. He earns between £200-300 a month.

DD is 15.
We do anything she needs, I buy. Anything she wants, she buys.
So if she needs trainers I'll buy bog standard ones but if she wants branded ones, she can pay the difference.