Water safety - family member with pond

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Hi, my sister and her partner have just bought a lovely new house with a garden pond. Pond is completely unsecured. They don’t have children so don’t have any intention of securing the pond however I have a 10 month old who will soon be moving.

im already nervous about the pond and plan to of course watch my child closely if we ever visit but also human nature is that if we are there and it’s a big group of people (often happens as they hosted alot of gatherings and bbq etc in their old house) that myself or DH might get distracted.

any tips for keeping child safe or what you would do in this situation? I was wondering if I should buy those child rein things For when we visit and literally tie the child to me.

they can’t have kids and are super excited about cultivating the pond and enjoying it as a feature for their guests so I know they wouldn’t fill it in or put A big security mesh over it for child safety.

Do you never go to the beach or pool or walking near rivers etc. Its no different. You stay alert. You always make sure one of you has eyes on all the time. Honestly I don't see it as a huge deal. As others have said there are many times when you have to be vigilant as a parent.

My in-laws had a major water hazard in their garden. They also liked to host big parties/bbqs.

This meant that we could never get distracted - ever.

Actually correction, my husband got distracted but I never did. It meant that the party was pretty shit for me, constantly chasing round after a toddler but that was preferable to them drowning, which they definitely would have done!

^^ This. A pond is only one of many hazards for a toddler at family gatherings. Especially in a normally child-free setting where they won't have done basic child-proofing.

My parents had a pond which they secured when my sister and kids were living with us for a while during extended house move.
The day they were leaving we took the cover off and the youngest promptly fell in minutes afterwards. Thankfully when people were around to haul him out, but never underestimate the attraction and danger to a toddler.

You sound like you are doing the right thing - 100 per cent vigilance and doing shifts, so one person is watching all the time (not everyone, yet no-one).

For water safety in general, teach your toddler to roll over and float on their back (sign up for a survival swim course) and get them into swimming lessons as soon as they are able. Keep up the swimming lessons until they are very confident, swimming lengths with ease.

How big is the garden/house? Could you take a play pen for little one to secure them instead of securing the pond? Get them to check their house insurance a lot now stipulate it has to be covered by a net sadly.

I think safety measures can lull people into a false sense of security tbh. With children and water the only safe thing is constant supervision. We live in Aus where there are stringent requirements for pool fencing etc. and still kids die every year because they have been left unsupervised. Take shifts when you visit to make sure your child is never left alone near the water. If you find that too stressful then meet elsewhere.

There is a difference between supervising toddlers and crawling babies closely and having them within arm's reach at all times.

When my older DC was younger and we went anywhere with heights/a steep drop/unfenced water, I had them within arm's reach at all times. Not just "closely supervised". A closely supervised child can still slip out of your vision, for instance if someone comes between you or talks to you and your attention is on them for a moment. In these situations, my attention was (and is, now DC2 is on the move) completely on my child and I would ignore any attempts to speak to me unless I was actually physically holding my DC. I wouldn't have bothered trying to socialise in situations like this, as socialising is incompatible with the kind of close attention tiny children require when they're swimming, near water or trying to scale a tall climbing-frame before they really have an appreciation of the dangers of heights.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise - this is the level of vigilance you need to show if your crawling baby or toddler is around an unfenced pond. It takes less than a minute for a child to drown and could happen in the time it takes for your sister to ask you if you would like a glass of wine or Aunty Doris to tell you about her latest holiday. Unless you have your child actually sitting on your lap or being held by you, you can't relax for a second. When I go swimming with both my children, I am either holding both of them or sitting on the side of the pool with the baby watching the older one like a hawk, ready to raise the alarm the second something goes wrong. I much prefer swimming when we have one adult per child.

It is different in places without such obvious hazards. For instance, we were at a friend's party in a large enclosed garden last week, and I could let DC2 crawl about freely on the grass, and didn't really have to worry about DC1. I always had the baby in view and had an idea of where the 5yo was so was 'closely supervising' and ready to intervene in dangerous situations (baby goes towards stinging nettles, older kids play too close to baby). But I could still have a chat with other guests and grab some food without the baby being in danger.

Water is different. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Drowning is the main cause of death in under 5s and your sister having that pond in her garden significantly increases the risk to your DC if they're going to be around it often. It's important to recognise this to avoid complacency. Treat it as you would an unguarded fire pit or similar hazard.

And shifts only work if you trust the person you're doing them with to be as vigilant as you.

How you describe being is how I feel I will be. And it worries me if I did slip up the consequences are huge!!!

another good idea from a poster about bringing a playpen. Even to trap DC in for a few mins if someone wants to talk to me!

You're right, OP. There are lots of hazards, but you need to weight consequences. The consequences of not paying attention around water are a lot worse than the consequences of not paying attention around nettles, thorny plants or garden furniture. And you can't just move water out of reach, like you can sharp or dangerous objects.

If you want to socialise there, take a playpen or keep your baby strapped into a high chair or buggy.

Harness and reins. If the child is in a buggy or high chair whatever, clip them in. And if they're not, attach them to you by the reins, looping the reins around your leg if needs be. I go cold when I see people out with their toddlers roaming loose. No matter how vigilant you are, there will always be a moment when your attention is not fully on the kid, and it only takes a moment for them to dart into danger. Heck, our friends kid fell in their pond whilst we were actually watching her, she just stepped backwards and splash! Of course she was hooked out straight away and no harm done, but they fenced that pond off pretty quickly afterwards.

When you say ‘out’ with the toddlers roaming loose where do you mean? I don’t tether mine to me in the park or on the beach or walking along in a pedestrianised area for example. They should be given some relative independence and freedom when it’s been risk assessed that it’s ok to do so. They’ll never learn anything otherwise.

As well as advice above, you can also get a pop up travel playpen that you can bring with you on visits and have in the garden so that you can relax a little bit x

You're right to be alert but don't panic. Water is everywhere & you just need a plan. Although a fence or mesh top won't reduce the vigilance you need. I've watched toddlers conquer our highly regulated pool fences or get under barriers with a bit of ingenuity.

So just be vigilant. Ensure you never assume the other is watching or they're safe because they are inside as doors open. Kids are brilliant escape artists.

If they’re the type to play nicely in a playpen, I’d get a pop up one t least for times you need the loo or to go get food. Otherwise I’d keep on reins. Saying ‘don’t get distracted’ is all well and good, but I don’t think it’s realistic.

We had a pond when I had my DD, it was never a problem. You just need to be incredibly vigilant, as you always should be with a young child.

Small children drown in ponds/pools in neighbouring gardens. Every year. So to have an unfenced pond is irresponsible.

We have a steam which runs the whole length of the garden. We look after grandaughter once a week and have done since she was 12 months, she’s nearly 3 now.

Several things

1 never ever let her out in the garden on her own, she’s been taught from very early on that she can only go outside if an adult is with her
2 keep doors to garden locked.
3 we do play in the stream in the summer but again keep reinforcing safety, that she can only do this with an adult.

1. She’s had swimming lesson since 6 months.
2. Never take your eye off her when she’s in the garden.

Don't be distracted and teach them to swim early on.

@Seashellies it's not OPs house, it's a family members home.

My response was to the poster who has 2 small children and a pond with zero fencing or netting etc- hence hope they don't let them outside in the garden ever.

Out alone in the garden that meant to say.

We have multiple streams crossing our property - no, my child was never allowed in the garden without supervision. Ever. When she was very small, we locked all the doors from the inside so she couldn't get out without us.

However, as long as you're watching them constantly, the danger is minimal imo. Sure, toddlers can run fast, but not as fast as most adults.