Water safety - family member with pond

[SOSWhen]

Hi, my sister and her partner have just bought a lovely new house with a garden pond. Pond is completely unsecured. They don’t have children so don’t have any intention of securing the pond however I have a 10 month old who will soon be moving.

im already nervous about the pond and plan to of course watch my child closely if we ever visit but also human nature is that if we are there and it’s a big group of people (often happens as they hosted alot of gatherings and bbq etc in their old house) that myself or DH might get distracted.

any tips for keeping child safe or what you would do in this situation? I was wondering if I should buy those child rein things For when we visit and literally tie the child to me.

they can’t have kids and are super excited about cultivating the pond and enjoying it as a feature for their guests so I know they wouldn’t fill it in or put A big security mesh over it for child safety.

You could ask if you could buy some electric fence stakes and net (you don’t have to electrify it) and set it up when you visit.
My two are growing up in a small holding and we have many dangerous things around but water and moving vehicles are the most concern. I have even filled puddle areas in.

''@WandaWonder · Today 06:22
People live in houses with rivers, lakes and by the beach with young children, children can drown in baths and buckets so of course care and attention needs to happen but there is no need not to visit and to get hysterical about it (not aiming that at the op)''

This.

I was raised in the countryside. We had a pond in the garden. We went to the beach all the time as kids and to the river.

I don't remember parents getting that hysterical about everything...and none of us kids came to any harm.

Teach your kids to swim early and keep an eye on them (it is your job after all) but don't expect the entire world to revolve around you...

You are not going to be able to secure every inch of the environment you and your kids find yourself in on a daily basis.

Where does it stop? do you expect cars to stop running (because your kid could get close to a road)? people to stop having dogs and other animals (in case they come across your kid)? shops to remove everything a child could get hold of? restaurants to stop serving hot food because your kid could burn themselves?

OMG cautious carol, calm down!

How big is the pond? If it's fairly small, I wonder if you could get a couple of those playpens that are like a set of joined up plastic panels and ask for it to be put round the pond when there's a big family gathering? Obviously this isn't a substitute for watching your child!

Just be vigilant over the pond! There are dangers everywhere, we don’t raise our children in a padded cell thank god. It’ll be good to drum in water safety early on, which is a positive.

There are lots of times as a parent where you can’t be distracted — in the airport, near a busy road, near a body of water of any kind. It’s usually only a few hours at a time and most of us manage it without too much trouble, then go home to our child-safe houses and relax.

^^ this. You simply don’t let yourself be distracted; you have to have your child close by at all times.

What about little hands touching the bbq? The bottles of alcohol left on tables? The chemicals under the sink? A knife they've managed to grab off the chopping board? Slug pellets on the garden...? Proudly unlatching the gate for the first time and running onto a road?

there are dangers all around for a toddler and you really do have to be watching them most of the time (I have three kids and ADHD and I really know it's hard but yeah the alternative is too terrible to think about).

I wouldn't worry about a pond excessively because the other dangers are all there too!

The peak ages for pond fatalities are 1 and 2 so it’s not forever that you have to be vigilant. Teach the child to swim when it’s 3. Also find out how deep the pond is- it might not be such a hazard once your little one is 4 or 5 and can stand up in it.

Its quite a change but once your baby is moving you will learn constant vigilance! Even at home.

It’s a pond?! You are being massively precious. My in-laws have a lake in their garden. Just supervise your kid

You just need to watch your child. There's no 'off you trot and play while mummy and daddy have a cocktail' with little ones when they are mobile. And you can't expect other people to be as vigilant as you - it's your job. Even at home, which you will have made secure, a really little one isn't going to be merrily stomping around wrecking the place in the livingroom whilst you cheerfully read the paper in the kitchen. They really need watching. (Anyone who has popped to get a glass of water and returned seconds later to discover a toddler has got hold of a pen and is gleefully drawing on the wall or your sofa will tell you!). You need eyes in the back of your head all the time - your favourite sound may become the click of a harness closing around a child in a high chair or car seat - at least you know they are safe!

I mean this is a bit ott. There are ponds and bodies of water everywhere. We all grew up with ponds in the garden, one large enough for a boat. All three of us fine! I literally can't remember it ever being a bit deal for us or the many friends we had over.

When I take DS there I just watch him like a hawk. But that is toddler life!

Lol my five yr old drew a stick man on the back of a cream easy chair in blue felt tip pen . There it stayed until we got rid of the suite .

You supervise your child at all times just as if you were in a city centre, visiting an attraction or walking by the side of a motorway.

Agreed. At someone else’s house it’s standard for one parent to be 100% focused on supervising the child- you can do it as a tag team if you have a clear handover. Here you know there’s something to look out for but to be honest you need to take this approach with small children in other people’s homes anyway, as there will almost certainly be equally dangerous things you don’t know about (eg my parents keep nail scissors and packets of paracetamol in low cupboards, tools ditto, have a dog, no stair gates or socket covers). The world isn’t baby proof.

So I wouldn’t worry too much about the pond but that’s because it’s just another hazard in a hazardous world. Supervise your child- it’s not forever.

I took my toddler swimming on Sunday. Smaller teaching pool and huge big Olympic size next to it, which wasn’t open to the public. As we were getting out I had him by the hand as we went up the steps to get changed. In a split second he’d let go and bolted at speed towards the big pool. How he made it so far without slipping over I don’t know. I didn’t immediately give chase because it makes him run away even faster like it’s a game but I had to shout at him very loudly to stop which he thankfully did about a meter away from the edge. The lifeguard had barely had time to react. I had no idea he was going to do that, he has never shown any inclination before or interest in the other pool so toddlers can be completely unpredictable EVEN when you are 100% focused on them with no other distractions (ie I wasn’t on my phone or holding a drink or talking to anyone) It absolutely doesn’t mean we won’t go to the swimming pool again, it means I was reminded that you can never let your guard down for a single second, they have no sense of danger and mine happens to be very nippy on his feet.

You don’t have a 5 min distraction, or any distraction, when you’re there. Make sure you are present the whole time.

Water babies teaches water safety from lesson 1 - holding on to the edge of the pool and to float on their backs. Thoroughly recommend as it gives a bit of reassurance if anything happens. Obviously constant vigilance is needed at that age.

I think you might be worrying more than you need to honestly. Yes it's a danger to them but so is a hot BBQ, a small stone they try and eat, berries they find on a bush etc. Then there's all the things they are a danger to e.g. people's nice ornaments, things they think they could draw on etc. You just get used to constant watching when they are moving but little and out the house. Parties and visits definitely become more hard work and less enjoyable for a bit in my experience. The pond is such an obvious hazard that even non parents will be aware and grab your baby if it goes close (not that I am saying don't watch them - but just to give you comfort of an extra security blanket).

Don't get pissed at a garden party, then?

We have a system your m, my m (m is child's name) you have to say it aloud and the other person responds so you each know who is responsible.

shouldnt they have a mesh on anyway for other reasons?

In terms of water safety here’s some things you can do.

1. when you visit, take baby to the pond and let them explore with you safely. Remove the novelty

2. swimming lessons. I did it with my eldest from 3 months and one of the things they taught them was holding on and turning and up if they fall in. It will also help your confidence with them by water.

If they plan to have fish in the pond they will soon learn it needs some sort of mesh to stop birds and otters eating all the fish. Until then, just stay with your child at all times when visiting.

Usually to stop birds and other animals from stealing the fish! It won't usually support the weight of a person though.

OP you'll just have to make sure either you or DH are keeping an eye, if it becomes challenging then someone sit indoors with him (presumably this is possible and can close the door to the garden or whatever). If you want a relaxed family gathering then I'd go alone now and then.

Verbally pass on the responsibility when you switch who is looking after Ds. “Hey, DH- Your turn watching him”. Don’t just assume oh they have him now.

Reins are useful for moments when you do think you could be distracted. We use them on my Ds when we visit his dads work place which has various potential dangers.

Teach you child early to stay away from the water when you’re not there. And to swim. But of course don’t rely on that. Kids will always be curious or test boundaries.

Ultimately, just have one of you on full full alert at all times.