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Original poster

Has anyone on here phased their child into primary school?

39 replies

Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:27

My 4 yo starts reception in September and I've toyed with maybe phasing him in until he's 5. I know school can't fine you until after they turn 5 and I just feel it might benefit him to break up a long 5 days with maybe a day off every other week or something along those lines.

I was thinking of seeing how he does to start with and making a plan from there.

He's always been a very clingy baby & child and is very attached to me and can get very overwhelmed.

Has anyone else done this and was it beneficial? Was the school accommodating?

OP posts:
00100001 · 28/08/2023 19:30

A day off every other week??

What do you think that would achieve? Apart from missing days? How would that even be phasing in?

Did he go to nursery/pre school?

BasinHaircut · 28/08/2023 19:30

Honestly the best thing for him is to start school and just let him crack on. It’s a routine, why would he need a day off every other week?

I know they seem so young and it is an adjustment but you will probably be surprised how well he copes

Freddiefox · 28/08/2023 19:31

Are they not doing short days to start with and building them up?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Families General education Primary education
modgepodge · 28/08/2023 19:32

I think part time schooling is becoming more common. You’re best talking to the school and seeing what they recommend rather than just randomly picking days to pull him out (though as you say, they can’t fine you or stop you). In my experience though most schools recommend doing mornings only rather than taking full days off. Most of the ‘teaching’ happens in the morning (phonics, maths input etc) and your child may struggle if they are regularly missing this.

00100001 · 28/08/2023 19:32

Considering tens if thousands of 4 year olds will be going to nursery, I doubt your child is so I'll adjusted and insecure he can't handle it.

Sirzy · 28/08/2023 19:35

I think for the majority of children getting into a regular routine as soon as possible works best. Regularly missing a day a week will have a knock on.

obviously some children will benefit from a more gradual start but that needs to be discussed on a case by case basis with the school

Lighttodark · 28/08/2023 19:36

I considered this and understand the reasoning, but didn’t do it. I worried about my child missing out on the routine, building friendships and learning and feared it would be more detrimental.

Themosswidow · 28/08/2023 19:36

I did this. We were an in-year transfer from a country with a very different early years set up and this, plus my child’s personality, made me very worried about how he would react to going to school and I knew if he had a bad experience it would be very hard to get him to go to school at all. The school were helpful and did phase him in, though this was only a term till he turned five. It really helped him to settle and I’m glad we did it.

ColonelPine · 28/08/2023 19:38

Yes. My daughter started full time but was finding it too much so went down to four days a week (Wednesday off) for the whole of reception. She’s an August baby. It worked really well and she got so much more out of school when she was there that bit less! She didn’t suffer academically at all.

The school were very supportive. In fact, I think it was them who suggested it.

Original poster
Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:41

@Freddiefox Only the first 3 days are mornings then it's full time from there

OP posts:
Original poster
Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:41

@00100001 I hope you are right but some children do struggle!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:42

@Lighttodark Yes this crosses my mind too but they are so young and it's mainly play based in reception, I can't imagine he will miss much

OP posts:
Original poster
Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:43

@Themosswidow My ds is the same, any knock will have a huge effect on him. I'd rather go slowly slowly than take the risk of having a battle. I know there's no guarantees though

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/08/2023 19:44

It is played based but its based with a purpose.

see how he gets on, don’t assume he is going to struggle. Give it a few weeks and see how he is settling and then take it from there.

i was sure Ds was going to struggle, had a plan in place with the school ready. He shocked everyone and actually thrived with the regular routine.

00100001 · 28/08/2023 19:45

Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:41

@00100001 I hope you are right but some children do struggle!

I'll bet your son will be fine.

It's hardly a prison camp, it's all play based learning

headcheffer · 28/08/2023 19:47

You're going to get a pile on of people saying you're being precious for suggesting this. And I do think there's an element of trying it and seeing how he gets on, and then discussing with the school. The kids I know who've phased in have all had some additional needs or suspected SEN, and the schools have been brilliant at working out a plan with the parents, and revising regularly based on how the kid was coping. But you know your kid best, so follow your gut. In your shoes I would probably send him and give him the odd day off if I thought he was exhausted or struggling.

Saschka · 28/08/2023 19:48

Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:42

@Lighttodark Yes this crosses my mind too but they are so young and it's mainly play based in reception, I can't imagine he will miss much

It’s play based, but it is still learning. So that means they will sing a song about the letter of the week, practice writing it, play games where they find the letter of the week in a tombola, compete to name things starting with the letter of the week, etc. Not that they are doing free play all day.

DS used to hate missing school because he would have missed stuff when he went back. It’s really far less disruptive to them if they are in every day.

CherryPieMadness · 28/08/2023 19:51

Yes I did this with DS, started him a term late, then on half days until summer term and then full days. It was actually the teacher who basically insisted on half days!

He found it very hard to sit still, and even at that age they do expect kids to ‘conform’ a lot and for boys especially this isn’t easy.

I’d talk to the school. But imho a really good first teacher can help a kid adjust so weigh it up.

Original poster
Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:51

@headcheffer Yes I agree with this. I don't want to disrupt him if everything is fine but I just wanted to know it's an option and what other people have done if he is struggling. Hopefully he will be ok and will love it.

OP posts:
Postapocalypticcowgirl · 28/08/2023 19:58

One day every two weeks is 90% attendance- he won't be the only one in the class on 90% attendance (or even less).

If it comes to it, I would discuss it with the school and listen to their suggestions, for example they may think doing all mornings and missing 2 afternoons a fortnight or similar might be better? They will know what their school set up is like, and may be able to suggest something that will work.

They can't fine, but if it's agreed flexi-schooling, that's much better for everyone. It may start things off on the wrong foot if you just unilaterally decide that he's going to have XYZ days off.

They are very likely to agree he can just do mornings for longer at the start of the term if you want. They likely don't phase too much because it's tricky for working parents!

Yesyesme · 28/08/2023 20:02

Yes ! I have with both my dc. Both august birthday so rather than defer a year we chose to do just 3 days a week in the school nursery not the 5 they tried to insist on then the whole of term 1 and 2 of reception just half days then for the last term we did / will do full days. They did try to say we had to meet attendance targets etc but backed off when we said about not being csa !!

Yesyesme · 28/08/2023 20:03

I should add both mine have asd and adhd so that’s as a factor. Deferring would have not worked as they needed to be in a setting but they didn’t need it full time

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 28/08/2023 20:04

Ikeepontrying · 28/08/2023 19:42

@Lighttodark Yes this crosses my mind too but they are so young and it's mainly play based in reception, I can't imagine he will miss much

In reception my daughter learned a new letter/sound/phonic every day, it isn't just playing

Rogue1001MNer · 28/08/2023 20:19

Pfb!

Parker231 · 28/08/2023 20:24

Is your DS not excited about moving from nursery to school with his friends? DT’s (July babies) were so excited - they wanted a countdown chart so they could see how many days to go.

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