Has anyone on here phased their child into primary school?

[Ikeepontrying]

My 4 yo starts reception in September and I've toyed with maybe phasing him in until he's 5. I know school can't fine you until after they turn 5 and I just feel it might benefit him to break up a long 5 days with maybe a day off every other week or something along those lines.

I was thinking of seeing how he does to start with and making a plan from there.

He's always been a very clingy baby & child and is very attached to me and can get very overwhelmed.

Has anyone else done this and was it beneficial? Was the school accommodating?

My friends son had every Wednesday off until the term after he turned 5. School were fine about it. I’m not sure if it benefitted him much but it didn’t seem to cause any negative issues either

They learn soooo much in reception. Its not just playing without any purpose. My DS was in reception 2019/2020 and the work they were set during lockdown was considerable. He learned to read, to write and developed lots of positive friendships.

@Rogue1001MNer Troll!

@Parker231 Nope. He never liked nursery and doesn't want to start school

I did this with DC1 as she got extremely tired for medical reasons.

We tried to miss afternoons as they did almost all the key learning (phonics, maths) in the mornings. So she missed Wednesday afternoons and some Friday afternoons - but she didn’t like missing fridays as these were fun time!

See how it goes. If he needs a day off, keep him home. If he enjoys it, let him go.

The issue would be if missing days regularly means he misses key bits of learning. Its play based but its the foundation for letter years (phonics, basic maths etc). Saying that, my eldest didn't pick up reading at all in Reception year, despite everyone's best efforts. But took a massive leap in Yr1... then stagnated again.

I appreciate every child is different, but my DD was the youngest in her year of 65 pupils. She was one of the quieter ones, but she absolutely managed and was happy.

She's grown up now and is a lot more confident in dealing with problems than I am.

I've worked in Reception for years. Some parents like to do a reduced week when their child starts and I have always recommended they choose a pattern and stick to it so that child has a proper routine. For example, they might collect at lunchtime on a Wednesday or something like that. This is better than just keeping them off when they are too tired. They will be tired but this is normal.

Most kids don't need this, but it can work well. The other thing to remember is that although there will be no fines etc for poor attendance, school will want to know where your child is when they are not in and will still consider it to be a safeguarding concern if your child has a lot of absence. So it's better to tel the school you what you are going to do and stick to it.

Honestly as someone who has taught many reception classes you sound a little like you're catastophising, it's common for a lot of parents when their child first starts but generally the children are a lot less anxious.

Missing a day every other week won't help him settle, if anything it will do the complete opposite and make him feel like he is missing out/left out.

He will be fine, he won't be the only one who struggles to sit still or who finds parts a little daunting but knowing all his classmates are doing it all for the first time too will be reassuring to him and remember we've seen it all so he won't be the first if he does need some extra support.

I think it can be helpful for some children to have a 'softer' start - as someone said previously, afternoons are better to miss than mornings, and the children are often very tired by the end of the week.

I do think it is very important to have an agreement with the school and to have missed days or afternoons be on a regular schedule - I have found that when it is more random the child doesn't really know where they are and it can contribute to the child feeling more insecure and clingy, and start to think that on any given day they might have time off with mum / at home. Better to say 'Remember, today is a Tuesday so it is a school day. Friday is our home day' instead of both of you being unsure and trying to decide at the gate.

Surely you can understand that not every child will be excited. My DD is about to explode with excitement to get back to her second year of preschool and no doubt will be also excited about primary next year but the little boy across the road who is starting primary school is very nervous about starting school. Every child is different

I did something similar with my son. I pretended that it was so he could come with me to visit my frail, very elderly mother. But really it was because I wasn't ready for him to be a school boy yet. I don't think it did him any harm. But it was all about me!

My dd has a late august birthday. She started school and attended full time. She did struggle a little with tiredness, especially when the weather got colder and darker. I played it by ear and if she was tired or under the weather she stayed home, I think it amounted to maybe twice in the first term, and she maybe had an early finish once or twice where school called to say she needed collecting.

She loved the routine though and seeing her friends every day!

If anything I'd suggest it would be better to take him home after lunch than miss full days.

In reception the main learning especially phonics, letter formation and number skills tends to be done in the mornings.