Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

will my baby be ok in full-time nursery from 9 months old

43 replies

RosePetals97 · 28/08/2023 10:10

not trying to sound precious here. I am in early stages of pregnancy and will be a knowingly single mother. Benefits for childcare seem very generous, covering the full amount (almost £1.3k) but I suppose I feel a little sad about my baby being in nursery from 8am-5:30pm 4 days a week (1 day a week my mum will have him/her). A close friend very harshly asked me if I want to continue with the pregnancy, knowing how tired I already am with the working week and not exactly fitting much else in already. I do want to be a mum and always have but worry this will not get to be the experience I always dreamed of because I will feel like I don't get to ever be with them? Does it feel like that when they are in full-time nursery? I am still quite young and would ideally love to have built my family with a partner but obviously that has not happened and I am pregnant.

OP posts:
Unknownwhere · 28/08/2023 10:19

They will be ok, it’s very young though is there any way to take some annual leave as well as maternity? The longer time before childcare the better but if you have no choice they will be ok

Prinnny · 28/08/2023 10:27

It’s a shame for you that you have to do it but little one will be fine, they’ll get lots of stimulation at nursery, loads of parents are in the same situation! My advice would be find a really amazing nursery and to make the most of your mat leave before you go back to work, lots of baby groups, days out etc make lots of memories!

Dragonwindow · 28/08/2023 10:32

I some ways those long days are easier for babies who still nap, and who have no concept of time. Start researching nurseries early so you can be really confident that you're happy with your choice.

Wraparound care at the lower end of primary school can be harder on them because they get so much more tired during the day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Childcare & nursery Families
Kfjsjdbd · 28/08/2023 10:34

My first DD was in nursery full time from 9 months. I became a better mother once I had a break from her, so it was good for both of us. It was a lovely nursery and she thrived there. She’s 5 now and very well adjusted.

My second DD was with a childminder full time from 10 months. I was nervous about it but preferred this set up as it’s a bit more homely. It helps that our childminder is absolutely wonderful. Again, she’s 2.5 now and a very happy little girl.

o

IamChipmunk · 28/08/2023 10:40

I work full time and didn't want to change this when I had children. Two kids, one went to nursery at 7mo the other at 9mo.
Both happy confident kids who had no issue with starting school, didn't find it tiring as were used to longer days being active and are good at getting on with a wide circle of other children.
Ds didnt sleep ever so going back to work was a well needed break!

Bumply · 28/08/2023 12:21

Twenty odd years ago my sons went to nursery full time from 6 months old.

It was at a time maternity leave could be up to 9pm the but we couldn't afford for me to be off that long.

I have no regrets

daffodilandtulip · 28/08/2023 12:44

Not long ago, maternity was only 6 months or so. DD went at 5.5mo and has developed into a perfectly well adjusted, intelligent adult.

7Worfs · 28/08/2023 12:50

9-10 months is a good age to start with half-days, and after 2-3-4 weeks move onto full days.

I found with both of mine dropping them off at 12pm when lunch is set up was a great distraction from upset. After lunch they’d nap, play a bit and before they knew it, it was 4pm pick-up.

If you can ease them in like that, it will be fine. Nurseries also offer taster sessions (1-2 hours) where you join the baby in the room, so they get used to it quicker.

Tired6789 · 28/08/2023 12:54

I am sorry your friend said that, they don't sound at all supportive. Lots of kids start nursery at that age- and in America a lot younger! Good luck with your pregnancy

Myfirstcarwasamini · 28/08/2023 13:07

My DS went at 5 months old. I didn't have a choice and worried like you but he loved nursery. He went to school without a problem and is now a well adjusted emotionally intelligent adult and I'm so proud of him.

I didn't have any help around me but getting to know the brilliantly helpful nursery assistants was so good for me too. I always felt that they knew him as well as I did.
Please don't worry and try to look upon the nursery as part of your support network.

Don't take any notice of your friend's comment. My baby made me stronger in so many ways and I bet yours will too.

Crinklecutchips1 · 28/08/2023 13:18

Another one whose child went to nursery from 6 months- five actually as I spent a month settling her in.

I think it was harder on me than on her - she was confident, happy and made lots of friends. In fact my mother who had no time for nurseries and thought all childcare should be done by families suggested to my younger sisters that they must send their children to nursery as dd was doing so well there.

A friend of mine - who has an older child - told me that leaving a child at 6 months is much easier than leaving one at one year as they are harder to settle once they are older.

A lady who I met through NCT, and who became good friends with decided to send her dd to the same same nursery as my dd as she was so happy there. Her dd was over a year when she went and was much more difficult to settle - and really didn't ever do so.

Just make sure that you are happy with the nursery - you will definitely get a feel for it. Be warned though - YOU will be the one blubbering for days.

Good luck

PumpkinSpiceSeason · 28/08/2023 15:35

Mine went at 5m as I was in a new job and didn't get much time off and DP was a student. It was also Covid so I only met one carer and couldn't go in until he was well over a year old. We didn't have a choice.

DS is nearly 3 now and thriving. He came home counting in Italian the other day. He shares well and is very gentle around babies. We don't have family here but he's got good friend groups.

Original poster
RosePetals97 · 28/08/2023 15:37

Thank you all so much, this has made me feel so much better about it!

OP posts:
stayathomer · 28/08/2023 15:39

Op you will be fine xxxxxxx I used to drop my eldest in at half seven and we’d be home at half seven. Still got to do bedtimes, bathtimes, stories. You learn to use your leave wisely and then there’s weekends and at some stage you can see about parental leave. When you think about all of this stuff it’s overwhelming but at some stage you’ll be sitting in a chair feeding your baby/chatting to them and you’ll feel like there’s nowhere else you want to be in the world. Take deep breaths xxx

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/08/2023 15:42

I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive. I'm in a similar position and my baby is 6months now - can your work let you compress your hours at all (eg do 4.5 days worth of hours over 4 days?) it's worth asking if it's possible as that's what I'm doing. You'll have lots of time with your lovely baby -9m is quite normal for babies to go into nursery and it's lovely that you mum will have baby one day a week too. You'll still have your weekends and annual leave and baby will have bath and story time with you every week day evening.
At 6m my baby is already interested in other babies and what they're up to so by 9m your baby will be excited to meet new people and see news toys and stories at nursery.

You'll also accrue annual leave and bank holidays during your Mat leave which might mean you can stretch out till baby is 10m before you go back to work.

IN America lots of babies are in full time nursery from 11 weeks!

You sound like you'll be a fab mum thinking ahead.

lordloveadog · 28/08/2023 15:45

Yes, if it is a good nursery with a baby-focused baby room. Try to find a nursery with low staff turnover - that's a sign it's working well.

Strokethefurrywall · 28/08/2023 15:48

All will be fine OP. My boys were both in daycare from 16 weeks and thrived.

CatchHimDerry · 28/08/2023 15:51

Mine went at 5 months and is now 14 months.

we have made the decision to switch to childminder as he was definitely not thriving there at nursery.

we chose an offsted excellent, Montessori type set up thinking it was the best for him, and it just doesn’t suit him.
We have a lot of issues with illness as well.

He is our first so I had no idea of the right or wrong thing, but we are so glad we made the change to CM and he loves it there.

Just for a different viewpoint there!

buzzlightyearsgloves · 28/08/2023 15:51

It's fine. Mine went for 12 weeks and now is so sociable he chats to everyone and anyone and makes friends whenever they go. People will always find a way to make you feel guilty.

ClinkyWotsit · 28/08/2023 16:30

DD started nursery 4 days per week at just under 10 months old. Perhaps all the problems that the nursery doom-mongers on MN foretell will come to pass but she’s now 3 and seems to be reasonably well adjusted and getting on just fine.

Theshining82 · 28/08/2023 16:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/08/2023 16:33

Mine went to nursery from 3m. She was fine and is a great mum herself now.

redxlondon · 31/12/2023 10:47

Wow please ignore the comments about it being too young. I was in full time nursery from 3 months old, do I remember? Of course I don’t!! Nurseries are an amazing place for stimulation, and I’m so surprised at your friend. Most mothers will work full time, you do you and don’t worry at all xxx
I’m planning for my little one to be in nursery full time between 6-9 months - I’ll decide depending on how the first 6 months go.
Anyone able to not have their little ones in full time nursery are in privileged positions…

redxlondon · 31/12/2023 10:48

Prinnny · 28/08/2023 10:27

It’s a shame for you that you have to do it but little one will be fine, they’ll get lots of stimulation at nursery, loads of parents are in the same situation! My advice would be find a really amazing nursery and to make the most of your mat leave before you go back to work, lots of baby groups, days out etc make lots of memories!

why is it a “shame”?????

redxlondon · 31/12/2023 10:49

Unknownwhere · 28/08/2023 10:19

They will be ok, it’s very young though is there any way to take some annual leave as well as maternity? The longer time before childcare the better but if you have no choice they will be ok

Sorry but strongly disagree, there’s plenty of evidence on the positive impact of nursery care. This is ver unfair.