will my baby be ok in full-time nursery from 9 months old

[RosePetals97]

not trying to sound precious here. I am in early stages of pregnancy and will be a knowingly single mother. Benefits for childcare seem very generous, covering the full amount (almost £1.3k) but I suppose I feel a little sad about my baby being in nursery from 8am-5:30pm 4 days a week (1 day a week my mum will have him/her). A close friend very harshly asked me if I want to continue with the pregnancy, knowing how tired I already am with the working week and not exactly fitting much else in already. I do want to be a mum and always have but worry this will not get to be the experience I always dreamed of because I will feel like I don't get to ever be with them? Does it feel like that when they are in full-time nursery? I am still quite young and would ideally love to have built my family with a partner but obviously that has not happened and I am pregnant.

Baby will be fine, but just as a warning that is peak separation anxiety age and you may both find it extra tough at drop off to start with. I'm sorry your friend said such an unkind thing.

Maternity leave used to be max 6 months, those kids are now grown up

It’s a shame for the OP who clearly states she feels sad about it..not sure what you don’t understand about that with your excessive question marks 🤣

Mine will be going from six months old. We have no choice whatsoever. Mortgage has gone up £400 a month and all I get is basic maternity pay from 6 weeks onwards.

Take no notice of your friend. I take it they don't have children? My DD (now 3) went into nursery 3 days per week (i worked 4 but my mum took her one day) from 9 months and she was totally fine. It will likely be a hard adjustment for you to leave her there but i think that's the case no matter what age they are.

There are some benefits from 2+ and noticeable benefits from 3+

Under 2 it’s for the benefit of the parents to allow them to work but it’s not harmful to children it’s just there’s no real benefit

Granddaughter was in nursery 4 days at 12 months . She has been absolutely fine . Just be 100% happy with staffing etc and communication.

My 2dd’s were both in nursery from 8 months, I had no choice but to go back to work full time, sometimes that’s just life, to be honest I’ve never worried about it, I did what I did so I could afford my house and bills and the girls were both fine being at nursery. I’ve never dwelled on it, it was just something I had to do!

My DC went to Nursery FT at 26 weeks. Very well adjusted 27 year old.

You’re perpetuating the stereotype that women must stay at home. There’s no shame, it’s admirable to be independent and working.

No it doesn’t feel like you spend no time with them when they are in full time childcare. They will be absolutely fine. You will be shattered but you’ll do it. If you can at all look into some kind of flexible working stuff if it’s possible at all - like a compressed week - a 9 day fortnight - work from home. Something/anything to give yourself a bit of wiggle room.

That’s some reach there Stretch Armstrong.

No idea how you came to that completely inaccurate theory considering I’m a working mother who went back at 9months and my child shock
horror went to nursery 🤣🤣

You ok?

Both of mine went to a childminder from 5/6 months old. My first was 8 weeks prem so really she was 'only 4 months old' (as I kept being told!) when she started going.
Once they were in school they both had to go to breakfast club and after school club so we could work, it was tough and the days were long for all of us but we survived.
I always gave them their tea at home no matter how late it was and did bath and bedtime every night to spend time with them.
They are both well adjusted teenagers now and both of them have a strong work ethic so I don't see any lasting harm!

Your baby will be absolutely fine, most people need to return to work when they have a baby. Mine went full time 5 days a week from 9 months. I'm a teacher so just had to console myself that I get to spend evenings, weekends and holidays with them. They are absolutely fine now they're almost grown up and it hasn't done them any harm.
You'll always be tired with a baby anyway so that doesn't make and difference. I've been permanently tired for the last 17 years.

My mum was a single mum and could not afford much maternity leave. I went to a childminder 8am - 6pm 5 days a week from 6weeks old and am a normal well adjusted adult. I was always very proud that my mum was hard working and had a ‘good’ job growing up. I saw her as a role model. Both my children went to nursery 3 days a week from 12months and seem ok. They were pretty much with the same group of women and children every day so they formed good relationships with them.

The Dad should contribute financially and have the child even if you're no longer with him.

You tell me hun. You’re the one who unearthed a 6 month old thread and tried to tell me I was shaming a woman for going back to work and putting her child in nursery when I simply sympathised with her! What a weirdo.