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Original poster

Daughter sexually assaulted on flight

73 replies

Aweigh · 27/08/2023 09:24

My daughter flew an Air India flight from LHR to DEL, from where she had a connecting flight to another country.

She is 16 and was travelling alone.

She was in the window seat, and the young man next to her was Nepali and travelling there. She does not know his name but it seems that he was or is a gurkha.

She chatted briefly during the flight and in the middle of the night he sexually assaulted her.

She told me this a few days latter.

It is clear from what I have read that this took place in Indian territory, it being an Indian plane, so the Indian police have jurisdiction, so that's not very useful.

My daughter says she doesn't want to do anything about the matter, but I did contact Air India on the hope that perhaps I could find out this man's personal details, social media, whether he's still in the UK army and so on.

However Air India have replied:

  1. we won't give these out
  2. our crew did not receive any report at the time (well no, she was frightened).

Do you have any suggestions if I should do anything else?

OP posts:
Cucucucu · 27/08/2023 13:24

You can and should report it even without your daughter. Furthermore if she was in India she is a child as an adult must be over 18 . Sorry but this is to serious to let it go

Floweryx123 · 27/08/2023 13:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

rcat74 · 27/08/2023 13:29

I’m assuming you mean a Gurkha soldier? Contact the Army. This is a massive issue for the British Army at the moment and they will want this dealt with. I’m so sorry for your daughter. What an awful thing to happen to her.

my82my · 27/08/2023 13:36

Contact Rape Crisis Uk, they will be able to support your daughter if she wants to make a statement with the police.
They also have legal advisors to answer your question about being in India.💐

Original poster
Aweigh · 27/08/2023 13:43

> My daughter recently flew that route with that airline and I completely believe your daughter. The misogyny was dreadful. They refused to even speak to her as she was with a Male ( platonic) friend only the Male mattered. We had a different issue and had to make a complaint and get a refund and the jurisdiction fell to the airport she had left from ie Heathrow and therefore EU law for the CAA. Hope this helps if she changes her mind.

I checked the government website, it says that generally the police have no jurisdiction for offences outside the UK

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/victim-of-rape-and-sexual-assault-abroad

However there is s72 of the SOA 2003, which provides that:

  1. if a UK national commits a relevant offence outside the UK then he is guilty in E&W and
  2. if a UK resident commits a relevant offence outside the UK that is also an offence in that country, then he is guilty in E&W.
  3. if a non-UK resident commits such an offence in a country where it also an offence, then he can be prosecuted if he later becomes a UK resident

Relevant offences are as per Schedule 2:

  1. Offences against children under 13
  2. Sexual activity with a child (i.e. someone below the age of consent)
  3. Abuse of a position of trust
  4. Incest
  5. Sexual exploitation of children

And all other sexual offences where the victim is aged under 18.

So in this case it seems that the police do have full jurisdiction, providing he's coming back to the UK.

As far as India goes, yes the misogyny seems to be worse than other Asian countries, I flew Kingfisher Airlines and I remember noting the behaviour of some of the male passengers towards the crew was very misogynistic.

Victim of rape and sexual assault abroad

Information for British nationals affected by rape or sexual assault abroad, including how to access medical treatment and legal advice in the UK.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/victim-of-rape-and-sexual-assault-abroad

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 27/08/2023 13:47

How awful for you and your dd. It doesn’t matter what country you are in right now, contact the police and they will be able to further assist you. They will hopefully be able to take it further with the airline.

I would also take her the doctors. She needs a check up and just support for her own mental health.

Please contact womensaid and or tape crisis Uk and they can provide support and all the correct avenues to go down.

Tessabelle74 · 27/08/2023 13:50

You don't do anything if your daughter has asked you not to! If (and only then) your daughter wants to peruse this, then get in touch with your local police and they will know what to do

Andthereyougo · 27/08/2023 13:51

I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter.
I agree with going with what she wants, difficult though that may be for you. You can always contact Rape Crisis for advice, support for you.
He may not be a Gurkha, could have said that as conversation to engage her, gain a degree of trust.

my82my · 27/08/2023 13:57

I wouldn't contact the police without your daughter's consent. I understand why you want to but that needs to be her decision.
Rape crisis will help you with the best way to talk to your daughter in the coming weeks. They have a great team of advisors and perhaps your daughter will speak to them. You could always make a few notes yourself while it's fresh in your mind, That way if she does go to the police you have a statement of sorts.

Oblomov23 · 27/08/2023 14:21

I am very sorry. Is it worth reporting to the police? I don't know enough about what happens time wise, assuming is it too late to collect any physical evidence.

my82my · 27/08/2023 14:35

Hopefully there's footage. The Airline won't be able to hand it over to you but the police will be able to get the footage.
Again though only if your daughter wants to do this.

Daughter sexually assaulted on flight
Cowlover89 · 27/08/2023 14:48

I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter. I know its hard but don't do anything without her consent. X

Cucucucu · 27/08/2023 14:51

Tessabelle74 · 27/08/2023 13:50

You don't do anything if your daughter has asked you not to! If (and only then) your daughter wants to peruse this, then get in touch with your local police and they will know what to do

the OPs daughter is a child . They need cuidava cê and an adult in charge .

FasciaDreams · 27/08/2023 15:03

So sorry this has happened to your daughter OP.
One thing I would say... report or not.... you need to explore how your daughter is feeling. Of course don't push her but just because she seems fine with it doesn't mean it is.

I was sexually assaulted at a similar age by a driving instructor and not only did it give me very bad driving anxiety but I did not want anybody else touching me for a long time. Could not bring myself to have sex with partners even. I told my parents and they complained to the schools nobody listened.... they wanted to make a police report but I said not to because I was ashamed and thought it was somehow my fault. Therapy, help for survivors etc all didn't exist in my country.

It took years to get over and I kept pushing it away but it finally caught up with me. Now as an adult I wished I had made the bastard pay but would it have changed anything? I don't know. But maybe it would have prevented some other girls experiencing what I did. I feel sick at the thought of him being allowed to roam free like that alone with young girls in cars.

PP have given useful practical advice but I just wanted to share my experience.

Blondephantom · 27/08/2023 15:34

I am a survivor of rape. I appreciate you are going through hell as well as your daughter. You desperately want to make it better and feel the need to do something…anything that might help. I know you only want the best for your daughter.

The perpetrator of the assault violated her by touching her without consent. By doing anything she has not actively given you permission to do, you are again taking away her right to consent. That is extremely damaging to someone who is recovering from an assault of this nature.

It is a really difficult thing to do but you need to be led by your daughter. Research and give her the options then support her even if it is not what you’d choose. She may doubt herself and her choices. Don’t allow anyone to make her feel like she MUST do anything. Everything that happens from now needs to be up to her and happen on her time scale.

Please message me if I can help either of you in any way.

BlueMoe · 27/08/2023 15:44

Aweigh · 27/08/2023 09:54

> Give her the options and support her even if she decides not to take it any further. Victims of sexual assault have already had their autonomy overridden once, they need to have their decisions on what to do next respected.

Yes this is the issue. She told me she doesn't want to do anything. I did tell her I was emailing Air India and she wasn't very keen, but I said I just wanted to find out who he is.

The other issue is that while I don't think she has contact with squaddies in her daily activities , if this man is in the UK then there's a good chance that he's based somewhere very close to where she hangs out (with her boyfriend goes to school). So that could be weighing on her mind - if he was based hundreds of miles away then that would be one thing, but perhaps she's worried in that he may have friends and connections as well in the area.

She said he came across as a total fuck boi i.e. it seems like he had a very high opinion of himself and has probably done similar things before.

I am so sorry that your daughter has experienced disgusting crime.
However OP, the airline will not give you the name. And to avoid libel at best/vigilante action at worst they are correct not to share his details with you.

The only option is to go to the police - if your daughter so chooses.

My daughters also fly alone regularly and this is a big fear of mine.

gogomoto · 27/08/2023 15:51

Contact the British army, if he's a current Gurkha they should be able to trace him and will want to know, they can discipline themselves too, they don't need to rely on the Indian police. They take this seriously. If he's left it may be much harder as they would have no records of travel.

notimagain · 27/08/2023 15:56

my82my · 27/08/2023 14:35

Hopefully there's footage. The Airline won't be able to hand it over to you but the police will be able to get the footage.
Again though only if your daughter wants to do this.

I’m not sure about that C&P.

I guess there may be exceptions but I’ve never heard of CCTV routinely in use on board in passenger areas, let alone the info from any system being held on the voice or flight data recorders (the two black boxes).

notimagain · 27/08/2023 16:11

^^ More correctly: "I’ve never heard of CCTV routinely in use on board to monitor and maybe record activity in entire passenger areas/entire cabins...."

CaptainSeven · 27/08/2023 17:21

Thanks @BCCoach that's what I thought. I did doubt myself for a while there!

It all hinges on the perp being an active serviceman.

If he is then Military Police for sure.

If the daughter can be supported to do this and it becomes her wishes.

Devpatelslaughingeyes · 27/08/2023 18:00

gogomoto · 27/08/2023 15:51

Contact the British army, if he's a current Gurkha they should be able to trace him and will want to know, they can discipline themselves too, they don't need to rely on the Indian police. They take this seriously. If he's left it may be much harder as they would have no records of travel.

If he is returning to Nepal from the UK the army will have a record of his travel details as they would have issued the warrant. He may have left or been discharged but they would still have given him a travel warrant to get home.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2023 18:43

Please look at Rae crisis and similar charities. Focus on your daughter. Listen to PP and please respect her wishes - she is probably regretting telling you if you keep pushing her to report it. She told you because she wanted support and love not because she needs advice on how to report this. Take the burden of punishing this man /preventing him to do it to others off her.

If you want to help her, share a helpline for victims with her and let her know you can leave the house and give her some privacy IF she wants to contact them or you can be with her IF she wants to contact them

Tessabelle74 · 29/08/2023 23:15

Cucucucu · 27/08/2023 14:51

the OPs daughter is a child . They need cuidava cê and an adult in charge .

Show quote history

She's 16, not a baby! If she reports it against her daughter's wishes she will destroy any trust between them, probably for good! The best thing to do is support her and help her to see that reporting it will be a good thing and helping her reach that decision for herself

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