Don't forget the children who didn't get the exam results they hoped for.

[Whatmonth]

Our granddaughter has failed her exams and is devastated.
In march she was on a ventilator after a bust cyst on her burst appendix.
Unconscious for 3 weeks.
Only came out of hospital 7 days before the start of the GCSE exams.

As we have said it is not the end of the world (of course it is for her)
Yes the exam board has given her leeway.
Unfortunately we can't give her a cuddle as we have covid.

Your poor granddaughter. At her age it will seem like the end of the world but of course it's not. She has been through a terrible time and there was nothing she could do to stop herself bring so ill and having time away from school.
My heart goes out to her. We are experiencing similar with our grandson
He dropped out of A levels in December due to mental health
He really only had a term to go until Easter as really after Easter it is mainly revision. He had a lot of support and advice about staying but couldn't/wouldn't. Now he is watching all his friends moving on to Uni ect and has the extra pressure of blaming himself. Where your dgd is there is no way she could do anything about it. Hopefully she will begin to understand that and want to move on again soon. I'm sure the whole family will be giving her lots of reassurance, love and support. 💐

My Facebook is full of my dds friend's parents congratulating their dc for smashing their exams and getting the grades they hoped for. My dd is having to change her options for next year after failing history. It sucks, but all I can do is let her know how proud I am. She really has come so far from the little girl with a severe speech delay who started primary needing support with her work.

@YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake @shiningstar2
I'm sorry to hear about your children.
It's very difficult to know what to say. The pressure that is put on to get the right grades.
When they are older they will realise that they can change their lives.
Resits or change their career ideas.

Wow how fantastic she was able to sit them at all!

i hope when things settle she finds the right path forward and most importantly her health stays better

Just so you know it's not the end of the world!
My DS dropped out of school after his GCSEs. Went to college, briefly, and then joined the military. Was able to drop out of their after a few months and went from one temp job to another. He was lucky enough to speak to friend's wife who was a midwife. He then went back to college and knuckled down to do an Access course. By his mid 20s he had a 1st class degree in Midwifery.
It may seem like the end of the world but it's not. All you can do is support, support and support.

The first thing I’d do is stop referring to it as ‘failing’. If you have to mention it at all, then she didn’t get the mark deemed to be this years pass is a better way of putting it. Then focus on everything she has achieved. To have the strength of character to go ahead with her exams only seven days after leaving hospital when she’d gone through so much shows she absolutely has every chance of succeeding in future. Assuming she will take resits, and maybe change her focus from her original plans, and after all how many of us actually end up half way through life doing what we thought we were going to do when we were 16?
And not getting the pass marks you expected/wanted/needed isn’t always a disaster - one of my DDs currently getting to go back to year two at Uni, doing something she didn’t think she would and not at the Uni she thought was her only path in life. She didn’t get the grade she needed and this time last year she thought it was the end of the world. Went through clearing, got last minute accommodation and has been having the time of her life. We often look back and talk about the fact that had she got the place she intended we really dont think it would have suited her (and there would have been a good chance she wouldn’t have stuck it out). She agrees and is surprised that this curve ball has worked out so well. Wishing your GD good luck and good health!

My brother got 1 GCSEs and then dropped out of school. He's now a multi millionaire who owns a tech company.

There are many paths in life.

I do university admissions. Serious factors affecting GCES results like this can be explained in the personal statement, or the reference from teachers, or in an additional note. We would then ignore these results, and just look at the A level predictions. So, if A-levels and university were what she wanted, this should not have taken them away from her.

Assuming her school aren't going to let this influence what she's allowed to do there next year. I'd be appalled if they do.

Thank you for starting this thread. DS got all 1-3 for his. He's gutted. He does have a chronic health condition and some slow processing issues, but to be completely honest, he didn't put the work in. I think he thought he'd wing it and get at least Maths and English. Whilst we are 100% supportive, I hope he realises that you need to make an effort.

Off to college soon to see what they can offer.

My DD basically left school at 15 as her dad was terminally ill, tried to return after he died, school were not supportive at all.
Went to college to do an access course and is now about to start university at 18.
Not everyone has a direct path and higher education is not for everyone, many great careers come from apprenticeships.

I agree with everything you have said up to the point about apprenticeships. My son will be starting one soon, he needed 5 GCSEs at grade 5 or above to join the course (must include maths and English).
Many children won't have got the grades they needed to continue with their plans whatever they may be.

My brother didn’t do well at school. Just not academic. I was a star student. He has a much better career than me; owns his own businesses and can earn £££ with a few phone calls. I am on an extremely low salary, albeit in a job I enjoy. Life gives you many chances and it isn’t all about exam grades.

She hasn't failed though, she sat them after only being discharged from hospital 7 days before. That's incredibly brave and resilient and you need to be telling her how proud of her you are for doing that.
She hasn't got the marks she needed and the school and her parents will support her in making the next step but please let her know how much she has achieved so far.

Yes I agree op and also don’t forget those young people who don’t achieve GCSEs due to learning difficulties. My 16 and 18 year olds are both in special schools and don’t even access qualifications at that level but I have had several calls today asking how they did.

Is your granddaughter able to resit? I’m sure the school will want to help her as much as possible.

We've ended up a home ed family. Originally I got back footed into it from necessity, then we all chose it as a positive option. It's opened our eyes.

The education system and media, pushes an idea that if you can't do X at Y point alongside everyone who was born around the same point as you, your options are now lowered and limited. It is very destructive for many, especially those who do badly through things outside their control. There are always other options.

Education is so much more than exams. A lot of the most important things I see in my Dc's and DGC's that are valuable and appreciated by employers and others, aren't marked by grades. Learning how and when not to do things is every bit as important as how and when to do them, along with resilience.

I'm now facilitating some of my grandchildren's education and some refugee children's alongside them. Life doesn't have to be a competitive race, or children seen as failures, or limited to only certain paths, if they haven't done as well as a random cohort at something at a specific age.

Exams can be resat. And at any age. They're not the be all and end all of life.
While it costs, there's little to stop a child in school from sitting/re sitting as a private candidate if their schools don't support them. (ours all sit as private candidates and meet school educated children doing this surprisingly often.)

Outside the school system there is nothing to stop those who do badly at a subject at GCSE from still going on to study it at A level and ace it. There are also other exams and accreditation's that can be useful if required. (Driving and AAT are particularly useful things a young person can have under their belt, and Arts Awards for those interested in arts and drama are good structured preparation for lots of things, and adapt well for differentiation needs inc LD's. )

Would be apprentices can take a year out and re-sit through school or home. (Guardians need to remember to tell hmrc they're still in full time education)

University can be applied for at any age. From 22 onward applicants become mature students who don't automatically need formal qualifications. There are lots of ways of showing you are ready for university study, if it's whats wanted.

@Judashascomeintosomemoney excellent post. OP's granddaughter is admirable and hopefully has made a full recovery. As an aside, this is why it is essential that Adult Education is restored as there needs to be opportunities for self improvement throughout life. Night school doesn't really exist anymore for practical qualifications. Sometimes just having survived school in one piece is more than enough and people only feel able to properly learn later on in life

The fact that she sat them at all says an awful lot about her. She will go far with that attitude/ work ethic etc.

It does but it also says a lot about our education system, where clearly children who have been very ill are out in a position where they feel pressured (not by parents, but the education exam system) in to sitting a dozen or more exams just days after coming out of hospital after been unconscious!

That's just wrong really. No child should have to do that.
There should be a system that allows for continuous progress to e taken fully into account, not relying almost entirely on end of two year exams. Covid showed us why that didn't work - hence the mess up with grades in 2020.

There should be a better system so that children in such positions are penalised in this way.

@HerMammy I thought access courses were for 19+ without formal qualifications?

Similar experience here ,my son collapsed in February,with diabetic ketoacidosis (we didn't know he was diabetic) they also found his pancreas was inflamed and necrotising,he spent three weeks in intensive care and a further week,in a general ward and missed loads of school ,he's got lowish grades,but enough to do a level two course which was the plan
I'm just really proud he was able to sit his exams and come to terms with being Diabetic,what's the next stage for your granddaughter?there will be an option eve if it's not the one she hoped for.

I disagree with all those who say they haven't failed. They have. There is a clear pass mark. These are 16 year olds. They are not idiots. They have failed and they're allowed to sit with that and be upset and angry. I know people mean well but it's extremely patronising and doesn't work.

x2boys I always notice your posts about your son. My daughter was diagnosed with diabetes when she collapsed in severe DKA at the start of year 13, and even though she had months until her exams, the trauma of severe illness and the life changing diagnosis had a massive impact. I'm so pleased your son is able to move on to his next step. My daughter is heading off next month to hers too.

@Foxesandsquirrels so you think we should tell our children that they are failures.
Mental health is more important than anything today.
Let's hope your child doesn't fail as you have no empathy.

Wth is wrong with you? Where did I say that? I am saying we shouldn't dismiss their very valid pain and upset by saying oh you didn't fail. There are a lot of other ways to make them feel better. Talking about options etc. But this is very very fresh and allowing kids to process that is very important. Saying oh you didn't fail, when they're staring at their 2s and 3s is just patronising ans invalidating.