Don't forget the children who didn't get the exam results they hoped for.

[Whatmonth]

Our granddaughter has failed her exams and is devastated.
In march she was on a ventilator after a bust cyst on her burst appendix.
Unconscious for 3 weeks.
Only came out of hospital 7 days before the start of the GCSE exams.

As we have said it is not the end of the world (of course it is for her)
Yes the exam board has given her leeway.
Unfortunately we can't give her a cuddle as we have covid.

I could also say you have no empathy if you think it's ok to lie to a child who's staring at grades that are fails, dismissing their upset and invalidating their anger by saying oh don't worry, you didn't fail! It is very important those kids don't feel like complete failures. Talking about their options and allowing them to work through their feelings so they don't feel like failures is more important than saying oh you didn't fail. A lot of the time that's what adults say because they themselves feel uncomfortable and it makes teens feel like crap!

What one parent think is 'smashed it' is completely different to another. One parent with a dc who worked hard to get 4s would be thrilled if they got a couple of 5s. Another might be disappointed that there is a 7 amongst the 8s and 9s

So when they say 'smashed it' , it doesn't mean anything objectively

Unusual choice. Does he struggle with pregnant women not wanting to a male midwife?

What do universities do with GCSEs? I guess it might depend on the type of institution but how much emphasis is put in GCSEs in subjects not related to the course being applied for?

I agree with @Foxesandsquirrels The kids are not failures but they have experienced failure. It is vitally important that everyone understands and learns to deal with failures in life because we will all fail at things that are important to us. Denying that failure occurs does not do our young people any favours. Modelling how to manage failure and learn from it is part of our job as parents. Sadly it's apparent that some parents have no idea how to navigate failure with their dc. They just want to convince them that they didn't fail. That's terrible parenting. Failure is not the end of the story. It's a part of the journey

@Foxesandsquirrels a “clear” pass mark? You mean the one which changes every year? That one?

I dislike the way children are only allowed to fail exams if they have medical reasons.

Some aren’t academic ( but forced to take exams), some don’t work, some muck
up on the day. The emphasis on GCSEs as the measure of a child’s success is nonsense.

It doesn't matter. DS flunked all of his A-levels. The lot. He took a year off (working in a local record shop) and then re-took them at a local college. Went to Uni as a "mature student" (24 FFS).

He's now a MA from a Russell Group university and with a senior position in his field.

Just because you fail exams at the end of your school time isn't the end of the world.

I can remember the moment I realised I should have tried harder at my GCSEs and it was horrible. I somehow thought the coursework would sort it out but I only got two c's in English. The rest were d e and one f in motor vehicle studies. I wanted to be a journalist and didn't have enough. I then tried to do another media course but dropped out. Then did business and finance and re did my maths as an adult. I now earn 29k in finance. I was predicted E's in science and French and got D's so was quite proud in a silly way

As far as I am concerned DD succeeded when she sat assessments for TAGs 2 years ago on minimal prep, despite her not getting any at 4+.
And she succeeded again this summer when she overcame a lot of anxiety to actually enter the exam room and properly sit maths for the first time.
Her grade 3 pass today may not be a GCSE level 2 pass, but it was hard won.

Oh poor her. My daughters friend had Covid through hers and although she's passed most she hasn't done very well against her predictions. She's feeling pretty crappy today.

Poor kids, we need to remind them that it doesn't always go to plan but they have their whole lives to make changes and try new things.

As a secondary teacher I hate the increasing exam pressure and the way kids feel like failures.

My friends daughter got mostly 6s which is a strong grade, you don't get a 6 without trying!but because a 9 sounds so much better she thinks she's rubbish.

The psychological effect of constant exam scrutiny and the pressure of getting it right on one day after years of work is ridiculous.

I’ve been doing enrolment at college today so encountering a range of students and seeing their exam results. We’re a sixth form college so taking the more academic students from the area (although we have level 2 and vocational courses) and trust me, the ones with rafts of 8s and 9s are SO far the minority. You’d never know from the media but most students I come across have 4s-6s with the odd 7 maybe in something they’re good at and the odd 2/3 in things they didn’t like or want to take. And even students without the 4s can get level 2 places.

Sorry to hear about your grand daughter. She's had a traumatic time. What leeway did the exams board give her?

@Whatmonth they only give a 10% uprise at best for extenuating circumstances. Which is crap.
find a nice college where she can do them again and get what she deserves.

My daughter, despite a diagnosis of dyspraxia, was not allowed extra time in her GCSEs. This meant that she did not get the grades she needed for the A levels she wanted to take. She went to the local sixth form college and did a level 2 diploma in health and social care while retaking some GCSEs. She was also diagnosed with ASD and was finally awarded the extra time she so desperately needed. She excelled as she is highly capable and academic but her speed of writing was the problem. She was then accepted into a very academic sixth form, which suited her down to the ground. She went on to university and last year gained her Master's degree with distinction across the board.
To all those youngsters and their families who are disappointed today and last week,
it feels like a the end of the world now but
life has a way of working out in the end.

Pretty much everyone this thread is agreeing that despite not passing the exams, they are not failures. Success looks different to different people with different challenges in life. Using more positive terminology is in no way detrimental to them. Having had to deal very carefully with a suicidal teenager, I learnt very quickly how to moderate language to navigate the situation safely. OPs GD was unconscious and in a ventilator for three weeks, she went back to school seven days before the only public exams she will have sat in secondary. She did not pass the exams but she is not a failure. That is literally what has been said here many times.
Trying to be an Edgelord ‘I tell it like it is, me’ sort is stupid and dangerous in some situations, but there will always be those kind of people I suppose.

Dgd has been to college with her results.
Has signed up to do maths and English.
And has signed up for a level 2 of the course she is interested in.
Talking to other students from all over the area that uses this college she was more positive this evening.

My DD knows about failure. It is success she hasn't got much experience of.

@TeenDivided that's why the whole exam system is failing our kids. They're not the failures, the exam system is!

I love this

Straight paths to the destination might be the quickest route but those with twists and turns often make for the most interesting journey. They still get to the destination.

GCSE results don’t define a person. They might straighten the path a little bit but they’re not an impassable roadblock.

Actually I agree with this. It's ok to fail. I know it's tough. But in order to pick yourself up you first have to accept the fail. It's not that they personally are a failure but that they didn't meet the required mark to pass. And that's ok. It's not a value judgement on them. It's one method of assessment of their knowledge in certain subjects according to what the government says they must know.

I recently failed my anatomy and physiology exam twice for my Pilates qualification and then sat it again a third time and finally passed. Exams can be done again.
Ds last year missed some of his GCSE exams because he had covid and actually sat some feeling a bit ill but did ok. They seem unimportant this year as they are looking at A level predictions for university.
I hope she is ok.

Yh exactly. People are saying I don't care about kids mental health. Quite the opposite. Never experiencing failure and learning to deal with its aftermath massively effects levels of resilience in kids. If they see adults around them saying no no you didn't fail, that further asserts that failure is so bad it's impossible.

'success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts,' Winston Churchill