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Original poster

Seeing the worst that society has to offer

42 replies

Motivationtoaddress · 23/08/2023 19:06

I work in a job where I see the very worst of society every single day. Most of the time I can compartmentalise my job so that some of the awful things I see and read don't affect me but for some reason it has got me down today.

If you have an emotionally challenging job, how do you deal with it and leave it at work?

OP posts:
Titicacacandle · 23/08/2023 19:07

I drink gin tbh. See friends, lots of music and go for walks/gym/swimming after work.

RockAndRollerskate · 23/08/2023 19:07

sit in the car on my drive after work for as long as it takes to calm down

PollyAmour · 23/08/2023 19:12

I cycle home and listen to my calming playlist.

IfICantHaveYou · 23/08/2023 19:16

I'm wondering if I have the same job as you do OP

MumUndone · 23/08/2023 19:19

Grow a very hard, very thick skin. When out of work focus only on me and mine. Wine.

IfICantHaveYou · 23/08/2023 19:20

I get out and walk the dog and do lots of gardening.... helps shake it off

Blackbyrd · 23/08/2023 19:21

This is why social workers, police detectives and even welfare rights/housing officers burn out. Definitely let HR know of any difficulties and keep proof of that. Just in case it does become too much and you need some ammunition. Your employer has a duty of care towards you and it's also very important to debrief on a regular basis with colleagues

VioletCharlotte · 23/08/2023 19:30

Do you work in Parliament?

Just kidding we'll sort of it must be incredibly hard. I don't know how social workers, prison wardens, etc do it. Some of the things you see and hear every day must stay with you for a long time.

Tortiemiaw · 23/08/2023 19:38

I swim and I run and I have the best colleagues who I can unload to - them with me as well.

I've worked in 'sad' jobs for many years now and still find it difficult but I just remind myself that out there there may be people remembering that I did something once which made them feel better for at least a bit

Original poster
Motivationtoaddress · 23/08/2023 19:43

IfICantHaveYou solidarity - even if it's not the same, it's clearly challenging.

OP posts:
Owjrbvr · 23/08/2023 19:46

I used to go to the gym on the way home from work and that helped move work out of my head.
Now I can’t really do that so I spend time reminding myself that what I see is a small part of society and draw on the good experiences. I also try to be conscious of how much I talk about work and try not to very much to keep it out my mind

OddBoots · 23/08/2023 19:50

Do you have any kind of supervision sessions for debrief or any kind of employee assistance phone line?

Flymetothetoon · 23/08/2023 19:50

Just shut it down and don't think about it.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/08/2023 19:52

I’ve had what I think is a really hard day today and now I have had a good dose of the get reals.

thank god for you op and the rest of the women on this thread doing such tough work. I know I couldn’t do it and I’m really in awe of those that do so thank you

IfICantHaveYou · 23/08/2023 20:00

Actually there is a lot of support at work

But that's the problem with it....it's at 'work' in the stark environment!

CantAffordDamnedPearls · 23/08/2023 20:02

I am in sales too

LollipopViolet · 23/08/2023 20:07

Not in the same vein as I'm not public facing but I have to process and read documents that can be pretty heavy and definitely shows me the worst bits of society.

I talk to my team leader about any particularly upsetting situations, and she gave me a really good piece of advice which is to treat it as though I'm reading a book - just gives that tiny bit more distance.

We also have a really good assistance program.

Outside of work I do a sport to a competitive level, so that helps me to clear my head as it's not a sport you can do with other things on your mind. See friends, remind myself that I'm doing my bit to help, and that I'm lucky to not be facing the situations I deal with at work in my personal life.

To all those doing difficult jobs, thank you for what you do.

girlswillbegirls · 23/08/2023 20:25

I cannot advice as my line of work does not involve the worse of society.

Just want to thank all social workers, prison officers, and people in very tough roles so necessary for our society. Big THANK YOU.
I don't know how you do it, fair play to you💐

Babyroobs · 23/08/2023 20:52

Yes I get where you are coming from. I used to work in a hospice and saw a lot of horrible things but did feel able to manage them better then my current role, as I knew that some horrible illnesses are inevitable/ not preventable. However in the role I've just finished it was dealing with drug addicts, alcoholics, extreme poverty, people living in shit conditions etc so was harder to switch off as often there realistically isn't any way out for these people. Most had severe mental health problems exacerbated by their living conditions and it all felt so overwhelming that there wasn't a lot that could be done. It was depressing going into horrible run down housing estates, but worse knowing that people had to live there all the time. My friend works in child protection ( not on the frontline ) and I'm not sure how she copes dealing with some of the things she has to type up reports etc detailing abuse.

Babyroobs · 23/08/2023 20:53

Yes I get where you are coming from. I used to work in a hospice and saw a lot of horrible things but did feel able to manage them better then my current role, as I knew that some horrible illnesses are inevitable/ not preventable and also there was so much positive stuff going on. However in the role I've just finished it was dealing with drug addicts, alcoholics, extreme poverty, people living in shit conditions etc so was harder to switch off as often there realistically isn't any way out for these people. Most had severe mental health problems exacerbated by their living conditions and it all felt so overwhelming that there wasn't a lot that could be done. It was depressing going into horrible run down housing estates, but worse knowing that people had to live there all the time. My friend works in child protection ( not on the frontline ) and I'm not sure how she copes dealing with some of the things she has to type up reports etc detailing abuse.

UndercoverCop · 23/08/2023 20:56

Me too.
Honestly really good relationships with colleagues, a husband who works in an associated field so he gets it, and I've developed a very dark sense of humour.
I do the other things too, go to the gym, change clothes when I come home regardless of what I've been wearing, clinical supervision, I only really watch things on TV that are quite light, although I am very drawn to certain crime documentaries I limit it. But it's the first bit that really makes it ok.

Yajebbend · 23/08/2023 20:56

I hear you I work with people in active addiction. Trauma, neglect plays a big part but today cleaning a room someone had been in for two weeks with hundreds of discarded needles, fags everywhere, burnt walls, tables, toilet that had never been flushed got to me too. Wishing you a chilled night

Spacerace2 · 23/08/2023 20:58

I’ve started a threat tonight about this in
a way - I can’t believe what we pay for as a country when our own can’t eat

TheBeautifulTeapot · 23/08/2023 21:01

I worked with traumatised children who had experience the worst possible things you can imagine.

The gym was incredibly helpful. Walking outside in nature, every day. Having time in the house by myself.

Eventually I burnt out. (My new job is fantastic and I'm thankful every day I made the leap).

Bebabelouba · 23/08/2023 21:09

Thank you to everyone whose posted positively about hard jobs.
I have a hard job already mentioned on this thread and tbh sometimes it really gets me down. It doesn't help that it's a role where the service is far from perfect and the professions is often judged harshly by the press and public.
I think I have 2 choices, to do the best I can and hope that this is positive for the people I'm working with. Or leave.
So thanks again for your kindness.

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