Seeing the worst that society has to offer

[Motivationtoaddress]

I work in a job where I see the very worst of society every single day. Most of the time I can compartmentalise my job so that some of the awful things I see and read don't affect me but for some reason it has got me down today.

If you have an emotionally challenging job, how do you deal with it and leave it at work?

Respect and gratitude to all who do these jobs and face unimaginable things. Puts my bad day at work today so into perspective.

Long term, exit planning and leaving me role (probation) really was the only thing that improved my well-being. Everything else very much felt like a sticking plaster over time.

I used to run and had a walk every day after work to wind down. Gardening was helpful too, I got involved in a project with the WI establishing a community garden, it was nice to create something useful and beautiful. I tried to spend time with friends and family, and listen to comedy podcasts. Stopped for an end of the day treat at Waitrose too often.

I hope you’re okay @Motivationtoaddress.

My not me.

Sorry for the appalling spelling. I’m not sure how long I’ve been awake for now 😂

I work in difficult roles

Outside of work I Foster dogs. It gives me a chance to intensly work on something for good. Whilst it's sometimes upsetting because my dogs can be in a right state when they get to me, but l get to help visibly improve something, and not worry about policies, boundaries and politics!

Inside of work I make sure I go to supervision and the reflective sessions often. Often the times when I least want to go, is when I need it most

I focus on the positives. Even in incredibly sad stories, there is sometimes a glimmer of hope, a determined neighbour who raises the alarm, a sad story being told by someone who finally has found someone to tell for the first time because they trust someone for the first time.

I also believe in what I do. Politically I've had jobs where others tell me my patients shouldn't be treated etc but for me, I believe strongly in my job. I believe in the justice system and feel like I'm part of the right checks and balances that ensure vulnerable people on all sides get what they need. Sometimes I wish it wasn't me that didn't do it, but I feel some one should do my job

I work in child protection and from home which can be quite isolating and also upsetting and stressful.
On bad days I eat.too many biscuits and drink gin in the evening. In a good day I get up before work, walk the dog, try to eat.well.and have a sleep between 1 and 2. Walking and debriefing with friends helps

I cried a great deal, felt guilty about having a decent home when lots of people didn’t but ultimately had to leave for my own well-being. Sorry, that won’t help much.

I work in a role that works with children and families experiencing really difficult times- trauma, neglect, neurodivergence, learning difficulties, poverty, homelessness etc. it is hard and it is difficult not to feel something. I think time doing the job does harden you a bit. You have to compartmentalise otherwise you wouldn't survive. There's maybe one case a month where I think wtf, but mostly it's the same experience from families so I know how to support or signpost. I also lean on colleagues and vent to them.

At home though I try and take that experience and create as loving a home as I can. I appreciate how privileged I am to be in that position.
I also give back by being a governor at a school, a board member in a charity and I do some pro bono work.

I hope this isn’t patronising OP, but from someone who doesn’t have a challenging job (in this way): thank you. Without you, people like me wouldn’t know what to do, where to go, how to go forward. Just, thanks for taking this on. I hope you have someone who can look after you.

Social Housing Officer for 17 years and was totally burnt out from it.
I moved teams, did a secondment, reduced my hours but the only thing that helped was leaving and I would never.go back.

I didn't see the worst of society in my job but some very sad family situations (health related).

I was lucky that I didn't have to rush home straight from work, so after a particularly difficult day I'd go to a lovely tea room in a bookshop, have tea and cake and read a book for an hour and then go home. It sort of made a barrier between work and home.

I also had to accept that I couldn't make everything better; just do the best I could and try to remember that it didn't help anyone if I let the stress invade my home life. I know that's sometimes easier said than done.

Reflective practice

Biggest one: By reminding myself how lucky I was to be able to go home to the life I have rather than the lives I dealt with professionally. It meant my worst days at work became the days I went home and was immensely grateful more so than normal for everything I had.

Other things that helped:
Physical exercise. Running has saved my sanity. Pounding the streets to music is really the only time I can empty my brain of thoughts and just 'be'.

Getting a pet. I just love my dog. And dog walking is a wonderful way of getting back to nature.

Eating a good diet and sleeping well. Not only does this make you feel better anyway, but it also helps you better cope with stress (which is physiological as well as mental).

Having good friends you can offload to.

Having a life outside the job so it doesn't overly become part of your identity.

Hope you feel better soon OP. 💐

If you have an emotionally challenging job, how do you deal with it and leave it at work?

I don't! I get it wrong all the time!!!!!

Drink/eat too much / go healthy/teetotal

Exercise helps

Healthy relationships outside helps. Support inside helps enormously.

Still can't let go

Supervision, talk with colleagues and where possible take a walk even if it’s 10 mins. I used to try and ignore the table of cakes and biscuits in the office as it wasn’t helping. I found the drive home really helpful and a way to shift my perspective. Sometimes in silence and sometimes with the radio on. My favourite was Eddie Mair when he was on pm. Music on some occasions especially Motown and Northern Soul which for me is uplifting.

chatting with colleagues. spirituality and meditation. looking at cat videos online. playing sudoku.

I know not everyone approves but for my team a dose of black humour can be really helpful.

Child Protection here. Discussions with supportive colleagues. Training courses at work. Walking in nature or cinema alone whilst my kids are at school on my day off. Attending a weekly dance/exercise class. Running. Sitting alone in the car on my phone for 5-10 mins before heading into the house. Having an office day and seeing colleagues at least once pw as mainly WFH home since Covid. Reading a book on the tube. Having a full 1 hour lunch break with colleagues outside of the office environment at least once a month where we do not talk about work. Standing in my garden during shorter screen breaks or walking round the block during longer breaks. Sometimes working a longer day day, so I am able to completely switch off from work and totally focus on our kids and family time outside of my working hours. Ensuing I get a decent sleep, esp. the day before heavy meetings and writing reports. Socialising with colleagues after work at least once every few months. Keeping in touch with friends and family. Seeing friends and family. Laughing.