Is there anything more humbling than seeing yourself in the self-checkout camera?

[RitzyMcFitzy]

I sashay out of the house feeling like Margot Robbie and then an hour later catch sight of myself in one of those cameras looking like a bewildered goblin.

I get that theft is clearly a big issue at the self-checkouts, but couldn’t they have considered how detrimental this is to my ego?

Rude.

I jump out of my skin, thinking that my mother is visiting me from beyond the grave, and has chosen to use Sainsbury’s self-checkout as a portal.

Which, to be fair, would probably be her portal of choice. That or TK Maxx.

Our local Tesco has a full length mirror next to the loo. Literally alongside the pan.
I look like a dollop of blancmange when I catch sight of myself, particularly my lard arse.

Based on this, it’s tempting to find out where my nearest Coop is, but what if I go there with high expectations and find out I look as terrifying as I do in the Asda ones?

Whoooo needs a full length visual of themselves doing a 💩?

The world is so uncouth these days.

Sadly I don't have a co-op near me but in my experience the Waitrose ones are the least awful .

Same here. I was looking at some old photos the other day and thought "who is that slim, dark haired woman?" I am now fatter and grey. I hate cameras.😥

A couple of years ago, my laptop's antivirus program offered to show me what a hacker would see if they took control of my device's webcam right there and then...

There was a familiar-looking stout, grey-haired woman sitting in a shabby armchair, surrounded by stacks of books, magazines and general junk. She tilted her head slightly in a very characteristic way and I recognised her instantly and joyfully as my Granny.

Then I remembered my Granny had died in 1980, and the woman on the screen looked as startled by this as I did, and I realised...

This is exactly where my mind goes to 😂My brain creates a full scathing news article out of my mundane life for a sec.

Awful things

I’m relieved to know everyone else looks like a goblin too! It must be the camera lens, surely..?!

No-one should ever see themselves on the toilet 😂So demeaning!

I always stand just to the side so I don't appear on the screen. I don't need to see my huge nose and chin from so close up.

Just found the edit button btw!!!

Morrisons and coop cameras are brutal.
Sainsbury’s seem to have softer lighting.
Aldi don’t have them.

I have never shoplifted in my life, but I look like a shifty shoplisting regular in the self-scan camera. Then again, I look like a dangerous international terrorist in those cameras that match up your photo with your passport in airports.

I do everything possible not to make eye contact with myself… awful things!

The self checkout cameras are the only cameras I look ok on. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing 🤔

Yes! Natwest traumatises me with this on an almost daily basis. Actually considering switching banks just to stop the trauma!
Also always takes ages to work so I'm slow blinking like a gormless loon until it does. Kids look at me like WTF are you doing?

Love this thread @RitzyMcFitzy

If Waitrose ones are the most flattering then I need to get my act together, but at least I know what I’d look like if I end up on 24 Hours in Police Custody 😂

I bought something yesterday which required me to be of age. Supermarket assistant barely looked me up and down before hitting do not challenge on the screen 😅They could at least um and ahh’d over it for a bit!

We have an edit button?! See what happens when I bugger off to reddit for few weeks!

Oh, absolutely! The number of times I've thought, Who IS that grey woman? Why is her skin several sizes too big? I always look so irritated, too. Another gobin here. Maybe that's it - we're in the Matrix and the goblins have taken over!

Our local co-op one is awful. Well, it is for me. Very envious of PP who looks fab in theirs, I'd be in there all the time for the ego boost!

Same! Although Asda seems to be a recurrent theme.

Which is a shame because I go there specifically for their delightful and reasonably priced BBQ ribs, not to be reminded of how many chins I have collected.

What's the collective noun for chins?

I’ve also noticed Asda is definitely the worst. The chins and the hairline Omg. It is depressing.

Maybe it’s the angle of the Asda camera that accentuates the chins.