What's the worst gift you e ever had?

[kwetu]

I've got a couple of examples, for our 20th wedding anniversary my husband bought me a toilet brush (admittedly it was one that I'd been seeking for a while, but really!).
Many years ago I was in hospital (gallstones) and my get well gift was a massive book of 1001 recipe ideas, I tried not to take offence but once again....really?
Would love to hear of anyone else's gift fails.
Lighthearted.

A gorgeous gold necklace and jewellery set from my ex.

It was stunning. Really. It's just: I don't wear jewellery, and he knew that. It was clearly more of an "why don't you be more like what I'd like you to be" gift than something he genuinely thought would make me happy.

A scarf and a cher single on cd

My mum for my 40th bought me some Oil of Olay anti-aging cream and a pack of 4 thongs. Size 10 thongs. I have never worn a thong in my life and I certainly wasn't a size 10. Even sewn together they wouldn't have made one "proper" pair of pants :-)

@ItLooksLikeChickenSoItMustBeChicken

TBF, a candle snuffer is a wondrous thing. It stops soot marks and candle wax spoiling the surroundings, and it helps to keep thé which straight so it can be relit.

we have two…..

A book at Christmas from a friend...'How To Be Happy'

I was so insulted, what a cow

Leaving present from exjob. An apron (I don't wear aprons) with some duff slogan about strong women (I don't wear clothing with slogans) plus a collection of historic articles from a paper I've never read. Look, if you couldn't be arsed then don't bother; I already knew your attitude to me from lockdown, that just reinforced I was right.

Two really cheap bottles of wine (think nasty student plonk) for our wedding from my brother and his awful wife. It'll have been her that bought them. She was utterly vile to me on my wedding day and I never bothered seeing them again after that. They deserve each other.

When I was a teenager my dad forgot so he went to a petrol station and bought me a mini football and a copy of Q Magazine. I didn't mind but I pointed out that they actually also sell booze and chocolate in petrol stations.

Frying pan, from DH. To make matters worse it was in a big exciting looking box and I left it till last 😞

A bookmark, with the origin explanation for a surname. Not my surname, nor that of anyone in the office (workplace Secret Santa gift).

A book of WWII recipes from DH

I got a tea strainer for christmas one year from MIL!! everyone used tea bags but in my house no one drank tea and neither did she!!!

A really blingy, massive, diamanté and ‘silver’ bug brooch from my MIL. Possibly a bee, or a scarab with legs and diamanté abdomen. 🪲It was in a nice looking jewellery box, so I was expecting some earrings or a bracelet or something. It was such a surprise that ‘good grief’ escaped my lips, but I think I got away with it. 😉

A close friend was excitedly telling me in the run up to my birthday that I would love my present, that she couldn’t wait for me to have it etc. It was a plastic water can with like a pressurised tube and a brush attached. The idea being you can scrub off your muddy shoes or your dog before they get into the car. She said it was for my muddy pram wheels.

I kinda thought it was a joke present at first then realised she was deadly serious. It went in the garage and I never used it once.

Oh and another couple I remembered.

my Nan bought me a pack of padded coat hangers as a child. Twice in fact. Around the ages of 10/11. obviously I said thank you politely!

Hubby always tries but has bought me some weird things in the past. Most recently for my birthday he bought me a facial sauna / steamer thing. I think the idea is to put your face on it to open your pores? Idk. I stashed it at the back of the cupboard.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, a work colleague gave me three pull ups. They were in a pretty gift bag, just loose. She had a toddler at the time so I guess they were spare!

Hand cream

My mum once bought me those beige leggings that look like you are wearing nothing on the bottom half 😅 safe to say I didn't wear them

My fella told me he had bought me a suprise turns out it was a eye roller cream for tires eyes 🤣🤣

A wicker fruit bowl. I was 14.

My worst was a pair of hideous, cheap nordic style socks and a "grow your own crystal tree" kit from a soon to be ex-boyfriend, for Christmas. He obviously knew I was soon to an ex as he dumped me the day after Christmas, which was the earliest opportunity he had to get his cock into his new girlfriend.
My poor mother had years of terrible presents from my Dad. The saucepan set that he bought her one by one for Christmas, birthdays and wedding anniversaries over a 2 year period, hotly followed by towel bales and a set of cook's knives also bought in stages.

I got a traycloth from my mil the first Xmas I was going out with DH. I didn't even own a tray at the time!

Floral tea towels from the MIL. It felt like a statement and I am still plotting my sweet revenge 5 years later.

A Filofax. And a briefcase.

I live on a farm.

My father bought a job lot of both in about 1989 and dealt them out as thoughtful gifts for fucking years.

Dh used to be awful at buying presents he has got so much better these days
car mats for Christmas I had just passed my test the month before and bought my first car but still
katie price autobiography I have no interest in her
One year when dd got older he decided she would help him get my presents he left it til Christmas Eve and despite me saying the shops shut early- I worked in retail myself at the time he insisted they would go shopping after dd finished work only sainsburys was still open so I got a Baylis and Harding set a snood and a pair of size 5 slippers when I am a 3