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Original poster

Tips for hosting family for the first time

31 replies

HangingOver · 21/08/2023 17:59

This might sound mad but due to always living in London house shares and then me and DP having lodgers, we've never hosted family in our house before. I'm suddenly feeling a bit apprehensive and noticing all the DIY that's never got done and how our towels arent that nice. And I think I need more forks.

Some people on MN seem to have a rotten time staying with family, so give me your top tips for a good family stay. They're coming a long way so I want to make them feel happy and welcome. It's DB and SIL, DNephew(5) and Baby (3m). DF staying in nearby hotel.

I think we'll go out for dinner one night and I'll probably cook or at least offer 1 - 2 nights (I'm vegan, no one else is so I wouldn't want them to have to eat my food for the whole trip) and the others I guess we'll make separate food together.

What do you do to prepare for guests?

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 21/08/2023 18:04

If you’re not sure you’ve got enough forks, count them before they arrive!

how long are they staying for?

whiteorchids44 · 21/08/2023 18:30

My family lives abroad and they come over to visit every Christmas.

I leave guest towels and water bottles in their rooms. I also make sure to clear up some shelf and drawer space in the room as well as the bathroom.

I always check for food allergies just in case and stock their favourite snacks in the house. I would check with SIL about food for the kids, what to keep on hand. Or send them a link to a nearby supermarket so they can have an idea of when they need, especially if they are travelling from a different country.

I would check and see what they tend to have for breakfast and set up a DIY breakfast area so they can help themselves. I would also buy some sandwich fillings and extra bread in case they need to sort out lunch and can help themselves.

I would freeze a lasagne or a cottage pie, in case you want to serve it for dinner so it frees up some time.

If they plan on visiting often it might be worthwhile to either borrow or buy a travel cot as well as get a few toys like blocks, cars, books that they can play with during each visit. Ikea has really reasonable ones.

Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 19:08

A brekkie area is a great idea! I bake bread nearly every day but will get in peanut butter, Jam, Vegemite etc. in. There's always plenty of tea and coffee but will get moo milk and juice too.

I've just checked all the sheets I can find and they all seem to have unshiftable ancient coffee stains on them.

Think I'll buy a new set and wash and iron them. Assuming I can find the iron.

Excited!

OP posts:
whiteorchids44 · 21/08/2023 19:12

I'm sure your family will appreciate everything you are doing for their stay. Enjoy your time with them!

Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2023 19:16

Definitely provide a stack of towels and flannels for their room. I always put together a small hamper with soap, shampoo and conditioner, water bottles, and other basic toiletries they might need. I also make sure to tell them straight away to please help themselves to anything they might need/want to eat or drink in the kitchen.

ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 21/08/2023 19:18

We put a mini fridge in their room with water, juice, milk and wine. And a tray with a kettle, cup, saucers, etc. Plus some biscuits, sweets, etc. It just means if they want some time on their own, they can make a cup of tea in their room and don't feel they have to interact if they don't want to.
Also leave out clean towels, new shower gel, etc in their room.
I usually cook before they arrive eg a pot of soup, and a curry or traybake that can just be heated up so I don't have to spend lots of time cooking on the first night.
With wee ones, then I'll look out some books or games or make a little mini gift bag for them.

ShadowPuppets · 21/08/2023 19:20

Oh it’s lovely hosting for the first time! I felt like a real grown up.

Where will they be sleeping? With kids of that age they’ll probably be up at an unholy hour so I’d leave the living space all set up so they can do their own thing at 6am, they’ll feel guilty if you get up with them. Make sure they know how to work the TV before you turn in on the first night! And make sure they’re connected to the Wi-Fi.

Otherwise it’s just bedding and plenty of food!

Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 19:22

We put a mini fridge in their room with water, juice, milk and wine. And a tray with a kettle, cup, saucers, etc. Plus some biscuits, sweets, etc. It just means if they want some time on their own, they can make a cup of tea in their room and don't feel they have to interact if they don't want to

Can I come and stay at yours? 😁

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 21/08/2023 19:27

I found it really stressful visiting with small children. They rarely sleep well in exciting sleeping arrangements.
Definitely ask what they would like for brekkie for example my little ones had weetabix or toast and I took some weetabix. Took ages for my MIL to stock ketchup and squash and I know kids can go without or drink water blah blah but it just made it easier for me.
Also I was often sat alone in the lounge at 5am with the baby and I it was cold, maybe a few scatter blankets.
Depends what you can afford, don't go mad buying new stuff.
Also I'm sure your homemade bread is delicious but a 5 year old might want toasted crap white bread just thinking about mine anyway.

Forestdweller11 · 21/08/2023 19:35

Think as well I'd be saying that they could get up and potter about and help themselves to food/make tea and not to worry too much about waking you up (esp with 3 month old) . But if you dont want for instance the telly on before 6.30 tell them.
Tell them if you have some deadline like needing to be out of the house at 8 which means you need to be in the loo at 7.30... so they aren't sat in there holding you up.

Move anything precious out of reach of DN!

Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 20:07

These are all great ideas 😁

OP posts:
msmatcha · 21/08/2023 20:10

A little radio or Alexa in their room and a chalkboard with the WiFi code. And some favourite old books. Oh and tissues!

Careerdilemma · 21/08/2023 20:17

I think it is usual to cook for guests every night if you are eating at home and not getting takeaway, so if you are thinking they will cook some meals I would drop it in to conversation in advance.

I would ask them whether there is anything in particular you can get in for the kids.

rookiemere · 21/08/2023 20:59

Have the conversation about night time loo visits - if you are a flush or non flush household.

Let them know what to do with nappies - sounds obvious but they may not know where to put rubbish outside.

Toddlers tend to be quite light sensitive so it's good to have curtains that block out the light, or they could tack up a bin bag if this is a big thing for them.

I don't expect new bedding - clean is absolutely fine. But if you aren't planning to make up the bed, try not to give your guests the most revolting yellow pillows ever and dirty mattress. Sorry I may be projecting there Blush.

I'm sure your guests will have a great time, with a baby that young I assume they will be tired, so make them feel at home to say if they want to go to bed.

passedthetest · 21/08/2023 21:03

A nicely made up bed and sometimes I leave a little treat basket too with travel shower gel/toothpaste and some bottled water.

Defo towels on the bed or a towel rail. If the room is normally unoccupied, check there's hangers in the wardrobe.

To save you have to cater for every meal, tell them to help themselves to breakfast and leave out things like cereals/bread/crockery etc.

Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 22:34

They have form for bringing twelve of absolutely everything when we've been on holiday but I think a new bar of nice soap and their own shampoo and conditioners in their shower is a good idea just in case.

The mattress is really new and nice... I might just get a nice new base sheet and use my lovely patterned ones for duvet.

Yes to big fluffy blankets in the living room for if SIL gets up to feed in the night.

And an extension cord in their room so they can both charge devices at night.

I'm going to have to fudge the 5 y.os room a little bit as it's normally my study - I'll have to think of some ways to make it cosy for him!

OP posts:
Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 22:35

I think it is usual to cook for guests every night if you are eating at home and not getting takeaway, so if you are thinking they will cook some meals I would drop it in to conversation in advance

I'd be happy to but they won't realistically want to eat vegan every night so I think we'll all be pitching in together on the cooking front like when I visit them.

OP posts:
letmesailletmesail · 21/08/2023 23:05

With a baby that young, I think the most important thing to think about is nappies (where will the baby be changed and where will dirty ones go) and the most important thing to realise is that the baby will be on a 24 hour schedule so there will be lots of noise during the night whether it's the baby crying or someone going up or downstairs or possibly watching something on TV.
So, what can you do to make the baby happy?
Then what can you do to make the 5yo happy? When do they have breakfast & what do they eat? Same for lunch and for tea. Do they have snacks? Do you have any toys? If not, can you borrow some from a friend or neighbour. Do you have a garden? If so, get a football or something. Actually, is your garden kid friendly? 5yros aren't going to have accidents in the same way that a toddler would but does the gate shut securely? Are there any loose steps or anything? You might not be able to repair them but at least make the parents aware.
Also, do a check of your house. Where do you keep the bleach? Any medication? Do you have blind cords which hang down loosely? Again, not so much of an issue with a 5yo but do you have lots of china figurines or pot pourri or similar at an easily accessible height as my MIL does.

Pancakebatter · 21/08/2023 23:14

HangingOver · 21/08/2023 19:22

We put a mini fridge in their room with water, juice, milk and wine. And a tray with a kettle, cup, saucers, etc. Plus some biscuits, sweets, etc. It just means if they want some time on their own, they can make a cup of tea in their room and don't feel they have to interact if they don't want to

Can I come and stay at yours? 😁

Me too!

SM4713 · 21/08/2023 23:20

Will they have their own bedroom/s? Is there a TV in there? I'd make it clear that if they'd prefer to watch TV in their room in the evening then that is fine. If they'd prefer to stay in the lounge with you- that is also fine. Some people find it awkward to say they'd just like to head to bed, strip off bra etc and relax in their bedroom to watch the TV there.

Are they visiting in the next month or so? I'd get a fan for the room. Nothing worse than being hot and stuffy in someones house.

Blackout curtains are a must!

TBH- I'm not sure about providing all the mini shampoos/soaps etc. I stayed at someones house who had a basket of things. I just felt like I was staying in a hotel and I felt rather awkward. Not sure why, it just seemed odd. When the arrive, just ask if they need any shampoo/toothpaste etc. I personally don't leave mini bottles just because someone is staying.

Original poster
HangingOver · 21/08/2023 23:25

Dumbass childless auntie question incoming... Do nappies normally just go into a binbag in the outside bin? I'm not sure this house has ever had an infant in it for more than ten minutes before.

So, what can you do to make the baby happy?

My plan is to give him his bottles, change his bum and cuddle him lots and tell him how cute he is.

OP posts:
ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 22/08/2023 07:42

HangingOver · 21/08/2023 19:22

We put a mini fridge in their room with water, juice, milk and wine. And a tray with a kettle, cup, saucers, etc. Plus some biscuits, sweets, etc. It just means if they want some time on their own, they can make a cup of tea in their room and don't feel they have to interact if they don't want to

Can I come and stay at yours? 😁

Yy of course you can! I absolutely love having people to stay 😄

Bananasplitlady · 22/08/2023 07:55

This is close family coming to stay in your house for a bit, you don't need to go OTT. Make sure the house is clean and tidy but don't break yourself trying to make it perfect. Unless hostessing is going to be your future career, draw your own boundaries now about what you want/will do. If you buy mini fridges and chalk boards and rewire the spare room for a light show on visit one, you'll be doing it forever more. Be welcoming, have a clean bathroom, a well stocked fridge and tell them to help themselves then try and relax.

SummerInSun · 22/08/2023 12:42

HangingOver · 21/08/2023 23:25

Dumbass childless auntie question incoming... Do nappies normally just go into a binbag in the outside bin? I'm not sure this house has ever had an infant in it for more than ten minutes before.

So, what can you do to make the baby happy?

My plan is to give him his bottles, change his bum and cuddle him lots and tell him how cute he is.

Personally we always put nappies in the kitchen bin and emptied it at the end of the day. You don't want your poor guests to feel they have to go outside to the main bin every time that have a nappy with a dribble of a 3 month old's wee on it. You can buy dedicated nappy bins that tie up the plastic bag for you, but I wouldn't bother as they are a bit of a gimmick.

With the 5 year old you shouldn't need to baby proof as such, but if you have anything delicate, breakable, or very precious to you either put it on a high shelf or pack it away.

You could probably get a bunch of books the 5 year old might like very cheaply at a local charity shop or of course from a library if you are a member of one. Always used to drive me mental having to read my DC the same 5 books I could fit in my luggage over and over again on holiday.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 22/08/2023 12:50

If the plan is for them to get their own non-vegan food in, maybe clear a shelf at the bottom of the fridge / half a cupboard so they can easily keep meat, dairy etc separate from your stuff?