Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How often do you see your nieces and nephews?

59 replies

dooberydah · 21/08/2023 17:28

I’ve only met mine a couple of times and feel so sad about it. Granted they aren’t yet one.
I’m just wondering how often most people see theirs. A colleague sees hers several times a week!

OP posts:
letmesailletmesail · 21/08/2023 22:12

So many variables here! One of my neighbours has her sister living around the corner and they share school runs and things so see their nieces every day and sometimes say they feel bad that they don't see their other nieces daily as they live at the other end of the village and may not bump into them at drop off or pick up.
Meanwhile, our closest sibling is 4 hours away and neither he nor the other siblings seem that interested in our DC (the only DC on either side of the family) so we only catch up two or three times a year

spermwhale · 21/08/2023 22:14

Few times a year, keep up with them regularly online but we are all adults with kids/jobs and live about an hour away from eachother and I don't drive

MymateDave · 21/08/2023 22:18

I was always very close to my niece when she was growing up. I knew she would be my only niece so I made a lot of effort. Sleep overs and days out. Even a little trip swimming I took her with us. She’s an adult now and only lives across the road so always in and out. My sister how ever has no interest in my children.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
AutumnIsMyFriend · 21/08/2023 22:23

I have seven in my side and five on DH’s side, all adults now, and there nearly a dozen great nieces and nephews.

Geography limits some contact, but on DH’s side thr contact lessened when we lost the “glue” - that is, when his parents died we stopped meeting up at the grandparents’ house at weekends and the connections just got more and more distant.

Abouttimemum · 21/08/2023 22:26

When my older nephews were little we saw them most weeks and they stayed with DH and I one weekend a month (when we didn’t have kids) They’re late teens now and we’re all really close.

I have a younger nephew we see most weeks and this is usually out and about somewhere with DS.

On DH side we rarely see his nieces and nephews, it’s an odd family set up but no falling out, they just aren’t close at all. We send gifts and money for birthdays and Xmas etc and message regularly.

DeadButDelicious · 21/08/2023 22:41

My niece (my brothers daughter) I see about once a week, definitely several times a month. My brother will take my DD out as well. My nephews (SIL's kids) I don't see as much. Maybe once every couple of months, the boys are in wrap around care after school and do lots of after school clubs etc so unless it's the holidays we just don't see them as they are busy.

In all honesty my family are a lot closer than DH's, they get on don't get me wrong but there is a bit of childhood stuff between DH and his parents and sister and there is definitely some distance. They can go a fair old while without seeing each other whereas my family see each other much more regularly.

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 21/08/2023 23:02

DH side - more than once a week. My kids have 5 cousins. I'm NC with my siblings and I think I've got one DN on that side. I'll never see him though!

Pancakebatter · 21/08/2023 23:06

Once every year or two years. I don’t have any real relationship with them sadly.

CrazyFrogDingDing · 21/08/2023 23:06

Never. Have got several, all adults now and I wouldn't know them if they walked into the room right now.
Some of them I've never, ever clapped eyes on, not even as babies.

MrsR87 · 21/08/2023 23:07

When we all lived in the same area it was most weeks. Now there’s between 2-4 hours between the various siblings so it’s usually 2-3 times a year.

TroysMammy · 21/08/2023 23:09

During term time minimum once a week, maximum 3 times a week. She now stays over ocassionally. As her Mum, my sister works in a school I don't see her much during school holidays.

OilOfRoses · 21/08/2023 23:11

Never. They're in a different country. I don't worry about it as I never knew my aunts and uncles.

ShippingNews · 21/08/2023 23:16

They are adults now, but hardly ever, all their lives. My ex was in the army so we moved around a lot, and then both my sisters went to live in different cities from our parents. So visiting was infrequent. We all got along , but just didn't see each other. These days we follow each other on social media but that's about it.

APurpleSquirrel · 21/08/2023 23:19

3-4 times a year in person. They (DB, SIL & DN) live several hours away from us. But we do try & do at least 1-2 trips up to them for a few days, they come & see us usually once a year & we do a family holiday together for a week too.
I'd love to see them all more & wish they were closer.

MrsAvocet · 21/08/2023 23:19

Rarely. They are all grown up now and are scattered all over the country. When my sister's children were little I lived fairly close and saw them at least once every few weeks but my brother has lived a long way away for decades so I saw far less of his children.
One of DH's siblings still lives quite close to his parents so we see their kids a bit more often,a few times a year, but I think I have met his other sibling's children less than 10 times in their lives and the eldest is nearly 30 now.
I didn't see much of my own aunts and uncles growing up though as my parents moved away from their home town before I was born so it doesn't seem particularly unusual to me.

Pancakebatter · 21/08/2023 23:19

CrazyFrogDingDing · 21/08/2023 23:06

Never. Have got several, all adults now and I wouldn't know them if they walked into the room right now.
Some of them I've never, ever clapped eyes on, not even as babies.

That’s really sad.

VeridicalVagabond · 21/08/2023 23:20

I have 12 neices/nephews, soon to be 13. Some I see regularly, some less frequently because they live further away. I'd say the closer ones I see every week or so, the further away ones once or twice a month.

One practically lives with us as her and my DD are best friends and joined at the hip. I think she's actually forgotten she has a bloody house of her own.

Runnerinthenight · 21/08/2023 23:21

Teenage twin nephews who I don't know at all because my sister has distanced herself from the rest of the family for no discernible reason. Has casually left me and other sibling to look out for other sibling with special needs. I probably wouldn't recognise the boys if I met them, and they live literally 5 minutes away.

Nephew on DH's side - very little contact and his mother hasn't showed one bit of interest in our kids. Wouldn't know him if I fell over him!

Youngest sibling - our kids are pretty close despite being very different.

LightDrizzle · 21/08/2023 23:26

Other people’s frequency doesn’t give you much insight into your own situation as there will be a huge range of circumstances.

I would guess that proximity in terms of distance and the closeness of the relationship with the parents prior to children are the main determinants.

Someone who isn’t close to you before children is even less likely to want to prioritise you when they are juggling work, children, other family, friends and their children’s new friends. Some grandparents for example struggle with this, having made little effort at an adult relationship with their child and his/her partner, they are upset when they aren’t welcome daily to hang out with the delicious newborn baby and it’s knackered parents.

When the relationship has been stilted at the parents end then it is sad for you, but you can’t do more than you do. Being pushy won’t help. It’s a shame.

icebearforpresident · 21/08/2023 23:44

3 or 4 times a week usually but I live a few streets away from my sister in law & her husband and, crucially, we all have a good relationship.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 21/08/2023 23:45

Rarely ever, really. I generally only see them if I'm with my siblings. They're either adults or really young children; none are the same age as mine.

greyhairnomore · 22/08/2023 08:10

I have one of each , I've always tried to see them once a week.

Coronationstation · 22/08/2023 08:27

They live over 200 miles away and are of school age (so less opportunity for long weekends away like when they were tiny) so next week will be the 2nd time I'll have seen them (and my parents) since new year. If they lived round the corner I'd probably see them a lot more but it's not really feasible when everyone works and has school and activity commitments and you live 4 hours away.

notacooldad · 22/08/2023 08:29

I usually see them in the pub, at quiz nights or at my Dh work ace tinkering g with cars!

Neverseenbefore · 22/08/2023 08:31

Hardly ever. They live hundreds of miles away.