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Original poster

So what happens when we're all old and we don't own our homes?

514 replies

user8665410 · 20/08/2023 09:31

Genuine question.

I'm a millennial with no hopes of ever buying a property despite earning a decent income.

There are many in my situation.

What happens when we're all in our 70s, 80s and 90s - which we will be because medical technology keeps letting us live longer - and no longer able to work. Where will we live? Who will support us? Will we just get kicked out of our homes we've been renting for (potentially) decades??

My current rent is £2,585.00, the State won't be supporting that I'm sure.

OP posts:
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Nerdymummy · 20/08/2023 11:54

My parents have both passed retirement age and both working. I think this will happen to alot of people, they cannot afford to stop working. I grew up with grandparents living with us and I wonder if this will be a thing that happens more

AcesBaseballbat · 20/08/2023 11:55

Iwasafool · 20/08/2023 11:50

Plenty of millennials are buying houses. Two of my kids are millenials and own their own houses, all their friends with one exception own their own houses.

What socioeconomic background are they from?

And people saying "if you can afford £2k+ in rent you can afford to buy" - first it's very weird to assume that someone paying £2.5k must be earning more than £100k. Sure, some might, but that's more than three times their annual rent.

Most people I know, the majority of their income goes on rent. I don't know why anyone would assume that renters must be earning pots and pots of money to the point less than a third of their income goes on rent.

Second, lots of people struggle to get mortgages. I have £90k saved for a deposit but it doesn't do me any good since I can't get a mortgage.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 11:55

Iwasafool · 20/08/2023 11:50

Plenty of millennials are buying houses. Two of my kids are millenials and own their own houses, all their friends with one exception own their own houses.

That doesn't seem to be a popular observation. You must be in the same bubble I am with millennial home owners.

PuckyMup · 20/08/2023 11:56

ilovesooty · 20/08/2023 11:39

I suspect euthanasia will be legalised before too long.

Not for humane reasons, but to lower the social care bill.

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I genuinely wonder if this is why Jersey has been talking about it

AcesBaseballbat · 20/08/2023 11:57

Iwasafool · 20/08/2023 11:50

Plenty of millennials are buying houses. Two of my kids are millenials and own their own houses, all their friends with one exception own their own houses.

And did you give them any help to buy (not necessarily financial help, but things like letting them live with you rent-free or for cheap rent once above the age of 18)?

I personally don't know a single person my age who bought a house without relying on the bank of mum and dad. The huge divide of my generation is between those from privilege and those not.

frippu · 20/08/2023 11:57

And people saying "if you can afford £2k+ in rent you can afford to buy" - first it's very weird to assume that someone paying £2.5k must be earning more than £100k. Sure, some might, but that's more than three times their annual rent.

And the biggest issue with owning is the size of the deposit needed.

velvetandsatin · 20/08/2023 11:58

notahappybunny7 · 20/08/2023 11:44

Why is Mumsnet so obsessed with paying for care! Not every elderly person needs it!

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Exactly. Only 4-5% end up in care homes.

Hedjwitch · 20/08/2023 11:58

2 of my 3 adult children still live at home as cant afford to move out. I have no idea how they will manage to get their own places.

AldiPaldi · 20/08/2023 12:00

Agreed. I've never known anyone sell their home to pay care fees.

@HarrietJet so you're lucky then - several people in my family have had to.

TeenLifeMum · 20/08/2023 12:00

Are you a young millennial? I’m a millennial and I, and all my friends, own their homes, cars and have nice holidays. I’m not saying it’s not an issue but I think every generation has a proportion of renters. There’s an issue re buying for current 20-30s but aren’t most millennials 30-40? The age of the lowest interest rates ever known?

i guess it’s about what priorities you made and the sacrifices you’re willing to make to be a home owner (not talking about current generation but pre 2020). We moved to an affordable area because house ownership was important to us above working in London. We bought a tiny house and moved up the ladder.

currently it’s really rubbish for first time buyers so I’m not dismissing the issue, I’m just not convinced us millennials haven’t had opportunities (in terms of our generation and obviously there will be the proportion of renters still).

frippu · 20/08/2023 12:00

I personally don't know a single person my age who bought a house without relying on the bank of mum and dad. The huge divide of my generation is between those from privilege and those not.

I agree with this. Yes I'm in a London bubble but everyone I know lived at home cheaply or free to save & then many had additional help. Amongst others I met many had even more help to move up the ladder & I'm talking huge significant help. Both my friend & sibling sold their flat to parents buying for their dc, the demographics have completely changed

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:00

AcesBaseballbat · 20/08/2023 11:57

And did you give them any help to buy (not necessarily financial help, but things like letting them live with you rent-free or for cheap rent once above the age of 18)?

I personally don't know a single person my age who bought a house without relying on the bank of mum and dad. The huge divide of my generation is between those from privilege and those not.

Show quote history

Mine only get to live rent free while they are in full time education.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:01

frippu · 20/08/2023 11:57

And people saying "if you can afford £2k+ in rent you can afford to buy" - first it's very weird to assume that someone paying £2.5k must be earning more than £100k. Sure, some might, but that's more than three times their annual rent.

And the biggest issue with owning is the size of the deposit needed.

Yes. We'd have been able to buy years earlier if the deposit hadn't been the barrier. The mortgage was about the same payment as rent so it was so frustrating.

peasblue · 20/08/2023 12:01

And did you give them any help to buy (not necessarily financial help, but things like letting them live with you rent-free or for cheap rent once above the age of 18)?

As an older millennial living in cheap areas most people I knew were able to rent and then buy (I don't know everyone's personal situation but we were all pretty working class and I'd be surprised if many had help with deposits), but I saw rents in my town the other day and was shocked at how high they were. I moved out after uni and paid £500 a month for a 3 bed semi (early 2010s) I'd be paying over £1000 for that now. Rent seems to have rocketed, more so than house prices where I am. So again I think it is hard to generalise across millennials as a group.

frippu · 20/08/2023 12:01

@velvetandsatin but care isn't just care homes?

ChoccyBickies · 20/08/2023 12:04

@user8665410 You need to move out of London.

Simple as that.

Even factoring in a train fare, you could afford to buy something in the commuter belt, perhaps 30-40 miles out of London.

OR you need somehow to improve your earning power.

TeenLifeMum · 20/08/2023 12:04

@HarrietJet my grandmother died last week but 2 years ago we had to sell her home to pay for care costing £2100 per week. She was devastated because she wanted the family to inherit and benefit from her and my granddad’s hard work. We had to remind her she was alive and the priority was her final years being as pleasant as possible. Emptying her home while she was still alive felt so wrong.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:05

velvetandsatin · 20/08/2023 11:58

Exactly. Only 4-5% end up in care homes.

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Care can be medical care, assistance in the home, equipping the home with things that help people who are not fully mobile or able to do what they used to do. None of that is necessarily cheap.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/08/2023 12:06

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:05

Care can be medical care, assistance in the home, equipping the home with things that help people who are not fully mobile or able to do what they used to do. None of that is necessarily cheap.

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But people can't be selling their homes to get that because then it wouldn't be care in the home.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:06

TeenLifeMum · 20/08/2023 12:04

@HarrietJet my grandmother died last week but 2 years ago we had to sell her home to pay for care costing £2100 per week. She was devastated because she wanted the family to inherit and benefit from her and my granddad’s hard work. We had to remind her she was alive and the priority was her final years being as pleasant as possible. Emptying her home while she was still alive felt so wrong.

My FIL is preparing his home for sale right now. It's sad but necessary. I'm sure there will be a young family who will be happy with it though.

Tinysoxx · 20/08/2023 12:07

HarrietJet · 20/08/2023 11:49

Agreed. I've never known anyone sell their home to pay care fees.

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Neither had I until a few years ago. Now several. Nursing care is over £1000 per week until savings are down to very low amounts. I know someone expecting to inherit a house was left with £6000 after all the funeral and admin was sorted out for their parent with long term dementia care.
I think there are new plans in place so that the minimum left will be £20,000 soon.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:07

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/08/2023 12:06

But people can't be selling their homes to get that because then it wouldn't be care in the home.

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Downsizing? Buy a cheaper smaller home and use the balance to pay for care.

AcesBaseballbat · 20/08/2023 12:07

I've been paying private rent since I was just turned 17. (Had a guarantor, but still had to make sure the rent was paid every month.)

People saying "OMG why don't you just leave your entire life and all your family and friends and move elsewhere??" - would you really suggest a 17yr old drop out of school and leave her entire social network to rock up in some random place, and then what... just cross her fingers and hope to find a cheap flat to rent, a non-London job that magically pays for it, and a new school place?

In reality, once people have homes and jobs and lives, it often takes an external impetus (like a job offer) to make such a massive change. Most people aren't going to just wake up one morning and torpedo their entire life, especially if they're already struggling. And moving is extremely expensive!

The reality is this is about comfortable middle class people choosing to judge people who don't come from privileged backgrounds by sneering and pretending it's all our own fault, that we could easily afford houses if we'd stop being so precious and just move. I'm amazed the "stop drinking Starbucks and you'd easily be able to afford a house" crowd haven't descended.

OilOfRoses · 20/08/2023 12:09

People saying "OMG why don't you just leave your entire life and all your family and friends and move elsewhere??" - would you really suggest a 17yr old drop out of school and leave her entire social network to rock up in some random place, and then what... just cross her fingers and hope to find a cheap flat to rent, a non-London job that magically pays for it, and a new school place?

This is actually exactly what I did the month I turned 20. With a baby in tow (and a partner to help out, because that made it easier).

BungleandGeorge · 20/08/2023 12:09

I can see it’s a massive problem for some people who won’t inherit anything. However I struggle to see why it is for someone who pays 2.5k in rent a month. That’s more than enough to buy a 2 bedroom property in large parts of the country. You then have 1k to run a car/ get a train to work etc. people have always had to compromise about where they live when they have children and the majority of people I know also downsize on retirement to free up equity. It’s a myth that most of us can have it all