Impossible to wake husband without him being shocked if napping

[Dowtcha]

No matter what technique I use, my DH wakes up startled and shocked if I wake him from a nap. Often gives me a shock as a result as he may shout out. Obviously I only wake him if necessary. Anyone else experience this?

@MillWood85 that's an awful sleep pattern. If he lays off the naps that would get him into a normal pattern.

I'm jealous of anyone who can nap. Sorry ... irrelevant😅

I have a friend with a heart condition. One of the symptoms that led to her diagnosis was when someone woke her up she would have a seizure.

It's a survival mechanism. People are at their most vulnerable when they are asleep, so the body perceives being woken up as a potential attack. It's why some dogs bite when they're touched in their sleep, and why babies panic in fear if you wake them.

What’s he like with his alarm clock? If he’s fine with that, then I’d suggest his response to you waking him is a deliberate ploy to train you not to disturb his napping 😂 Get the same alarm noise, set it to come on in 2 minutes, place next to him and leave the room.

Really interesting to hear so many similar stories. (I'm just ignoring all the comments about napping, irrelevant and judgy.) Now that I think about it, he can be like that if I accidently wake him off he goes to sleep before me, so it's something about stage of the sleep cycle I think. I like the theory that it's a survival mechanism, but what about all of us who don't have it? Wolf fodder?

God the dramatics on this thread.

As someone said upthread, it's like the performance sneeze.

I certainly wouldn't be waking a grown man from his "nap". Perhaps he needs to get to bed earlier?

Why are you waking him?

My husband is the same if I wake him by any method, reacts as if I’m about to murder him.

his mum says he has been the same since a child.

Pretty much. It's also why we have people termed Night Owls and Larks - the night owls alert until around 2.30-3am, the Larks then taking over.

No judgement about napping - I’m a big fan of a daytime nap when I can- but I’d just stop waking him up if I were you, OP.

if he misses a meal, ends up sleeping for hours on the sofa due to evening napping, misses out on a family excursion because he is napping -for the love of God just leave him and crack on with your day.

He’s a grown adult. Let him nap and wake naturally. If he whinges about said missed meal/trip/work call or whatever, just explain that his behaviour is always horrible and unsettling when you wake him, so you’ve decided not to wake him any more.

Let him take responsibility for his own sleep patterns OP. He’s not a child and you’re not his mum.