Impossible to wake husband without him being shocked if napping

[Dowtcha]

No matter what technique I use, my DH wakes up startled and shocked if I wake him from a nap. Often gives me a shock as a result as he may shout out. Obviously I only wake him if necessary. Anyone else experience this?

Omg mine does too!!!

Love this thread!

Mine does it too. Irritated the crap out of me initially, now I just ignore it. It’s involuntary on his behalf.

I do it sometimes…I wake up with a gasp or a jump. No reason for it, being suddenly woken just gives me an uncontrollable fright.

My mum is the same and my siblings and I used to mock her for it…but now I do it!

Why are people so keen to wake people up let them enjoy their nap they will wake naturally when they are ready

Out of curiosity Op and pp, do your husbands wake up like this if they set an alarm and the alarm goes off?

I am exactly the same! I either scream, gasp and shake or (most frequently) burst into tears! It's very strange but my DP of 5 years has now got used to it so sneaks away as soon as he realises I'm napping. Oddly, I don't do it when the alarm goes off at the end of a nap, or in the morning.

And to those saying it's not normal for adults to nap- I don't nap often but i do on holiday and I'm 30 weeks pregnant and having a lot of naps and loving it!

There is no possible reason to wake a person that’s napping.
It’s just plain mean.

My dp does this. I absolutely hate it-I feel as if I've done something bad to him! I don't think there's anything you can do.

My DH does this! He doesn’t nap but falls asleep really early as he gets up so early. I can turn over in bed and he can start screaming or jump up terrified. He never remembers either. I usually start laughing and he just goes back to sleep.
He is a terrible sleeper and has ADHD and I wondered if it was to do with that.

A flight attendant had to wake me in the morning on a red eye flight and I don't think I yelled but I was definitely '"go away and stop waking me!"
I apologised and she said she HATES waking people cos she never knows how they're going to react

My DH does this too, looks so offended as if I’ve attacked him. Me? Not a napper, struggle enough at bedtime.

If he's this dramatic about it I'd just chuck something at him when you need to wake him up. Might as well give him something to react to :)

I find naps and nappers irrationally irritating though.

Oh, this is me. I hate being woken up and react very badly and get the whole feeling sick and sweaty reaction. I think the best way to be woken is have some gently increasing background noise which gradually filters into dreams and wakes me up without a shock. Being woken from a nap is somehow different from an overnight sleep as I think you are in a different kind of sleep cycle.

Thank you! My DH does this, as though I've woken him up with a bloody fog horn.

He's a very heavy sleeper, he'll sleep through heavy storms, kids getting up in the night, all sorts. But if I so much as breathe his name he jumps up like I've screamed it down his ear.

Drama queen. Does my head in 🤣

I did many years of being on call where I'd get phone calls at random points throughout the night and as a result I know I can wake from whatever level of sleep to being properly alert and useful within the space of less than 6 rings, and without being shocked. So I wouldn't say it's universal to be shocked at being woken suddenly.

Have you just tired gently nudging him rather than speaking or calling his name? It's less of a shock for the person napping.

Op my dh is like this. I have to admit it irrationally annoys me. As does his napping.. Just go to bed if you are tired! (Possibility I am projecting here)

I've napped ever since I was a teenager, still do when I can. I'm 38. I don't have any underlying illnesses causing it. Not sure why it's so difficult for some of the people who don't nap to understand. We're all different. My husband doesn't nap but that doesn't confuse me either.

I don't wake up startled though.

If woken I can wake up shocked or angry or grumpy.

Rarely sweetly unless I waken naturally

That would REALLY irritate me. Don't wake him, if he misses meals etc then that's on him.

What kind of stuff are you waking him for? How often is he napping?

This would drive my mad. Interesting so many men do this. It feels like performance sneezing type thing.

DH is similar - and will sleep through an alarm if he sets one, so I just let him get on with it. He slept for 3 hours when he got in from work the other night, and woke up asking where tea was. I said it was 2 hours ago and yours went in the bin.

He's got a horrendous sleep pattern. Goes to sleep properly at 4am-ish, can't wake up in the morning, then has about 5/6 naps during the day and naps all evening. Drives me absolutely batshit, hence we don't share a room. And he won't hear a word about seeing a GP, thinks it's normal and I'm a nag.