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Original poster

That’s it, she’s gone…

56 replies

Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:08

DD, 25, just driven off to spend the first night in the house she’s just bought. Gave her a cheery wave and said I’d see her tomorrow- she’s only a 5 minute drive away.

Her room here’s now pretty empty, spent weeks organising the new house so it’s ready to sleep in, and now it’s all over.

Did you worry?

Will she lock the door? Be careful down the stairs? (Steep stairs/ downstairs bathroom) Be scared of noises? Spiders?

How did you feel when your first one left to live alone? Did it take long to get used to it?

Thankyou for any insights, feel a bit flat!

OP posts:
TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 18/08/2023 15:13

Dd was 17, and moved in with her bf a year older.
I didn't really worry, I knew she'd be fine.
They're still together in their flat four years on, and it's tidier than my house!

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:15

I think that’s it, she’s living alone. I’m wondering if that’s more reason to worry?

Not sure she’ll keep it tidy either!

OP posts:
Zimunya · 18/08/2023 15:18

Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:15

I think that’s it, she’s living alone. I’m wondering if that’s more reason to worry?

Not sure she’ll keep it tidy either!

Natural to worry about her safety. Not to worry about whether it's tidy or not though - it's her house, and therefore her business how she keeps it. My dad always said, "You have to give children two things - a nest, and and wings. And the wings are the hardest." Sending you a hug x

JordanIsANameAndACountryAndABrand · 18/08/2023 15:22

25 is not a baby though. I lived alone at 18, was 7 hours flight away from family and was fine.

Merapi · 18/08/2023 15:25

My DD should be exchanging contracts on her flat any day now. It will be weird once she's gone, but she did spend a couple of years living away from home before so we kind of know what to expect. She'll only be the other side of the same town, so a similar distance to yours.

Solidarity, my MN chum!

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:25

@Zimunya I love your dad’s saying, thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:26

@Merapi thankyou! We’re all in this together 😊

best of luck to your daughter x

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/08/2023 15:28

She's 25, she'll be fine. You're worried about spiders?

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:31

@Aquamarine1029 you're right she’s an adult.

Spiders- she’s absolutely pertrified! I’m envisaging late night phone calls for dad to go and catch them! My friend who lives alone said you have to learn to deal with it obviously..

OP posts:
TogetherInEclecticDreams · 18/08/2023 15:32

DS bought his first home at 23. It's been five years now and the only time I worry is if he's ill.

TheBucktoothedGirlFromLuxembourg · 18/08/2023 15:36

I'm two years further down the line from you OP. My DD also lives 5 minutes drive away. I popped round to see her this morning as she's poorly and I dropped off some things from the supermarket as she didn't feel up to going out.

She comes for Sunday dinner most weeks and often calls in here on her way home from work. Her house is lovely and she's started decorating. DH helps her with the garden. I worry a bit about her safety but she is meticulous about locking up and has a ring doorbell plus front & back security lights.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 18/08/2023 15:39

Hugs OP. I can understand you worrying a bit if she's living alone - but she'll be fine!

In my experience, relationships improve when an adult child moves out . My relationship with my own parents improved when I moved out, and when DS moved out my relationship with DH improved as the state of DS bedroom and the time he came home at night was s big source of tension between DS and DH. Life is more relaxing now - and we see DS all the time .

Your DD is only 5 mins away so I'm sure you'll see her a lot too .

Hbh17 · 18/08/2023 15:40

She's 25 - of course she'll be fine! And why do you need to see her tomorrow, when she needs to be spending time sorting out and enjoying her new house ALONE? This level of parental fussing can't be for real?

NoSquirrels · 18/08/2023 15:43

Is it the first time she’s lived away? Didn’t head off to uni or do a flat share or anything? I don’t think you’re unusual to worry, I think it’s more that most DC have a more gentle intro to living away than straight from Dad catching spiders to living alone, IYSWIM?

Buy her a spider catcher stick as a housewarming gift Grin

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:43

Some helpful insights thankyou all x

She's 25 - of course she'll be fine! And why do you need to see her tomorrow, when she needs to be spending time sorting out and enjoying her new house ALONE? This level of parental fussing can't be for real?

No fussing, just off to the football like we do every week! 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 15:46

@NoSquirrels see your point. Went to Uni close to home so lived here, this helped her to save her deposit so yes it is a big leap spider wise! Will take pp advice and get a spider stick thing 😂

OP posts:
BCBird · 18/08/2023 15:57

She'll be fine. If she needs anything, she knows where you are. Hopefully you will be getting an invitation to go round to eat soon😁

MrsMarzetti · 18/08/2023 15:59

You don't stop worrying but you learn to live with it. Now you have a spare room what are you going to do with it ? I would be in the wallpaper shop already x

VictoriaVenkman · 18/08/2023 16:10

She'll be fine, try not to worry OP Flowers I remember the first night I moved out of home. It was odd as it was so quiet.

VitaminNinja · 18/08/2023 16:30

She will be fine and so will you xx

EmmaPaella · 18/08/2023 16:33

I would have hated my mum to be wondering whether I would shut the front door at 25! She will be fine.

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 16:41

Thankyou all for putting my mind at rest and helping me to put things into perspective.
@EmmaPaella you’re so right. My mum worries about me still and it drives me mad (I’m in my 50s) It’s probably where I get it from. I’ll learn to step back and assume she knows how to lock up!

OP posts:
Vault687 · 18/08/2023 16:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Bitsadtoday1 · 18/08/2023 16:52

A kind post thankyou@Vault687, you get it. It seems like only yesterday I was scraping weetablx out of her hair in her little high chair 😂
Enjoy your little ones x

OP posts:
NorthWestThree · 18/08/2023 16:55

My son is 18 and has just moved out - into a house share but with strangers who keep v different hours to him (students/shift workers, he is a 9-5 Mon-Fri professional) so he is on his own a lot. I know he can look after himself but I worry about him getting lonely! He is a couple of hours away so I can't pop in and visit easily either.

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