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Original poster

Lucy letby gilty

61 replies

Tg2023 · 18/08/2023 13:30

Can't say I'm shocked!

OP posts:
Sunshineandsons · 18/08/2023 21:54

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 21:37

why couldn't you stay with him?

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No beds at other hospital and wasn’t allowed to ambulance transfer with him as had only just given birth just had to get discharged then drive up everyday and leave him in the care of the nurses that you should be able to trust overnight til I drove back the next morning
tge nurses there were all amazing but awful to have this case in back if your mind

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:05

Sunshineandsons · 18/08/2023 21:54

No beds at other hospital and wasn’t allowed to ambulance transfer with him as had only just given birth just had to get discharged then drive up everyday and leave him in the care of the nurses that you should be able to trust overnight til I drove back the next morning
tge nurses there were all amazing but awful to have this case in back if your mind

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That must have been hard. I spent a while with my friend and her newborn in nicu, but there was no question of her ever having to leave her. She stayed day and night

StartingAgainAt50 · 18/08/2023 22:14

@Nevermay - I had to leave my baby behind in nicu every day for 95 days. No parents beds in NICU & only allowed to room in the night before he went home.

Fucking horrific that someone could do this.

The article on the bbc Website is horrendous too - the medical staff new very early on & management ignored their concerns.

Lessons must be learned. I hope there is an enquiry.

Hobbes8 · 18/08/2023 22:18

Not all hospitals have enough beds for otherwise healthy mums to stay with their sick babies. My son was in NICU for 8 days and I was discharged after the first couple. I was lucky enough to get a “rooming in” bed next to NICU all but one of the nights but they sent me home one night because they needed my bed for someone else as the mat ward was full (basically I was fine but lots of the other NICU mums had had emergency caesarians or pre-eclampsia).

It was awful having to hand my tiny newborn over to the care of strangers and go home, but there was never any question that he was safe. This case has really affected me.

peelyjuice · 18/08/2023 22:24

I've not followed the case, too
disturbing. Was there ever any motive for what she did? It's incomprehensible

bellamountain · 18/08/2023 22:27

Not all parents can be there every minute of the day. What that monster did happened in a matter of seconds. Please no one justify why you had to leave your babies in NICU, I've been there. It's horrendous and we trust the nurses.

I wish the media would stop using her smiling photos. Her police mug shot should be the only photo they use now, that is a face of evil.

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:33

If you choose to leave your baby, that is up to you, but I am surprised at mums not being allowed to stay, and have never come across that, you don't take up a hospital bed, you sleep on a camp bed or in a chair, I think its awful if parents have to leave. Never experienced that. How can it be possible to make a parent leave?

I wonder if parents in this case were present or not? but it might not make any difference, even if you are there, you are not going to stop a nurse doing what she says she should be doing, are you.

Sunshineandsons · 18/08/2023 22:39

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:33

If you choose to leave your baby, that is up to you, but I am surprised at mums not being allowed to stay, and have never come across that, you don't take up a hospital bed, you sleep on a camp bed or in a chair, I think its awful if parents have to leave. Never experienced that. How can it be possible to make a parent leave?

I wonder if parents in this case were present or not? but it might not make any difference, even if you are there, you are not going to stop a nurse doing what she says she should be doing, are you.

unfortunately they don’t allow camp beds in intensive care units where the rooms taken up with ill babies in incubators
I sat on uncomfortable chairs for 12 hours a day before doing the hour drive home to my 2 year old “choosing” to leave my baby but thanks for your comment

peelyjuice · 18/08/2023 22:39

If you choose to leave your baby, that is up to you,

no it's not

peelyjuice · 18/08/2023 22:40

That's incredibly insensitive

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:42

peelyjuice · 18/08/2023 22:39

If you choose to leave your baby, that is up to you,

no it's not

what I mean is if a mother is leaving out of choice, then that is absolutely fine, but if a mother is leaving because she is forced to, then that is horrendous, and should not be allowed.

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:43

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:42

what I mean is if a mother is leaving out of choice, then that is absolutely fine, but if a mother is leaving because she is forced to, then that is horrendous, and should not be allowed.

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and I am very surprised it is allowed, it certainly isnt my experience. It should be forbidden for a hospital to force parents to leave

StartingAgainAt50 · 18/08/2023 22:45

@Nevermay - Christ, there wasn't a choice.

1st baby I was in HDU & then had to leave him behind when I was well enough for discharge.

2nd baby chucked out of hospital 48hrs after EMCS. Baby was 8 days in SCBU.

Never an option to stay apart from the night before baby went home.

No choice, at all.

tenbob · 18/08/2023 22:52

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:43

and I am very surprised it is allowed, it certainly isnt my experience. It should be forbidden for a hospital to force parents to leave

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What’s your experience?

mine and all the other NICU mums I know was very much being forced. Pumping in a different ward, visiting hours, being asked to leave while procedures and handovers happened, it’s just standard.

i find it very hard to believe you have NICU experience tbh

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:52

StartingAgainAt50 · 18/08/2023 22:45

@Nevermay - Christ, there wasn't a choice.

1st baby I was in HDU & then had to leave him behind when I was well enough for discharge.

2nd baby chucked out of hospital 48hrs after EMCS. Baby was 8 days in SCBU.

Never an option to stay apart from the night before baby went home.

No choice, at all.

That is what I am saying, it is awful that you had no choice, and unimaginable, and I can't believe that is legal.

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:53

My experience has been very different, in fact the opposite, as in parents are required to stay or nominate someone else to stay

Hobbes8 · 18/08/2023 23:01

What exactly is your experience, @Nevermay? because it seems to differ from all the mothers on this thread who have actually had babies that required a stay in NICU/SCBU.

willstarttomorrow · 18/08/2023 23:02

I have been a CP social worker for nearly 20 years and have had a few Fabricated/Induced illness cases that have ended with catastrophic results. Usually the family is unknown to us until medics raise concerns and the obviously we need to keep the child and siblings safe whilst assessments are ongoing. In all cases I have worked it has been a parent harming their child, usually they were premature or had some kind of acute illness. The cod psychology is that when they start to improve/things get back to normal, the parent misses the attention they create a medical event. In a few cases this has ended in life changing disabilities.

The thing is, in all these cases we have had a very strong finding of fact in the family courts. When assessing the perpetrator they all maintain they have not harmed their child. There are psychological and psychiatric assessments but with no admission or insight they remain a huge risk and no one has any idea what triggers this behaviour.

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 23:08

Hobbes8 · 18/08/2023 23:01

What exactly is your experience, @Nevermay? because it seems to differ from all the mothers on this thread who have actually had babies that required a stay in NICU/SCBU.

Various, I have been in hospital with my own children at times, I have been in nicu with two babies as a nanny, many years apart- that was hospitals where the parents could go home to sleep if they wanted to, as long as they left someone else with the baby, and I spent months visiting hospital regularly this year, with my friend who had a baby in nicu, and her husband was in hospital too, with an unrelated condition, and so it was just her all alone day and night. They allowed me in the nicu because she was all alone, normally it is just parents. It wasn't just me, we had a relay team of friends coming in to sit with her for half a day, bringing clean clothes, wash bag, snacks, etc. All babs recoverd and went home and all doing fine, except possibly the last one I mentioned who may have cp, or might just be a late developer, time will tell

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 18/08/2023 23:12

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:53

My experience has been very different, in fact the opposite, as in parents are required to stay or nominate someone else to stay

What was your experience and what country was it in?

DS (prem) was taken straight to SCBU after he was born. I was sent to a different ward because fortunately there was space for us both. I was technically allowed to sit with him 24/7 in a chair by his incubator (in a room with 3 other very prem and very ill babies), but I was told to leave so the drs could do their work, so I could eat (couldn't eat in scbu rooms), so I could rest etc.

We were there for 8 days before he had a night with me on the post natal ward then we were sent home.

My friend had her twins sent to a hospital in a totally different city (a good 1.5 hour drive) because they needed two beds. She was offered to have one where we live and one at this other hospital. She was kicked out to get rest and had no where to go but home.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 18/08/2023 23:14

Argh, I've just realised I've done it too, but why the hell are we feeling the need to explain to some random on the internet why we "chose" to leave our babies in hospital?

It doesn't matter if it was forced or a choice, no one deserves to have their baby murdered.

BackAgainstWall · 18/08/2023 23:33

I appreciate murderers don’t always look evil, but what really struck me was how completely innocent and trustworthy her looks are.

The news during the trial was just too harrowing for me to listen to.

It’s a shame she can’t be hanged.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 18/08/2023 23:37

BackAgainstWall · 18/08/2023 23:33

I appreciate murderers don’t always look evil, but what really struck me was how completely innocent and trustworthy her looks are.

The news during the trial was just too harrowing for me to listen to.

It’s a shame she can’t be hanged.

What and end her suffering?

Snugglemonkey · 18/08/2023 23:44

Nevermay · 18/08/2023 22:33

If you choose to leave your baby, that is up to you, but I am surprised at mums not being allowed to stay, and have never come across that, you don't take up a hospital bed, you sleep on a camp bed or in a chair, I think its awful if parents have to leave. Never experienced that. How can it be possible to make a parent leave?

I wonder if parents in this case were present or not? but it might not make any difference, even if you are there, you are not going to stop a nurse doing what she says she should be doing, are you.

My baby spent 6 weeks in nicu. Staying was not allowed. We also had to leave during rounds twice a day for confidentiality.

Nevermay · 19/08/2023 00:00

Snugglemonkey · 18/08/2023 23:44

My baby spent 6 weeks in nicu. Staying was not allowed. We also had to leave during rounds twice a day for confidentiality.

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I think that is horrific