Reception child wraparound care 4 days, too much?

[BageyeAtTheWheel]

I'm a lone parent to a child who is about to start reception. No involvement or contributions from father despite my best efforts. No family support at all. It's all me. I've been offered a job that is a 20k pay increase (!) but sadly for me they have turned down my request to work 0.8ft. As a compromise they have suggested I work ft hours over 4 long days including after child's bedtime if necessary. It would mean child in full wrap around care for those days, I'd barely see them (or that's how it feels) on those days although we'd have the other day + weekends of course.

Is it too big a sacrifice? I'm not scraping by on my existing salary, we manage okay, but that amount of money would mean I don't have to worry. I'm torn.

My DD started breakfast and after school club 5 days per week when she started reception - just two weeks after her 4th birthday. It’s been fine and she has thrived on it. However, I work term time only so she gets a complete break from it. Has child been in full time nursery? If so, I can’t see that it is any different and they’ll be used to the long days.

if you did 5 normal days could you just do after school club? assuming you work 37.5 hours a week and take a 30 min lunch that’s a 9 to 5 job or a 9.15 to 5.15 job (if you need a bit more time to commute after drop-off).

I think it will work out fine so I’d just go for it. I also advise to buy a slow cooker and while your son is eating breakfast and getting ready for school you can pop in the ingredients for dinner, there’s nothing like coming in from a long day in winter to the smells of a chicken casserole or whatever!

@voxnihili that's reassuring. She does 4 days at nursery currently so in that sense it's not such a big step up, but we spend my non working weekday together as well as the weekends so it feels like a big loss of time together.

@WomanAtWork the issue with working 5 days is that would leave me with zero down time, that's what I do now, I work 4 days and am with her the other 3, no breaks at all. I can't sustain that indefinitely, I know some lone parents do but it's incredibly tough, I need some time for household management and just for me.

It’s a good compromise. Means you get one night a week for local park play dates etc ..

Ds starts reception in September too. He will be in breakfast club and afterschool club 3 days a week because neither dh or I can get to him. I felt awful initially but then, he's at nursery 2 days a week 8am to 6pm anyway, so it's only really 1 extra day.

I think it'll be fine, you've got to do what you've got to do to survive and she'll see a hard working mum. That's never a bad thing.

Wrap around can be quite fun! I wouldn't worry about that as much as how exhausted I am by the time my child goes to bed (also reception in September)- there is no way I could carry on working then!

What would you do during school holidays? At the moment nursery is open year round mostly isn’t it? (Not sure, we used a preschool which only offered morning or afternoon sessions during term time, I wasn’t working)
I think it’s worth trying at least.

@BageyeAtTheWheel before school I just did 4 days too, and DD did 4 days at nursery. I get what you mean about missing the time together. However, I would love a day to get stuff sorted at home like laundry, housework so that the weekend can just be fun time (or down time if DD needs time to rest).

@TheChosenTwo that's a whole separate worry, I wasn't sure how I was going to cover holidays in my existing role, never mind the new one. I imagine it will involve holiday clubs + her at home with me working, although that's not my ideal. How does any lone parent do it?? No term time only roles in my industry unfortunately.

Maybe look into a local childminder, they could do a few pickups during the week, can be a lovely home setting and a bit more relaxed or just more low key than afterschool clubs. And you’d be able to send to the childminder in the holidays presuming they work them. My friend does it but has given up holiday work as her dc are much older now, adults, and her dh has retired so they spend holidays on holiday BUT other childminders I know do work the holidays.
Do some very thorough research though, they are not all created equal!

my DD was in nursery 11 hrs a day from 6 mths old and wraparound care every day when in primary school. Also a lone parent, if I wanted to work i didn't have a choice. Lots of kids do this.

Lots of dc are in wraparound care 5 days a week. It can be lovely.
My dc (in their 20s) are still pleased to see their childminder if they ever bump into her these days. Of course it isn't too much.

Seriously though - your pay increase is more than some people earn.
I can't understand why you would have any dilemma.

I don't think it's ideal at all esp at dc get tired after school and want to relax at home.
However, 4 over 3 isn't too bad that's 3 full days of relaxing and having you.

One assumes you don't already have savings and also safety net and it sounds like even if you did this job for a few years you could save a considerable amount? Get her set up with savings?

I did after school all throughout (breakfast club didn’t exist so I was dropped off at a neighbors with a kid in the school, which was only 15mins walk away) and holiday club every day and every holiday except a month in summer (grandparents) all throughout with a single working mum, honestly it was fine. I had fun.

But as PP said, not all are made equal. My first one was run by one of the kid’s mum so she put a lot of effort into it, working with the school for budgets for activities, better snacks, to have access to the playground where there were toddler type ride on toys, etc. So it was nice.
Changed schools in year 3 and it was boring, kids didn’t like each other, nothing to do, barely any snacks, staff un invested.
The différence was quite stark.

That being said, we didn’t have switches and internet !

Holiday club I admit some were boring, some better, so again to be explored.

Take it, out source everything possible - cleaning, ironing, some meal prep. If it doesn’t work, stepping down is always easier.

do you know about legal right to (unpaid) parental leave? Every one can take up to 18 weeks unpaid leave before child’s 18 birthday.
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement
the 20k pay rise could pay for a good chunk of this, and you could have quality time in holidays. Time after school can be hard as everyone is tired and juggling.

It will be exhausting at first - both of mine were way more tired after school than nursery but they build stamina quickly.
It's not ideal - but lots in same situation & lovely in lots of ways coz they get to know & get looked after by older children.

Maybe use some of salary increase for parental leave in the summer too??

My son did four days of breakfast and teatime club from reception. It was tough on him but what could we do. I spoke to the team running the wraparound at his school and they explained that the reception, year ones were in a separate part of the building to the older children. So it was a more manageable environment for a 4 or 5 yr old with no big kids crashing around. They also had a sweet break out area with bean bags and books and blankets for if they needed a rest.

Absolutely, it's so easy for people to say that wraparound child care is too much but good luck to them in their situation, and good luck to you in yours.
The children that I know in wraparound care absolutely thrive- yes it can be a long day but they do get downtime and even better with their mates! My children beg me to go to summer day camps and after school activities.
That pay increase is staggering and, like a previous poster said, could cover the cost of reducing your mental load with cleaning, ironing etc. Wanting the Friday downtime completely makes sense in your situation as well. I jumped from 3 days to full time this year and I miss that opportunity to connect with school and other parents etc. Your daughter may even become friends with a parent willing to trade a little bit of childcare help as there's lots of us in the same boat. Good Luck and congrats on the amazing opportunity xx

OP i think i would do the 4 days in your situation, for the down time and time for chores/exercise/rest you need as a person too!

That one day could then be the most exciting one for your child as you can both drop off and pick up! It keeps your 'mummy day' as well like you had for nursery.

Holidays- mix of holiday club, childminders, a/l, and unpaid parental leave for a couple of weeks per year.

That oay rise is significant especjally as a LP.

Did they consider 0.9 at all?

It's the norm in many foreign countries. I was educated abroad and the days were much longer. It was completely fine. My child does wraparound childcare breakfast and afternoons five days a week and she is fine. She also started nursery full time at 1 year old.
You'll also find that from year 3 ish, they tend to be quite independent anyway so you could perhaps pick her up at 3 or whenever her school day ends and carry on working at home while she chills. I know quite a few parents who do that.
Holidays are tricky I'll give you that. A combination of annual leave, unpaid leave, camps and switching with parents may work?

Can you look to take unpaid parental leave as detailed above? Seeing as it’s a huge salary increase you could save and take three weeks off in summer or two at Easter unpaid to spend with your daughter

Dd is in after school and breakfast club 4 days a week. She does a lot of holiday clubs as well.

My day off on fridays is great as it means i can do the school run with the other parents and after school we have time together either baking or we go for end of week tea and cake. Plus we can do play dates on that day as well.

Dd was in nursery 4 days a week anyhow so she coped fine.

As someone pointed out the pay increase is going to make a huge difference. You could outsource all the boring housework. Get shopping delivered.

I think achildminder might be worth looking into for the after-school time. If you get the right one it's more likea home environment and they'll have more.flexibility if a tired four year old comes in from school feeling ratty!

My mum did childminding for years and is still in touch with the kids she minded. She has been to their weddings and they often pop in to see her even though they're grown up.

You could do breakfast club in the morning and have a childminder after school?

The arrangement won't have to be forever so after a few years (saving that extra cash!) You would be in a position where you'd have good savings.

You need a childminder for the after school and school holidays I do think this and it gives me peace of mind that she is always cared for.. the childminder is great as she takes them to the park and day trips and she always has kids to play with in school holidays 👍 it costs but not as much as you think with the gov childcare account .