Reception child wraparound care 4 days, too much?

[BageyeAtTheWheel]

I'm a lone parent to a child who is about to start reception. No involvement or contributions from father despite my best efforts. No family support at all. It's all me. I've been offered a job that is a 20k pay increase (!) but sadly for me they have turned down my request to work 0.8ft. As a compromise they have suggested I work ft hours over 4 long days including after child's bedtime if necessary. It would mean child in full wrap around care for those days, I'd barely see them (or that's how it feels) on those days although we'd have the other day + weekends of course.

Is it too big a sacrifice? I'm not scraping by on my existing salary, we manage okay, but that amount of money would mean I don't have to worry. I'm torn.

She'll be fine. Do think about what day off you take. Friday might seem the obvious one but if it was a Wednesday, you'd break the week up. Also, childcare settings are usually quieter on a Friday and my DC found that it meant the entire atmosphere changed and it felt totally different as the staff could do different activities with them or they played with different children.

Why do you want the extra weekday free? Won't your child be in school that day too?

I think it depends on area how many kids do ASC every day. I teach in the midlands and it's incredibly unusual to the point ours is struggling for numbers (lots more people WFH so not using it after KS1). I can only actually think of one child I've taught in 10 years who did wrap around most days. It's amazing really how many people seem able to manage without it - a surprising number have family help.

You have to do what's right for your family. If I were managing on my old salary and enjoyed my current role, it's not what I'd want for my own child personally. For you it might be worth it though. Have you checked there are spaces at ASC?

I think it depends on the child as to how they'll cope. On the whole I think most would be fine and wrap around care can be very fun and helps children socialise with older children and make other friends.

I also think that you NEED a day to yourself if you've no supper whatsoever!

Whatever you commit to in term time, you are committed toin the holidays too though! Your school may do holiday clubs, or there will be other things locally (there is a huge amount of different clubs where I live, and there's the usual round of texts on our school WhatsApp group asking if anyone else is going to xyz club so they know if their kids will have friends there!). Factor the cost of this into your "is the payrise worth it" question.

Also I seem to remember some holiday clubs outside of school didn't take 4 year olds for a full day, but this would only be a short term day.

Would you be able to go back to your old job or get a similar easily if it didn't work out?

I think I would probably work the extra day in this situation if I'm, especially if it means you could pick up a bit earlier on other days. I'm a lone parent to a child who is starting school I'm September. He will be going to breakfast club every day but I'll be picking him up at 3 then making my hours up in the evening. It's a shame your workplace aren't more flexible. Could you possibly look into a childminder who does after school pickups so there's at least a homely change of scenery?

Take the job, that's a no brainer. Find a good cleaner!

Do you think they would they be flexible enough to change 4/5 days if you find your initial choice isn't working for you?

id try the 4 days and have Friday off, I wouldn't find it as beneficial mid week so would probably just stick with 5.

he's only little & (I assume) in bed pretty early, so I'd enjoy my time in the evenings.

Definitely take the job though, that extra money will help you so much with holiday care & to set yourself up. Not just now but forever as it's a great jump up the ladder! And will continue to bring you higher paid jobs.

what do you do?

Honestly I don’t remember being exhausted, but then again it was all I’d ever known.
Good point about making friends with a couple of older students, I was an only still in reception, I liked asking the older girls questions and recognizing them in the playground etc before I made my own friends (don’t know if they liked it as much haha, I don’t remember any animosity - but as PP said we’d often be separated by age in the activities anyway).
We also had the bean bag quiet space.

For holiday clubs also agree with PP who suggested asking around who was going where, when I had to do the very boring one further from home (can’t remember why it had to be that one) there was at least a girl from ballet with me, so we just made up stuff to do together, watch ballet dances our teacher had given us etc (honestly can’t remember if it was dvds or what at that time haha, and also there was a huge library next to our ballet studio so we’d go with one of our parents on weekends to get a pile of books each to read during the week ( luckily both loved reading and at prime age for the typical Enid Blyton etc so tons of options).

All this to say, don’t worry ☺️

What I liked about after school clubs was more kids so more opportunities statistically to make friends. And childminders will vary a bit more in quality, but if a good one, sure.

Id probably do 5 days also though, I wonder if 4 really long days would be tougher. As I mentioned 5 days was all I’d ever known so I never really questioned what could be if I didn’t have to do it, it was just the way things were. But OP knows herself better I’d guess. Just maybe a bit of a shame as nursery you get the whole day off, reception after a full on week for both of you, you may just be shattered really.

I would take the job - it's too good an opportunity to turndown.

In the short term I would work 5 days and then when your child is more used to school and I then work your hours over 4 days to give you the down time. You could even do the hours over 4.5 days as well although I do understand the need to have 1 whole day off.

In your position - I would try and find an after school nanny to pick up from school and take your child back to their own home. I know these are hard to find - but I would try as it just means greater flexibility for you if change your hours. A childminder could obviously also do this for you and take your child back to their house.

Holidays - you won't be alone in trying to source care - there's always the nanny option (if you find one), childminder, holiday clubs, child-swaps where you and a friend take annual leave and look after each other's children.

They soon get used to it, I'd try the 4 days. Less days to try and cover during holidays !

Massive waiting lists here for wrap around so clearly it’s popular. We use a childminder, but that’s because she did our childcare preschool. It’s more expensive but she’ll also take them for inset days and if they’re I’ll with a cold and not quite well enough for school but plenty well enough for a sofa day.

DS starts reception in September he will do ASC 3 times a week and has sports/activities after school the other two nights which we will pick him up and take him to. He's been at nursery 3 days and had been doing the other activities for a while. I think they'll all be tired for a while, but there will be some children who've not been to nursery suddenly doing five days a week at school, so there are changes for them all.

I would go for 5 normal days and look at childminders. Use some of the extra money to get help with household jobs. Take the odd day's annual leave for yourself and look at taking a few weeks unpaid parental leave over the summer. With 5 normal days you might even be able to do the odd drop off.
I think even if they are use to nursery, a full day at school is different. A good child minder can be a home from home and hopefully they can help with holidays too.

I think 5 more normal days would be better for your DD than 4 super long days.

If you earn £20k currently and would be increasing to £40k, would seem daft not to do everything you could to make it work.
If you earn £200k currently, not sure it’s worth the extra. It’s not the wraparound (as other posters have said, it’d be fine) but more the result that you wouldn’t really see her for those four days. That sacrifice needs to be worth the financial impact.

Yes I’d agree with this. And when she gets older you might find that you can say offer play dates on Wednesday and then your DD can go to play dates on Fridays (as most people who work less than FT have Fridays off).

My DH doesn’t work Mondays and we host lots of play dates on that day which DC loves.

Don't panic! After school club isn't a bad thing.

My dc loved after school club.
They said it was like having friends for tea every day. It also meant they had friends in higher years, which was nice at primary school, and excellent at secondary. As they got older they had space to do their homework too.

Wow, thank you for so many helpful replies.

Childminder isn't an option - I've looked a few times over the last 3 years and there just isn't availability locally. Nanny might be but I feel after so long in nursery a club would be a better fit.

There's no way I could work 5 days - I've been flat out for years now and I'm in dire need of some space in the week. I'd turn down the job before doing that!

Parental leave is a good shout, I'd not considered that. Also getting a cleaner etc makes sense. Still a bit worried about the school holidays, there is a school holiday club but it's a short day, I'll have to fudge it somehow.