How much should each pay per month?

[klaus6]

If one partner earns £85k and the other £30k, what do you think is a fair amount for each to pay for joint expenses? - mortgage, bills etc, approx £2k pcm

The couple is married and has no children. Do you think it is fair if it's still 50:50?

There's about £25k difference between our wages and we split bills 50/50. Not how most people would do it but it works for us.

I think shared expenses should be split in line with your take home pay (not salary). The higher earner will still be left with more spare money. That is a very low amount for shared expenses so I'm sure you'll both be left with plenty for saving, investing, other spending, increasing pension contribution.

Put everything into a joint account and take out £500 a month each for individual spends.

Crikey you need to chill out a bit more!

You presented a opinion that 50/50 is fair and equal (yes to you)

I simply stated the definition of equal does not correlate and given the OP is looking on opinions on what is fair and equal on the whole is different to what you choose to do.

Many people present 50/50 thinking its fair and equal (as this thread shows). From a mathematical element of percentage if there is a big difference in incomes then 50/50 does not equate. Simple as that really.

@Scottishskifun

you need to stop providing your unwelcome opinions. I haven’t asked you to provide them. I was very clear in stating I was talking about what was equal and fair to us.

Again, I made it very clear that was what we do and that the op should talk to her partner to come to a decision about what their equal and fair is, since we can see from the myriad of responses, the definition of equal and fair differs from person to person.

so why do you feel the need to single out my post when everything I said in it was completely uncontroversial?

meddle much? Go find someone else to tag cos you’re making silly posts now.

I wouldn't put it like this, but without children in the picture - it's not like the lower earner is making a greater non-financial contribution or that they have lost income earning opportunities due to taking on a greater share of family responsibilities. In those circumstances I think the higher earner has a moral obligation to subsidise the lower earner.

It depends on why one party earns less.

Do they work fewer hours? Did they choose an easier job?

I wouldn't necessarily be happy to financially subsidise someone unless I felt our contributions were equal in some other way.

Op there is no right answer to what’s fair or right. Only what the couple decide, and having a financial discussion before making commitment is key.

it’s fine to both pay 50/5o, or one pot, or 66/33. If both agree. All is then fair. It stops being fair if one is forced to pay more and subsidise the other against their wishes, or one refuses to pay their way.

I think I also disagree with you and consider it unfair for a grown adult to expect to be subsidised and not pay their way. Fine if the other wishes to subsidise them, but the proclamation it’s unfair when and demand some of the others money, I personally don’t agree with, as such it’s about each couple. Only they decide what’s fair.

It's a Internet forum......

I earn double dh's salary. Both wages go into one account and direct debits come out of there. A standing order goes into a saving account each month.

Our wages are considered 'family money' regardless of what we earn.

We both use the joint account for day to day expenses. A big personal purchase is discussed. Both of us are careful with money so this set up works perfectly.

If you didn't have the same attitude to saving/spending the this wouldn't work.

I would agree if not living together no the other shouldn't be subsidised.

A lot of things change when people make big commitments to each other though such as living together, marriage and children. Of course each couple should have a discussion but what is usually put is 50/50 is considered equal as equal amounts but if that leaves 1 partner struggling financially whilst the other is living a champagne lifestyle or the equivalent then as a partnership would that be considered fair because their financial contribution is split down the middle.

Many women get a bit of a rough deal (and do struggle financially) because what is presented by a committed partner is 50/50 MN is full of threads about it.

The higher earner earns 74% of the household income and the lower earner 26%, so the bills should also be split that way.

I earn double my husband but we pay the same amount into the non-negotiable bills
account (mortgage council tax etc).

I pay double into our every day spending account (for groceries and fun) and I tend to buy the big things / pay for renovations.

Before children, while married, this was us except DH earns even less. All money went into the joint account for expenses etc and we each had an "allowance" - I can't even remember how much it was. I think Dh insisted mine be higher but we compromised by agreeing that some of the things I would buy with my allowance would just come out of the joint account (I remember skin care was one! - it was discretionary spending really but he uses soap and water and I used high end products! So we agreed all toiletries out of joint, even though mine were much higher!).

Once we had DC and he became a SAHD for a while and money was much higher, it's all just one account.

I've been married for 18 years. I have 3 DC from a previous marriage. DH has no DC of his own but has helped me to bring up my youngest from 8. We both pay the same amount into our joint accounts for bills then the same amount into joint savings, then keep the rest of our salaries for whatever we want. We earn similar but not the same amount. In the beginning DH earned a bit more but in later years I've earned a bit more. DH insists on paying when we go out for a meal. He won't let me pay. To keep it fair I usually buy more currency for when we go on holidays and we just share holiday money.

I think if one person stays home to look after DC then pooling all money and paying bills then splitting the rest is fair but if none of the couple stay home to look after DC then 50/50 is fairer. Possibly the higher earner paying for a few more joint treats.