How much should each pay per month?

[klaus6]

If one partner earns £85k and the other £30k, what do you think is a fair amount for each to pay for joint expenses? - mortgage, bills etc, approx £2k pcm

The couple is married and has no children. Do you think it is fair if it's still 50:50?

We do it proportionately. I earn about 60% of total net household income so I pay 60% of our bills. We pay these amounts to a joint account which covers everything (inc food and savings). Anything else leftover stays in our personal accounts for us to use on whatever.

We prefer having our own money as it means we can spend on whatever we want without having to check in.

I think this is one of those 'depends' scenarios where there isn't enough info in the op.

Why is one earning less? Is it because they've chosen to only work part time because they like leisure time for example? Or is it because some really valuable hard jobs are low paid?

I don't think anyone can really answer this without more info.

So,as there's no kids, and purely based on the op - I say 50/50. They've made choices to earn what they earn - maybe.

Yes. This.

What do you and your partner think?

that really is the right answer.

if my partner and I did not have kids I would expect to pay 50:50 despite what we each earned. That to me is equal and fairness

@pimplebum I would start a new thread to discuss this you'll get lots of good advice! But doesn't sound like you have much of a 'partnership' at all you'd probably be financially better off splitting up!!

OP - if someone is expecting this to be 50/50 then it needs to be at the lower earners budget so not more that 10k each on rent a year. Same goes for night out etc if 50/50 split expected the lower earner chooses the place according to their budget. Not many high earners would be willing to sacrifice lifestyle like this but perhaps short term to save up etc. this could only be a temporary solution though if you are trialing living together before marriage for example. Or if you're very long and don't expect the relationship to last long.

If you want to be a true team then you should pool finances to some degree. BUT if the higher earner works longer hours and has more stress then the lower earner definitely needs to step up with chores, life admin etc etc to contribute to the team in other ways

I would say about 75/25 ratio split of bills.

On 85k take home pay per month will be roughly 4k so if bills are 2k then 75% is £1500 which equates to 33% of their salary leaving 67% left.
On 30k rough take home around £1500 25% is £500 which again equates to 33% of salary leaving 67% left.

This is just rough guesses on take home pay (due to pensions etc) but as you can see both are putting in the same percentage amount of their salary leaving the same equal amount each left.

It seems complicated at first but this is how we have done it since moving in and it's the fairest way. We don't do all in one pot because we have very different spending and saving habits.

IMO all shared outgoings should be split proportionately according to individual income, costs for any children included and also some joint savings/investments by agreement. Any personal income left over should be for that partner to spend or save as they choose. Also, any personal savings ideally ring fenced somehow to protect the judicious partner from the spendthrift partner. Just voicing what I wish I had put into place many moons ago!

I'd work it out based on take home pay. It the above guesses are correct, the person earning £30k brings in approx one third of the money into the family and therefore should pay about a third of the bills.

If roughly the same income then yes it is fair but actually if there is a huge difference in salary then 50:50 isn't fair as it means proportionally one person paying a considerable more percentage amount of their take home pay then the other.

A bit like splitting a bill with friends where one is the designated driver and had tap water compared to the other who has had multiple cocktails.

It’s a tricky one I think. There’s no right answer even though mumsnet claims there
is.

It depends if one person has higher outgoings. For example, I’m the higher earner in our marriage but I have a horse that I had prior to meeting DH that costs a bomb to keep. If we put all our money in to one pot and paid the bills and then equally shared what was left as fun money I couldn’t pay for my horse with my share let alone anything else. But it isn’t fair to count her as a shared bill either as she is nothing to do with DH.

So what we do is deduct the horse costs from my net pay first, then we split the bills proportionally based on my adjusted income vs his. So I pay roughly 60% and he pays 40% apart from childcare which we split 50/50 (as I work part time so provide some childcare myself).
If I didn’t have horse it would be just over 70/30 split.

We pay for holidays and house things jointly, with me usually paying more.

He has the benefit of my credit (he can’t have any credit and we can’t have a joint account due to his bankruptcy) so all debt is in my name only, so it all balances out even if it isn’t entirely conventional.

No idea but me and my husband have always been a team. He earns more, used to be by a lot but I may earn more than him next year. Regardless, it gets put in the joint account, all bills paid, rest goes in savings. If we want something, unless its over £100 we would just buy it as we can afford it. Larger spends are discussed. We spend a lot on holidays

What we do is it all goes into the one pot but we are both left with equal “spends” so for talking sake once bills, mortgage, food, cars, kids clothes everything is paid for, there’s £2000 left we would each take £1000 of that. My DH earns a lot more than I do but we have equal spending money he’s never saw it as his money it’s always been our money.

Also to add. In my lesser earning days, if it was 50/50 then we wouldnt have lived in as nice a house as we did as he earned around 70% more than I did

In a situation where the disparity in income is down to the choices made by the individuals around their career paths then all household/essential costs should be split 50:50 IMO.

Non-essential/treats higher earner contributes more because that's the perks of having a high earner in the household, ie access to more luxuries.

😨
Horrific

@klaus6

However a couple pools resources, you shld both have the same spending money

Your situation is unfair

It depends whether you are genuine "partners" ie married-in-all-but-name, totally reliable and there for each other, and on the same team, or whether you are just housemates who shag each other.

If you are just housemates who shag each other, then 50:50.

If you are genuinely life-partners then it needs to be more so that they have similar levels of "fun money". The richer partner could fully fund the entire household expenses from their take-home and still have more left over than the other's entire take-home-pay.

The entire take-home pot is £7000 so there's £5000 left for "fun". I would suggest that £1500 per month goes into a joint "holidays, birthdays and christmas" pot and the rest gets split in a 3:2 ratio so that the higher earner has a bit more for spends but not ridiculously so.

@Scottishskifun kindly, please read my answer again. That is right and fair to me, regardless of what myself and partner earn.

I appreciate others do not do it this way but we have had an equal playing field (actually partner has had more opportunities through childhood but I have mostly always earned more- that’s not to say my partner hasn’t earned more at a time) and I have always expected and wanted to pay 50/50.

that to me, And my partner, in OUR relationship is equal and fair prior to kids.

so your calculations/ explanations is void for us.

again, I would encourage people to have that conversation with their partners and try and come to a mutual agreement

That's fine if it's what works for you but the assumption that 50/50 is automatically fair and equal is not correct.
Wanting it to be 50/50 is fine and thats what works for you but if looking at what is equal that would be both parties having the same percentage (not amount) left from their salaries after paying bills.

@Scottishskifun not so kindly. Read my message properly.

‘and I have always expected and wanted to pay 50/50.

that to me, And my partner, in OUR relationship is equal and fair’

who are you to tell me & my partner it’s not fair?

I have not said it is fair for EVERYONE ELSE, just US.

so where do get off telling me what’s right for me?

ive never understood this, I’m plodding along minding my own business. I clearly state it is what works for ME

and yet there’s always one that needs to intervene and tell me how I live my life is wrong. Focus on you

We would pay proportionally.

74% of the household income would pay 74% of the household expenses

But there can be different thinking on what people consider joint and separate expenses.

Same here, 75/25 in our house

There is no blanket fair way it is whatever works for that particular relationship as everyone has their own opinions/ideas on financial independence etc.

For is all money goes into one pot, bills, food, holidays, hole maintenance out and split the rest 50/50. I earn 1/8th of what my DH earns.

*home maintenance