Have you ever moved from urban to rural and would you do it again?

[MidlifeCrisisMover]

Hi folks, I've name changed for this because someone from my circle might guess it's me and think I'm having second thoughts!

Quick backstory - there's me, DH and DS (starting reception next month) and I've landed a job wfh, so we're planning on abandoning life in our crappy, run down city for a fresh start somewhere either rural or semi rural. The noise, people and pollution here are causing mayhem with my mental wellbeing and we believe we'd all be happier in the countryside. I had a countryside upbringing and want the same simplicity and freedom for DS, although I grew up in mainland Europe so I know it'll be different.

So, has anyone succeeded in such a lifestyle change? Would you do it again? What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

Also, I'd love to know how you chose your destination. We haven't a clue where to start other than looking at schools, and reasonable proximity to PiL because they're not getting any younger.

Thanks!

We lived in an urban area, a village in the countryside and a small seaside town.
I would pick seaside town every time as there's always things for people to do. Sea air is good for you and provided it's not Blackpool or a really busy city sized town it's usually a nice community too.
Where in the uk do you live now? How far are you willing to move?

We moved from one of the most populated city centre streets in the world (think NYC) to a semi-rural location in Scotland.

We love everything about it, the outdoors, the quiet, the clean air, the peace...

The DC can play outside, have more independence and generally move their bodies a lot more than they would otherwise.

We chose a smallish local state school with a good reputation and a solid sense of community.

We're also close to my in-laws for the reasons you mentioned, OP.

We moved to a semi-rural area and stayed there for over 10 years. It was lovely being able to walk the dog in the countryside and made some good friends, but there was only 1 small shop locally, all the other facilities were at least 2 miles away. Public transport was 1 bus every 2 hours. At one point a road shut for 3 months for roadworks and the school bus had to take a 12 mile diversion everyday. Entertainment for kids was a park or going out on their bikes.

Now we live in a small town on the coast and it suits us much better. I love being able to walk everywhere and the DC have a lot more independence because they're not reliant on getting lifts in the car. School is a 10 minute walk away. I don't think we'd consider moving out of town again, certainly not as long as we have school-age DC.

We did it - from large town that is rapidly becoming unrecognisable with new build sprawl and is choked with traffic to my husband's home village in the next county. He works mainly from home but is only 15mins drive from site if he needs to be there; I do a job that is very transferable and I had contacts over here by coincidence, so I was able to get a new job quite easily.

Secondary schooling for our 3dcs was better - much smaller school, smaller class sizes, better behaviour as all the students are well-known, but rural deprivation quite obvious so little in the way of extra curricular activities and not a huge level of ambition amongst some pupils. I do feel our dcs had a better deal than if they had stayed where they were, though.

Public transport is pretty much non-existent, so as older teenagers, our dcs are bored, particularly the one currently home from uni BUT it is a much safer, nicer area for kids generally and the sense of community for young families is strong.

From an adult perspective, the lack of traffic is brilliant - my trip to work is along beautiful country roads and always takes 11 minutes, no matter what! Our village has an independent super market, so you don't need to drive to get milk or bread or the thing you've just run out of and we also have a good post office/ corner shop and an independent petrol station but prices are higher than in town. We do a weekly shop in a nearby town (choice of several within 20-30 mins drive) but lots of people just do online shopping, so no drama there.

For us, it was a brilliant move and for those with young children, village life is lovely. For teenagers it's difficult to get around but this is also an incentive to work hard and make sure they are able to move on and away to expand their horizons. If you spend time choosing an area you like (bear in mind, though, that in the summer areas like the West Country and south coast are invaded by holiday makers and you can feel quite trapped because the main routes in and out are jammed with traffic), and you give a bit of thought to things like train stations being within easy distance, I'm sure you would find it a very positive move. Good luck!

Moved from central London to outskirts of beautiful city, traffic island, suburbia and now lovely seaside village. Mental health 100% better in latter. Fantastic upbringing for DC within walking distance of great schools, safe area and fantastic quality of life: clean air, peace, friendly community. Good luck.

Did it 15 years ago, unhappy for the first 2 years, such a culture shock! I had to go into the nearest big town once a month for my 'big city fix'
But gradually grew to love it and wouldn't go back...
Negatives - small village shop that shuts at 12 on Saturdays, very limited bus service. Post office and doctors surgery 10 miles away. Everyone knows everybody's business!
Positives - go for a walk and everyone says hello, even strangers. School classes smaller - 8 kids in my sons YEAR group at primary! "Traffic" is often sheep & cows rather than other vehicles...
Beautiful views, a much more relaxed way of life.
A bit of advice - if you choose to move to farming country accept the smells, tractors holding you up and there will be noise from harvesting etc all through the night occasionally- they literally have to make hay while the sun shines!

We did it when the children were very little. I hated it. Felt bored, lonely and isolated. But we went to very, very rural Wales so maybe this was part of the problem. I will never live in the middle of nowhere again. Also, once the kids get to teen/preteens they will hate you for it.

Yes. It was pants.

Spent the whole time in the car and it was socially much less fun for my kids. I was pretty bored myself.

We moved back after giving it a decent shot.

I'm glad I tried it though because now I'm not wondering.

Moved from London to tiny village abroad when kids came, it was great for 11 years until adolescence when we moved to a medium sized city.

Probably wouldn't go back, might move to a seaside town when kids gone but like where we live now.

Did it when my children were very young.
Found it hard the first 2 years the settled and loved it.
However moved again 5 years ago as didn't want to grow old there due to lack of public transport and no family nearby.
Moved to seaside town
Best move ever.
Good transport but can walk to almost everything
I would second what a few people have said in that difficult in teenage years as constantly in the car driving

We moved from city to small town. It's exactly what we wanted and I would do it again. I grew up in deepest darkest countryside and it got very isolating when I hit teenage years.
When dd leaves the house the plan is to go rural for a bit before we need amenities a bit closer again.

Yes and yes. We moved to a properly rural spot from a city and we love it. Kids need shuttling all over but I am happy to taxi (and I have an electric car so doesn’t cost a huge amount).

We’ve recently moved from London to a good size south east England town. I’d never consider moving any more rurally than this. For us being able to walk and cycle is important as is public transport, I couldn’t bear having to drive everywhere. Do consider how your child’s life will be once they’re a teen in terms of independence.

We are looking to do something similar in the next year or so. I've secured a fully remote position, my partner will soon be qualified in a new career that allows for self employment, and we are centering our search around access to good schools, lovely walks and views, and enough action to entertain teens- so a market town with trains/busses to a nearby city. We cannot wait for the change. Looking forward to waking up to birdsong and growing our own veg!

I've lived all life close to a town....always thought that's what I'd want, neighbours, street lights etc, things closeby. Now I'm at the stage of wanting to buy a house etc I can't think of anything worse, ideally I'd like to live 10-15 minutes from where I am now, not rural rural but also no neighbours close enough to irritate me!

Moved from increasingly over-built Hertfordshire to a small East Yorkshire village, also near the coast, once the DC had grown and left home.

Apart from one set of NDNs being utter morons (despite the houses being detached), we have never looked back. Guess that could happen anywhere.

Much better quality of life in all respects. Go for it and good luck.

I suppose how rural you mean? A medium sized market town with good transport links to a big city is very different to middle of nowhere where you need to ferry the kids around everywhere. I regret not moving into town sooner with kids because they have no independence. I think once they reach 11 they need some autonomy.

Yes and no.

Mud.

Back in civilisation now aftwr a decade and couldn't be happier (or cleaner).

I agree with those saying to think about your children's lives when they are in their teens.

I was a teenager in a very rural place and it was awful. It was fine until I was about 10 years old, after that I hated it. There was just nowhere to go and I was completely dependent on parents for lifts everywhere.

My only advice would be not to go so rural / far from work, that if things changed you’d have to move.

I know many people who moved out of London during covid because they ‘WFH’. Those same people are now screwed because their companies want them back in a few days a week. Either that or they got made redundant / want to move jobs and there is nothing in the area they’ve moved to.

Were in a market town with lovely countryside around it. We're planning a move to somewhere more rural but it needs to be rural not isolated. It's only going to be for about 15 years then we'll look for somewhere smaller and on the edge of a nice market town. I'm not being elderly and isolated, I want to be active and close to facilities then.

Yes, and have never regretted it for a single second.

I have lived in a couple of cities and I would never want to live in one again - but too rural can be very isolated, especially if you have children because they need ferried everywhere. Public Transport can be practically non-existent in many very rural areas

I have lived, (and still do live in one), in semi-urban places. For me that is perfect. We are within easy reach by train from 2 cities ( 35 minutes for one and 50 minutes for the other), so that we can still have the occasional trip to the theatre or the like, only 10 minutes from a Motorway between the two, but we are a few minutes away from 'country' walks, we can see lots of hills and country views as soon as we leave the Estate where we live and we do have a few ( a very few) shops. We also have a big Town around 11 miles away which has lots of shops, cinema etc. I consider that to be the best of all worlds to be honest

Moved from central London to a very rural location when dc’s were 7, 9 and 11 and only regret is we didn’t do it earlier. We embraced country living with dogs and ponies etc. London was great for very small children but we all just loved the rural life.

My children are now adamant they will move to the country when they have children.

Do think about work opportunities for your youngsters especially if unlikely to leave home for uni and you are not in a position to cover driving lessons and car. I work with young people who have very few options because they live in the arse end of nowhere.