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Original poster

How is your teenager spending the school holidays?

35 replies

confusedofengland · 16/08/2023 13:36

Help me feel less guilty, I'm struggling with this stage!

DS1 is 14. He was on Scout camp for the first week of the holidays (but came home early), then we've been away with family. Got back early hours Sunday.

Since then, I feel like he is struggling for things to do. We have done a theme park trip with friends & he & his brothers are with my mum tomorrow while I work, but other than that it's screens all the way.

He is at an international school, so 90% of his friends are away for the whole school holidays, visiting family abroad. He doesn't have many friends in the village, struggled at primary school. And understandably doesn't want to come with me & younger brothers on playdates. His usual activities- Scouts, football- have stopped for summer.

I'm hovering between leaving him to it, this is totally normal & contacting friends' mums, who I am friends with, to arrange get togethers! I feel like this is probably excessive! I also work 2.5 days per week, taking smaller brothers with me, so he's home alone those days.

Are your teens the same?!

OP posts:
poorbutgood · 16/08/2023 13:49

Leave him too it

loulouljh · 16/08/2023 13:59

Not a great deal to be honest!!!!!

lastseasonstop · 16/08/2023 14:00

We’ve just had this although we are back to school today hooray! We just left him to it. He
spent most of it talking to his mates and gaming.

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NorthWestThree · 16/08/2023 14:04

I have a 15 year old son. He did a week at Scout camp too, and we have had two (separate) weeks away. So he hasn't had much time at home yet, to be fair. But this week he has been in his room playing computer games all day, every day. Today he slept until past noon, had a shower and has been at his computer since. I may try and convince him to pop to Tesco in a bit (5 mins walk) but other than that I expect this will be him for the rest of the holidays!

BibbleandSqwauk · 16/08/2023 14:07

Yeah my 14yo hadn't left his room much. I got him a gym.membership but he's been pretty meh about it.

OriginalUsername2 · 16/08/2023 14:07

Leave him to it. Life is a long slog, a few weeks of gaming / just existing won’t hurt. My teen dd has a pile of library books for when games get boring and has read more than ever which I’m happy about!.

Anoooshka · 16/08/2023 14:10

My 15-year-old also did Scout camp for a week, and he's now on holiday with his dad. Our school holidays started in June, and he goes back to school on Monday. My DH signed him up for an online computer class. Can't remember what computer language (Java?), but he has his code graded by the instructor and then gets a certificate at the end. Otherwise, he'd probably be in his room playing computer games.

He also said that he wanted to learn how to cook, but every time I called him into the kitchen, he had something very important to do!

Aria20 · 16/08/2023 14:11

14yo ds goes to the gym/swimming or cycling with his friends most days.
12yo ds has been trampoline park with friends one day, cinema another. Then mostly online gaming.
We had a week abroad.
We have all been to a ninja warrior type place together, a zoo trip, some national trust/woodland walks.

implantsandaDyson · 16/08/2023 14:21

We've had 2 separate weeks away, my 15 year old dd has been to the cinema, a concert, mooched about town, caught up with books, films, TV series, seen friends a few times. Spent most of her time on her phone. She can catch the bus, train, get a lift if she wants to do anything. But she's happy enough in her own company. My 12 year old has done the same, probably seen friends a bit more.

My 18 year old has done pretty much the same, although she went away with friends for a week and she has a part time job and has done a lot of hours.

We've been off from the end of June. Back to school first week of Sept.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 16/08/2023 15:55

It does seem like it's pretty standard then. I am struggling with this stage of parenting & missing having little ones hugely, so want to make sure I'm doing it right!

He has made noises about messaging to see if people are about, so that's good I guess. And he is running a few errands for me, which is helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
confusedofengland · 16/08/2023 15:56

I do think as well that lockdown has changed socialising for our teens.

OP posts:
Aria20 · 16/08/2023 16:01

Also as it's a long summer holidays often their friends are away for a week or 2 at different times so are not available to meet up. Some parents are working so kids go stay with family. Some parents can't afford to give their kids money to go out and meet up with friends/give them lifts etc if no public transport available and live rural.

Also depends on personality- my 14yo is a sporty/outdoors kid and so are his friends. Whereas 12yo would spend entire holidays in a dark room gaming if I let him and it seems most of his friends are the same.

baxterstockman · 16/08/2023 16:04

13 year old boy here. He has slept in every day while I am out at work. Then he goes out after lunch either playing golf, going to the cricket nets or hanging round, playing football with mates in parks. X box later on in evenings when he gets in. He is lucky that his friends are local and available. He has had a week in London with me and his sister and we have had a 10 day holiday abroad. He is also going away for 4 days with his friend over bank holiday. He has had a bloody lovely Summer! I don't get too involved with his plans these days as am so under the cosh at work.

DinnaeFashYersel · 16/08/2023 16:10

Back at school now but mine (nearly 15 yo) spent the last 6 weeks (more or less) on play station emerging from his room occasionally to grunt and eat.

Lovegood · 16/08/2023 16:13

DS only spends time in his bed on his phone it seems these days. BUT that's what he wants and he's happy. School is so so intense at their age I don't mind him having downtime in the hols if that's what he wants. I do offer to take him places but he'd rather not!

Whatsthepoint1234 · 16/08/2023 16:38

In the first week of the holidays we went back to my home country and stayed with my parents. Since then ds has spent most of his time on his laptop playing sims 4 or doing coding/robot stuff. Next week I’m taking him to Cambridge for his birthday to look at some museums. He’s not particularly sociable and neither am I so I’m perfectly happy to let him do his thing. I do force him to walk the dog with me though so he gets some exercise.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 16/08/2023 16:39

I forgot to say ds is 12, turning 13 later this month.

SpringCalling · 16/08/2023 17:33

Mine will have had two weeks away. when home she meets up with friends if around. when not around it's on her phone all day and being dragged out by me for a walk. friends back at the moment so they're all round one's house. she's 12 going in 17 n her head

Needingacoffee · 16/08/2023 17:39

My sons are 18, and 16. They pretty much lie in bed most of the morning, (apart from the week we were on holiday) when they didn't. They pretty much play games on the XBox, or are on their laptops or mobile 'phones. Occasionally they meet up with friends, but not very often.

American0281 · 16/08/2023 18:11

I also have a 14 year old, I'm finding this age really difficult. Gone are the play dates, days at the park etc he doesnt want to be seen anywhere with me.

He's tending to do something with a friend once a week. He's got gym membership which he uses about 4 times per week. I drag him out under duress to walk the dog occasionally.

That's about it. We had a week away and took one of his friends too which was nice. Its very difficult.

TeenDivided · 16/08/2023 18:28

DD, 18.
A day a week work experience with different businesses related to area of interest.
The 2 days a week recovering from work experience.
Some regular English.
Prepping to get a snake.
Otherwise pottering around with us.

tequilachickenbird · 17/08/2023 00:33

.

SE13Mummy · 17/08/2023 01:34

14-yr-old here. First week was spent camping with others who do the same hobby and since then very little has been arranged beyond the occasional day with grandparents and a day in London. DC sometimes volunteers for a charity related to their hobby so has done this a couple of times each week off their own back. This week was the first time they met up with a school friend.

SomewhereWithSomeone · 17/08/2023 01:50

Sleeping in til the afternoon and staying up half the night gaming. 😅 They are also seeing friends, exercising, working and taking the dogs out a lot though and we’ve had a holiday so I’m leaving them to it.

Silkiebunny · 17/08/2023 01:56

17 year old DD doing some work for A levels, doing a punting tours job, doing a university job, boyfriend, friends, cinema, going on holiday to Mauritius.

16 year old DS asd, gaming and more gaming.