How is your teenager spending the school holidays?

[confusedofengland]

Help me feel less guilty, I'm struggling with this stage!

DS1 is 14. He was on Scout camp for the first week of the holidays (but came home early), then we've been away with family. Got back early hours Sunday.

Since then, I feel like he is struggling for things to do. We have done a theme park trip with friends & he & his brothers are with my mum tomorrow while I work, but other than that it's screens all the way.

He is at an international school, so 90% of his friends are away for the whole school holidays, visiting family abroad. He doesn't have many friends in the village, struggled at primary school. And understandably doesn't want to come with me & younger brothers on playdates. His usual activities- Scouts, football- have stopped for summer.

I'm hovering between leaving him to it, this is totally normal & contacting friends' mums, who I am friends with, to arrange get togethers! I feel like this is probably excessive! I also work 2.5 days per week, taking smaller brothers with me, so he's home alone those days.

Are your teens the same?!

14 year old. Not much unfortunately, too much time chatting online and gaming. He has 2 friends at school but they live 9 miles away in opposite directions. He got the train to see one last week and went ice skating with the other yesterday. Think all 3 may be meeting up next week for a youth club activity. I'm also off work next week too. So we plan to have a day out too. Definitely harder getting them out at this age, as he doesn't like doing days out much with us anymore.

DS (15) sleeps late and then stays on his room
gaming unless we organise something. We’ve been on a family holiday and he’s had a few weeks away sailing and seeing his grandparents. Apart from the he’s been to the gym a couple of times a week.

I think keeping to their rooms is pretty standard for this age op and they really do need the down time. It feels like they’re wasting their lives but actually they are on the go
so much during term time it does them no harm.

I organise something every other day and the nearly 16-year-old comes along. That can be swimming, ice skating, climbing, a shopping day, a day at the museum, a trip somewhere. I just take them along; it's never been an issue and they don't really get much of a choice if I have pre-booked something and paid already. The rest of the time they're either in their room (GCSE homework, watching shows, on the phone to friends, playing on the console) or out seeing friends.

When ds was that age he had army cadets camp plus would visit his dad's family 100 miles away. He did spend most of it sitting about though!

Young teen is tricky! My 16 yr old has been on a Uni course, away with us for a week and camping with friends, also has work shifts fitted throughout summer, cadet activities and preAlevel work to do. 13 yr old would fester in his room for 6 weeks. I’ve been sending him out to walk the dog, he has met up with a friend at the park a few times and he’s being sent to PGL with his cousins the last week. He doesn’t quite have the skills/motivation to organise stuff himself but too old to want to do trips out with me!

I've found the screens/gaming has eased off as my older one has got older (he's now 15). I'd say peak gaming was around the age of 12-13 and my younger one is right in the middle of this. The key for older one though has been local friends to do things with.

DD isn't up to much. It's been a wash out of a summer really with the weather.

We've had a couple of days out she's hooked up with her friends twice - but they don't seem bothered about doing anything either!

DD is either full on busy or in bed. She's 16 so quite independent in some ways. Anyway she's had two trips away with us, this week is doing a residential summer camp, and next week will be going to Reading Festival. She's also seen friends / gone out a few times when they've all been free, but lots of them don't live that near us and of course everyone's away / busy at different times. The best thing that has happened is that she's started reading books for pleasure!! I don't think she's really done that since she was a pre-teen in spite of all my nagging encouragement, so I'm delighted!

I think 12-14 is quite an awkward age where the transition from child to independent person capable of making social arrangements / organising themselves is the most difficult - especially with boys, so I'd say leave them to it but make it clear you are willing to help facilitate things they may want to do. Even if it's going to McDonald's or a movie with any available mate to get out of the house.

2 early teen girls. One introvert one extrovert.

We've been away for a week and in my second week off they have done stuff with me like cinema, escape room etc plus we have a theatre trip booked. That's been their big 'doing things' period.

Other than that, the odd trip out with mates, extrovert has gone on a sleepover and has another planned. Introvert went on one and took a week to recover! DH has taken them to a few small things like mini golf.

Introvert has done a heap of reading and some online gaming. She keeps in touch with mates via phone calls/messaging rather than seeing them and does have days where she will just spend the day in her room. She needs these to recharge so I leave her to it.

Extrovert gets bored. She is much more likely to want to go out with mates or be entertained by me if I'm around. Her mates have been away a lot so no rest for poor mum....

Well, it's the end of school holidays (back on Thursday) & DS has met up with friends precisely five times of his own volition 😏 A few more occasions we have met up as family groups or for football training (started back this weekend). He also said he has tried to arrange things a couple of times but they have fallen through, but I'm not sure if he's just saying that.

I see such a difference in him when he spends time with people IRL. He is so much happier & more animated. Screens seem to make his mood flat or angry after too long. But this could just be teenage hormones. Hopefully I'm overthinking it all.

I find it so much easier with his 2 younger brothers. I can organise playdates/sleepovers with the parents & they are happy with days at the park.

I will be glad for DS1 when school/football/Scouts & normal routine is back.