Do you ever feel like you only socialise with people like yourself?

[Saphiron]

It seems that my friends and all my friends friends are the same as us. Oxbridge educated and in professional London jobs. You could put me in a room full of people and somehow I’d end up talking to the only other person who went to my university or in my profession. I want to be able to have a wider array of friends, but this always seems to happen.

I wonder, are other people equally drawn to people similar to themselves? If you are a postman or a nurse, are your friends very similar to yourselves?

Well I’m Oxbridge educated and practised my profession in London.

And I think you should maybe grow up and get over yourself … And for the love of God stop pointing out to postmen and nurses How Very Different they are to your extra special self. Have you any idea how it sounds?

@MarciaSaysANumber Have I hit a nerve dear?

Just imagining rooms full of postmen and nurses at parties vainly looking for people to talk to who aren’t in the same profession.

Not at all. My friends are all different ages and professions and come from all walks of life. Some are married, some have kids, some single and various races. My best mate is a 65 year old bloke (I am a 39 year old woman).

Oh yikes this shows some lack of breadth in your life. Which I guess is why you've posted. Broaden your scene (if it bothers you, which it sounds like it does).

I have friends who are single parents on benefits, others are very wealthy and married or divorced. Age range probably 25-60s. Met them through jobs, parenthood, hobbies.

It shows that, even though you are well educated, you are not worldly.

You need to do something that involves a cross section of society

Running club, PTA (if not private school), volunteer at a food bank, library etc

Of course, everyone does this, because it is more comfortable. Everyone includes ethnic minorities, the ‘queer’ ….all the sacred castes.

But you are going to be slaughtered by the oh so inclusive virtue signallers here, who have friends across a wide social, age and belief spectrum ( as long as they toe the line , of course).

You know the rest of society makes it so that all of the Oxbridge crew have to hang out with each other forever don't you?

My best friends are similar to me in one way - working class girls off the council estate who ‘did good’. All went to Russell Group universities and have professional careers (law, medicine, CEO of a large charity). But we are different in other ways - race and religion, for example.

I’ve collected other close friends over the years from all walks of life, so no, I don’t only socialise with people ‘like me’. I would find that extremely dull.

My friends are from quite different walks of life but I think it's more common for birds of a feather to flock together.

And that’s not virtue signalling. My mum was the sane. We grew up around all sorts of characters.

My friends are all very different in terms of backgrounds and age and life experiences but all of them are similar in the sense of a dark sense of humour and ability to empathise.

I think it depends how you spend your time - the more exposure you have to people the more likely you are to become friends I guess

Yes, I most definitely would like a wider array of friends. That’s why I asked the question, not to look down on others as a PP suggested.

It's a fair enough question, in spite of people's chippy responses. I could have said similar to you about my non-work social circle when I used to live in London, OP but as a teacher my work friends were quite a lot more varied in background (except when I worked at a private school). Now I live in the rural NW I meet far fewer people who have a lot in common with me background-wise.

How on earth do you know what university people you meet went to? That's such a bizarre thing to talk about in 'a room full of people'. I mean, I might eventually know which uni a friend went to but in the main I've no idea if they even did, unless they have a job which requires a degree.

I have a wide range of friends.

Some of those friends live in tiny council flats that they rent and some of them live in 10-15 million pound houses.

Most of my friends go back a very long way.

Politically I guess most are similar to me.

My friends are similar to me because we share interests, life experiences, hobbies, have worked together or volunteered together. In that sense they are like me, but they're a range of ages, have a range of religious beliefs, a range of jobs and I can't even tell you where some of them sent to school or university.

I do in a way - all my friends are what you would call 'average' in terms of the types of jobs they do, mostly live in average houses (3 bed semis), mostly working class or lower middle-class, varied ages but mainly middle-aged, differing ethnic backgrounds .

I don't think I know anyone who is Oxbridge educated in a professional London job though !

My friends are all people who work in accounts in offices, grew up in rural areas like me.

I try to speak with a cross section of society but e.g. at a running club, I will link in with the one person who works in accounts. I only find out this about them afterwards. It is like I am drawn to certain people and then find out they are like me.

No, I have friends from all different walks of life.

I have a circle of friends from all walks of life and a huge variety of occupations, many of whom I have met through a hobby.

That's what you need OP, a hobby. Preferably one where the participants meet regulary. Art, rock choir, photography, amateur radio, historical re-enactments, orchid growing, anything really - and ideally something that doesn't rely on members having deep pockets.

I met my DH at Uni so our large group of common pals are very much the educated professional types. I have an old school friend who I rarely see but am always in touch with and she is very working class background, married a farmer and has a very different life to me but we are surprisingly similar. The reality is all my friends are irish Catholic like me, mostly middle class. I grew up in a place with no diversity (ireland in 80s and 90s) so it's only natural that that's who I know. I think its the same for most people, it depends on where you grow up.

I took a new job a few years ago after retraining, it's a low paying caring sector which ironically I can only afford to do cos my DH is doing so well but it has introduced me to a much wider range of people. I enjoy hearing the different life stories and perspectives.

I don't think it's fair to have a go at someone for their limited circle, we are all a bit trapped in our own lives and I think hats off to OP for wanting to broaden her life a bit.

I can speak to people very easily as I'm interested in them and their lives, experiences, and choices.

I have a lot of interests and hang around with a few different kind of people.

But my best friends are like me in that we all have children who we are focused on, and enjoy the same activities with and without them, plus we have gone through many experiences over the years and been and are very close.

But I make new friends easily as I like to have friend groups for each of my interests.