Ridiculous/annoying phrases that wind you up/make no sense

[MakeMineAdoubleChocolate]

I will start.

-Hate cigarettes being called fags.

-The London term, bare, referring to lots, but in reality means nothing, like bare minimum. So when they say there were BARE people at the museum, do they mean none or naked!

-Allow it fam! Another London term, where people will say that when they want something to stop. But 'allow it' surely means let it continue, haha.

-Beggars belief/isn't it meant to be it begs belief?.... someone correct me if I am wrong? ....

-boils my p#*s. Makes me feel sick thinking of a pot of urine on the stove being boiled.

-chest of draws/ chester draws. Its bloody drawers!

-the classic 'i brought it from the shop'

-my mother used to shout out Pure Filth in her Irish accent, if the house wasn't tidy. It wasn't even that bad, but she hated mess and if there was an empty glass on the table and a magazine left on the floor or a crisp wrapper, she would call the house a mess and that we (US SIBLINGS) were happy to live in PURE FILTH. Bearing in mind, the two don't exactly go together. 'LOOK AT THIS PURE FILTH! GOD FORGIVE YE!'

-Men referring to each other as Bruv. I don't mind bro, mind you.

'Caught pregnant'

Here here @EdgeOfACoin WE ARE HAVING A BABY/EXPECTING A BABY! are both perfectly fine. L

@WandaWonder someone referred to my husband of 18 years and father of my 6 children as BABY DADDY. I still haven't responded to that email.

In fact it was not hi, hello, how are you, it was literally a screenshot of a work place and then, does your baby daddy work here?

Errggghhhhh

My boss uses (frequently);
"Going forward."
"It is what it is."
"Let's take this offline." (meaning, "let's talk about this later")
"What are the learnings from this?"

Obviously I don't know what phrases I use that annoy other people. I have recently banned myself from starting any emails with "Just...." as that also annoys me unreasonably.

People saying “ Can I get” as if they’re in The USA.
People saying “ Perfect” - younger customers at my till say it so much!
Lemondrizzlecake absolutely with you on the “ Turned around & said”! Drives me nuts! Apparently my friend’s Dad used to reply “ What are they a fuckin’ ballet dancer?”!! 🤣

‘In any way, shape or form’.

Also ‘see you later’ when they really mean goodbye

and a colleague used to answer customer service calls and say ‘please be rest assured we will be dealing with this….’ Argh! ‘Please rest assured’ (old fashioned but accurate) or ‘please be assured’ but not both!

Actually it’s hear, hear! As in ‘we hear you.’

Oh, and 'brought it' instead of 'bought it'.

Tennis commentators on TV saying, ‘Close the match out’ when they mean ‘win’.

People saying literally.

'I literally died' ermmmmm ..... ok!

'I won't lie...'
I suppose it's just the modern equivalent of 'to be honest', but every time I hear it I think 'but why would you like about that anyway?', especially as it's usually about something completely uncontroversial.

What’s your problem with chest of drawers? That’s what it is! It’s not just drawers it’s a chest of them.

Didn't want to read and run...
It's more nuanced than that 🤢
In the time of .... (e.g. COVID)

Oh my gosh... This! This! Yes I hate it. I also dislike

"thanks for reaching out"

"I'm here for it"

I have no idea why

Oh just thought of another one that makes my blood boil. When a flight or similar is delayed "We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause."
It's the use of the word "may". Why not just apologise, rather than implying that it may not have caused any inconvenience at all ? Even if your plans are just to lie on a lilo once you get there, being delayed still means you have x hours less to do it.

'Grandbaby' instead of grandchild.

I hate the term 'grow your business', it doesn't sound right. You expand your business, you grow a plant. Your business can grow like your child grows, but you don't grow them!

Describing items of clothing as a piece

This sometimes stops me actually buying the clothing! So ridiculous, especially when it's a polyester tshirt for £5.99.

Have only ever heard 'boils my piss' on here. Don't think it's used in the real world.

I don't mind corporate speak 'the optics', 'circling back' etc. Appreciate I'm one of the few! :)

'The proof is in the pudding'. No it isn't as that doesn't even make sense.

Exactly. The correct phrase is "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" meaning the real value of something can be judged only from practical experience or results and not from appearance or theory.

He borrowed me some money...

Jesus, what a miserable lot.

Wow @ThreeKneeRepeater I didn't know that. I thought it was here, here as in here, I agree.

Anyone want to explain Bold as Brass!

Don't hear that one much. Must be just you @LylaLee :)

So many that have been mentioned. Particularly 'fags', hate that.
Plus:

• Change his/her bum. Boobed/boobing/boob monster. Little man. Babba.
• Buttery soft. A tee (as opposed to a t-shirt).
• Crusty bread. All the trimmings.
• Sibset.
• This ^ Love this one. Precious. Precious times, precious moments, precious memories.

And a lot more really, my tolerance is low.