Parenting in London - positives?

[Mariposa26]

We live on zone 2/3 border and have a 6 month old DD. We enjoy an active social life, and really loved London up until now. Currently all I can think about is getting her out of London - comparing it to my childhood where my family dropped by every day, where I played out with friends after school and knew everyone locally…things I feel she will never experience here. I feel that I want to move back to the NW, but my partner will never go for it.
Can anyone share positive stories of raising kids in London and the London lifestyle? All I hear is negatives, and it’s getting me down. She will be in nursery full time too (or possibly a 9 day fortnight)
Thank you!

@chopc https://museummum.com/2023/07/14/summer-london-2023/ for an idea.

We are z6 so bit further out that some of you but it's so easy to jump on a train and go to a museum or show. It's also really affordable. I can get a cheap ticket for the theatre for myself and even with travel it's only £20/£25.

My oldest is 15 and loves just being able to jump on a tube and go into London to browse shops or grab food.

My youngest is 12 and can now navigate a few local buses so can meet up with friends and go shopping independently.

Chattier take on school performance here:

https://educationblog.buckingham.ac.uk/2020/07/29/why-are-schools-in-london-so-successful-by-barnaby-lenon/

Another thing is SEND provision- it's not as good as it should be and Borough dependent (I have a child with SEND) but it's a lot better than most places in the UK and we have access to things like specialist youth groups, quiet sessions etc if needed.

You could end up a bit stuck. In the massive rural county I grew up in there is no specialist ASD provision at all.

@Croissantsandpistachio perhaps it's just perception as I know so many people who panic at move at or switch to private at secondary.

I have moved out and commute in (and don’t regret it) but you can’t deny the opportunities in London. My children love coming in but it is something as a treat and not always something I want to do. For example, I was looking at the royal institution holiday workshops. For 2 hours they look brilliant and if I was in London, my eldest would have definitely been to a couple this year. I haven’t done it as not sure I fancy the trip in with my youngest and then pottering with her. it feels like something I’d want to plan properly for next year rather than something spontaneous to do.

If your child is really good at anything in the arts chances are they’ll end up in Saturday school in London. The opportunities re music are just so much greater even than the Home Counties. If we had to later on, this is something we could consider but would feel like much harder work.

These threads always seem to present it as London v a rural backwater. In reality there are plenty of places that are commutable that still give access to some of the London benefits or other cities that can provide lots of the benefits listed but there are some things that are unique about living there.

I grew up in London, zone 2 and "played out with friends after school and knew everyone locally" This was the 1970-80s so potentially left to our own devices more. I loved it. Things may have changed.

Yes and excellent schools and same day GP

Great community vibe

Not to say people can’t find what they want outside London but these are what I like about being here

I grew up in zone 2 and now live rurally (more DH's choice than mine!). I could get around easily on public transport and walk to school, whereas my DC have to be driven everywhere and get the bus to school.

I was going to say this. My poor mother has to wait 3 weeks whereas I can get an appointment on the day in London since I moved back to London. The education in the state sector is also excellent.

I moved from zone 2 to a seaside town during secondary and the first thing that struck me was how unambitious all my friends were. Only a few went uni and guess what, they moved to London after graduating finding their jobs. The rest stayed in the seaside town most doing drugs, having kids from several people, going to the same pub, same cafe and same seaside. The only thing the countryside has given me is forcing me to take driving lessons as the busses were once an hour but now in London I don't even need that.

I'm so glad I'm back in London and my 4yo is living his best life. Since pre school last year, we have kept in touch with all his little friends going to the parks after school, arranging play dates at the parents' health clubs that have soft play where they can invite a guest on a rainy day, going to kids theatre and the amazing museums.

@Mariposa26 I have several friends who live in London and I am unsure how many free activities their kids participate in. When the kids were small, both parents worked and kids were in nursery full time and the weekend was to catch up with life and any friends / family. As the kids got older the weekends were full of birthday parties and other kids activities. Overall I dont think time existed for all the supposedly free activities.

I think life with small kids is the same in most places. However if you live in a town outside London, you will almost always need a car whereas you have more options with regards to transport in London. Having said that I don't think you would save yourself time

My kids have that village life in London - we know all of our neighbours and surrounding streets, people pop in and out and there’s always a party/someone going to be park/play date swaps for childcare as no one drives to school so no issue collecting extras. now the eldest has started walking to school she knows everyone walking past. Yes crime is high right now - phone snatching is off the chart where we are, but so much is good. My kids sail after school once per week, do park run, swim all council run, and very cheap, canoe club is £5 per day on the holidays. We have amazing state schools, girls particularly, and world class hospitals- my dc was diagnosed with a rare metabolic condition and is treated at GOSH a short bus ride away. Loads of free stuff - turbine hall will be your friend, and a much mess car dependent lifestyle.

@QueenofFox where did your dc sail? that sounds fab i

My kids are adults now but loved their childhood in London. They got free travel. There's nowhere they can't navigate themselves to because they learned all the bus routes as kids.

We spent a few months living rurally when I had a change in job and they hated it and couldn't wait to get back because they became totally reliant on me giving them lifts!

Only big downside for them now is they can't afford to rent anywhere yet as the rent is so ludicrous but they are working and saving money and looking to move out in around a year or so's time.

I didn’t see much advantage until they were old enough to walk around a lot and we could ditch the pram. Once that happened, we had everything we could need. We go to the museums or famous landmarks with no notice and I love it .. My DC for instance can be reading a book or watching a TV programme that will visit something in London and we can just go oh, do you want to see that? Ok put on your shoes then and we’ll go.

When they get older I think it’ll be less touristy stuff and more pop up restaurants or food stalls and interesting things to find.

Oh yes and the sort of village life and popping into see friends thing you get anyway once they start school as people tend to live within a fairly small radius. We bump into someone from school about two thirds of the time we leave the house!
I actually love that side of it too. We can hop on the bus / train / tube and be anonymous and do what we want but equally we can walk down the road for ice cream and wave to about 5 people we know.

@dramoy yes, I think people do panic unnecessarily (and then make others panic). Of course the vast majority of London kids do go to state school so it's a tiny, specific demographic anyway.

Mine are tween / young teens now and I'm excited about what London has to offer them over the next few years. My DH grew up in the countryside and hated it from 12 onwards. Limited things to do and he had to rely on his parents to drive him everywhere. Mine can jump on a bus and soon a train / tube to access an abundance of activities. My borough does free activities for teens in the summer holidays. We go to gigs, the theatre.
We love it!

Interesting thread. London sounds amazing to grow up in.

People make London what it is.

I grew up in south staffs and had a very sheltered white life. I escaped as soon as I hit 18 and haven’t been back. I wouldn’t want my children growing up there.

The opportunities for learning in London are endless. From free museums, music, galleries, to fantastic green spaces, and of course the rich diversity.

a couple of weeks ago we had to go into central to pick up some bits and we stopped off in Leicester Square, which typically would be a mistake, but the Royal Opera House were showing 30minute screenings of classic Operas, my children were mesmerised. It was a glorious moment of peace in a very chaotic space.

obvious downsides are the crime. You have exceptional wealth living next to exceptional poverty. People are only two bad money decisions away from losing everything. It’s so expensive that if your household income slips, you can find yourself in trouble fast.

London Metropolitan Police are such a failure, if you do want to report a crime, they either won’t show up, can’t do anything, or can’t be trusted to help. That concerns me massively. My neighbour was attacked by a police officer after reporting a mugging, she has been offered substantial hush money, he is still working.

I also worry about drug use. I know the problem is across the UK, but we have stopped going to one park because the was always dirty drug paraphernalia all over the floor. Lots of kids getting involved in it as a means to make money. Perhaps if drugs at the lower end are legalised it would make an improvement but maybe not.

All in all, I wouldn’t leave London, you would just be swapping one shit thing for another, there are pros and cons, and if you mind your own business then you will be fine.

Should mention schools- primary schools (not experienced secondary yet) are phenomenal. My daughter is 8 years old, she plays an instrument to a really high grade, can record music on the computer, and confidently performs to a crowd of 80. She goes to a normal local state school.

Stick to it! As your LO gets older you can take advantage of more of what London has to offer. My toddler and I have gone to so many free museums, playgroups, parks and he loves it! Couldn’t imagine him growing up without access to everything London has to offer.

I honestly thought that these days it was standard to have to wait 3-4 weeks for a GP appointment. To get one the same day you request it is probably the best reason to stay in London (actually not joking!)

We live in zone 1 with an eight year old and a toddler, as others have said there are really countless things to do, many being free. Even on really crap weather days in winter there are plenty of things available to keep anyone entertained. Lots of very nice and well kept parks, very good schools, we find an ease of access to both GPs ans NHS dentists. School catchments, especially for primary are generally very small, so my son has lots of very local friends so he can walk to their home and vice versa and only cover a very short distance. He has three friends who live so close I can watch him walk to theirs just by looking out of the window.

We are leaving London, we love London and where we live in London, but we no longer wish to live in the UK, so we are swapping London for another city.

@Croissantsandpistachio I went to a London state secondary buys it's just my observation as i've become a parent.

I’m visiting family in a city full of exiles who came back home for a family friendly lifestyle. They have a fairly deep seated horror about their kids mixing with people Not Like Them and go to great lengths to avoid it. The London kids (and to be fair, most big city kids) seem to be able to cope with a much wider variety of social backgrounds and behaviours without batting an eyelid.