Parenting in London - positives?

[Mariposa26]

We live on zone 2/3 border and have a 6 month old DD. We enjoy an active social life, and really loved London up until now. Currently all I can think about is getting her out of London - comparing it to my childhood where my family dropped by every day, where I played out with friends after school and knew everyone locally…things I feel she will never experience here. I feel that I want to move back to the NW, but my partner will never go for it.
Can anyone share positive stories of raising kids in London and the London lifestyle? All I hear is negatives, and it’s getting me down. She will be in nursery full time too (or possibly a 9 day fortnight)
Thank you!

Lots of cool things to do with kids especially pub culture- there aren't many places out of London where you go to the pub at the weekend as a gang and meet your mates there in the same family friendly way you do in London.

Do kids still do this? pubs are closing at an alarming rate & fake ids don't tend to pass these days!

Please could you all share the free stuff to do in London?

The other benefit is schools. Contrary to popular belief, London has the best schools in the country,

secondary schools?

I meant as a parent with your kids. We used to live in Walthamstow and there were a few really good pubs that were properly family friendly and everyone used to meet on a weekend afternoon for drinks and the kids would play. It's far less common outside of London.

V&A Museum of Childhood was my daughter's favourite when she was younger.

Also the Natural History museum- especially the basement room where you can touch everything .
also brilliant:

Science Museum
Transport Museum
The (less known but brilliant) comics museum

In North London - Bruce Castle museum and the free arts & crafts sessions.

Those are just the obvious options but there are countless free activities all over London.

@overitunderit I've always found when we've visited friends outside of London or been on holiday that the local pub is the place to be as there isn't really another option.

In London we used to meet fairly regularly with friends but it could be the park, pub, lido etc As the dc get older though weekends tend to become busy with parties & activities ime.

Also kids definitely still play out and meet up in London. My daughter's best friend lives in Notting Hill and meets her friends after school at the local playground 🛝

We moved to a small town ‘for the kids’ last year. Big mistake - we are racing back to the city as soon as we can. Cities are amazing places for kids. And if you’ve been enjoying London you’ll miss it A LOT.

One thing to watch out for - the idea that living near family will guarantee that they spend lots of time with your DC. We moved here thinking the grandparent connection would be amazing and envisaged DS going fishing with his grandad, etc - well we couldn’t have been more wrong, they have very busy independent lives and only pop in for the occasional coffee. So back to the city we go.

There are endless free stuff to do outside London too. Both winter and summer. Your DD childhood is what you make of it.

I have to say the positive is from teen years onwards. The availability of public transport means teen can get around without parents giving lifts everywhere. It’s not uniquely London but I know you are comparing with being child in a quieter place.

lol. There are definitely other options. In fact there are so many better options outside of London (at least where we are) than we ever had in London.

Also find it charmingly insular when people in London talk about how fantastic their parks are like there aren't any decent parks or green space outside of London. I used to imagine the same then moved out of London and our local park is genuinely better than anything I would have paid to get into in London. Even has a paddling pool in the middle of it. Added to that the genuine greenery we have.

I think there are probably many positives to living in london with kids and as an adult I do miss it but I really hand on heart think it's better outside of london. We didn't have to put our name down onto a nursery list before our baby was even born; our state schools are numerous and excellent; it's safe and the air is clean; there is plenty to do and places to go (sorry Londoners that's not just london!); family nearby etc etc

I'm not sure this is true? We live out of London (both kids born in london after 10 years of working/living in the city - we moved out when kids hit school age) and it's literally a tradition in our village to meet on Friday night/Sunday afternoon on village green/local pub. Not saying we wouldn't have had that in London (( and have very fond memories of my baby gang) but it's one of the things we love most in our village - the easy and relaxed get together at the weekend

I'm zone 2 with a 14yr old & 10 yr old.
So far this holiday my 14 yr old has done an SFX make up course & an outdoor Caribbean cooking course both free (summerversity) & my 10 year old has been at the local adventure playground about 3 x a week & has had bbq's, fire pit marshmallow toasting, water fights & just basically hung around in a supervised outdoor space making friends & it was also free.
There is a definite community where I live despite it being v central. I'd love a bigger space to live & a garden (we have a balcony) but I do enjoy bringing my children up here. We do have a car & venture out to big supermarkets etc, but have everything we need here.
We live in walking distance to a farm, some woods, a football stadium, shops, bowling alley, swimming pool, ice rink, cinema & a couple of local theatres & as pp have said we had no end of stay & plays etc when they were little.
I think the ability to escape the city to visit family in the countryside has maybe helped me to enjoy it so much though??

@chopc always worth looking on different Boroughs' websites. Many run regular free family and children's events. Mine has a full programme in the holidays and a great timetable at the children's centres too.

This is all so insightful - thanks so much!

I am only replying like I did because this thread is filled with posters who thinks the only thing to do outside London is the pub!

There are lidos, parks and playgrounds too. There are even cinemas, trampoline parks, climbing walls, ice skating rinks, bowling alleys, escape rooms. Shocking isn’t it.

London has better museums and theatres. But elsewhere has better access to country parks and beaches. Parents elsewhere will take their kids to what’s available locally.

No saying London isn’t great for kids. I grew up in a big city (overseas, and have a reputation of being very happening). DH in the country side with pet lamb and kids drinking in farms. We both love our childhoods. DH thinks rural upbringing is better for young kids but I disagree with him. The most important thing are loving parents.

Also kids definitely still play out and meet up in London.

I'm sure they do, they just didn't anymore in the part I grew up in. It's been hugely gentrified, it's far less diverse too. At least 70% everyone on my childhood road was a 1 or 2nd gen immigrant (including me) now it's pretty much all white British.

@berkshirebanger yes that's been my experience whereas most of the pubs in my part of London have closed down.

I am only replying like I did because this thread is filled with posters who thinks the only thing to do outside London is the pub!

That's certainly not what I said.

There are lidos, parks and playgrounds too. There are even cinemas, trampoline parks, climbing walls, ice skating rinks, bowling alleys, escape rooms. Shocking isn’t it.

No one is shocked by that but just like every part of London doesn't have those things not everyone outside has them in walking distance either.

All of this. Also great schools. Mine are adults now and all still in London for work, so they have school, university and work and club friends. Their work friends from out of London don’t have that support. When they move houseshares they can come home for a bit before regrouping. And of notice my young colleagues from out of London don’t have that support- it’s invaluable.
Stay put.

Also healthcare- I can also get a GP appointment on the day and world class hospitals here. I’ve sadly had a recent family out of town healthcare experience and it was awful. I really felt my relative was neglected in a way that wouldn’t happen here.

I have two kids. Zone 3. London is great for kids. So much to do. They are brought up with kids from all over the world and experience different cultures. The primary schools are generally very good and you make lots of new friends through school and nursery. After 10 years here, I finally feel routed.

Down side is cost. I never have any money at the end of the month. Childcare is horrendous. Housing is horrendous. We have a doer upper which I can't see us ever doing up. Not compatible with kids. Living away from family is hard as you have no support. Babysitters are expensive so you can't go out much.

A big thing for me is retaining my career. when kiids are less work I hope I can actually focus on it again. Opportunities in my industry are focused here. I also bore easily I like two fact I can change job easily and tgst you can work in a dh

The pollution is horrific. The crowds and traffic a nightmare. The rest good!

Family obviously depends on whether they're nearby, whether you're in London or not. There's plenty of community in London though despite living here, it was once I became a parent that I felt part of it. It's harder to find it, I think, if you don't have children.

I also think it very much depend where you are... we moved from zone 2 to rural Berkshire/Oxfordshire borders. But we can get to Westfield in Shepherd's Bush in about the same time as my sister who is in Wimbledon, I commute in to the city 2-3 times a week in about 1 hr 15 mins, so a red d continued to "use" many of the facilities of London - theatres, museums , events, shops, restaurants etc. I suppose very different to living mines from a big city and feeling insular. I still feel like a Londoner at heart - albeit one who lives surrounded by fields and farmers

I have baby same age, I almost moved to countryside before he was born but split with partner and didn't. I grew up in London so community and family is my main draw to staying here! But I also have new London friends too that I've made on mat leave - lots of new people to choose from to be friends with is a definite plus. Some things I was worried about leaving when I was planning to leave apart from people-

• delivery services for food /groceries
• my child befriending kids from families who are the mover and shaker types - successful in their business and building those kind of connections, being inspired to have great jobs
• culture - there is always something cool on to see or do with kids or for adults
• amazing restaurants
• any type of class or sports for kids - rowing? Karate? Pottery? They can do it all or whatever they like
• not having to drive! So much easier to just jump on a bus with a baby or walk to where you want to go.
• multicultural, exposing my kids to diffenet cultures and ways of living is important. I was worried about them only growing up around white Uk born people.
• I expect my flat to hold its value ok.
• I have options to change jobs easily here if I want to, less so in countryside.
• riverside walks and boat trips
• best hospitals. God for bid anything happens to me or baby but we're close to GOSH and all the specialist centres.
• easy to get to international airports
• growing up here I loved going on the tube to meet friends independently when a preteen /teen, it was great fun, felt safe and meant we could have adventures

@dramoy especially secondary schools:

https://www.london.gov.uk/sites/default/files/chapter_2.pdf