In my toddlers standards I was unacceptable today.

[BrokeTheToddlersHeart]

Tonight, I was getting my DD1 to sleep and I was absolutely unacceptable in her standards.

I didn't let her poke me in the eye! She had already stolen my glasses off my face so I removed them. She went into absolute melt down. Oh the audacity of wanting to keep my eyes.

Anybody else been utterly unacceptable by their toddlers standards today?

Diva 6 year old made me a beautiful picture. She then asked what can I do now. I suggested she do another picture for me to go on the wall, etc.

Well, you would think I had told her to live in a tent. Hands on hips. Loudest screamy voice. How dare you say I should make you another picture. What you are basically saying is that the one I just made for you isn't good enough. Stomps off and slams her door. I am clearly a dick.

I failed to produce a baby sister for my 2yo DD for Christmas after she put the request in on Christmas Eve even though i wasn't pregnant.

A friend's DD had an earth shattering meltdown because she couldn't take the snake painted on the playground tarmac home with her.

I started peeling the banana, after asking if she wanted help and receiving a positive response. Meltdown ensued because she wanted a banana, but definitely not that banana, but it was the only banana left in the house.

I refused to make more of the blackberries on the bush ripe enough to eat.

DD4 dropped a book on her foot. Cue rushing over to hit me and tell me IT WAS YOUR FAULT MUMMY YOU DROPPED IT ON MY FOOT. I’m sure the hitting and blaming will be funny once we’ve managed to stop it but right now I just want to yell “will you BEHAVE for once.” Obviously I actually model my calm feelings 🙄.

She was also calling DH and I “Bads” for a while so would stomp off to her room saying “well The Bads are just the worst parents EVER because they never let me do x. Oh look, I can see The Bads looking at me now. They are the worst parents.” The struggle was real not to laugh at her, which would obviously result in RAGE.

What colour grapes did you give her? Could she mean green grapes? On some (all?) Green grapes if you look closely they have little brown dots, so maybe she wanted green ones if you didn't give her green ones.

We've only been up 30 mins and already had a meltdown because I gave my 10mo the milk she wanted 🤦🏼‍♀️. Yesterdays worst one was because I wouldn't let her go out with her socks and shoes on her hands. Kinda glad i'm at work today haha

We've had a bottle in bed this morning, she threw it at my face when done I moved it and well that wasn't OK I should keep being hit. My child doesn't like my face it would appear.
Then my hand become her seat, I got cramp and moved my hand.
Is it nap time?

When DD was about 3 (she is 15 now) she wanted a biscuit
she got a biscuit
she ate the biscuit
then face down on the kitchen floor wailing with snot bubbles and hiccups
she MISSED HER BISCUIT

this went on for a decent half hour….

Mine are big now but my fave was DD1 being red in the face furious that daddy flushed the toilet after she had her first poo.

DS was incredulous that he wasn’t allowed to drive the car.

Oh another one… my youngest wanted fairy wings.
her birthday came up and aunty got her some wings
she unwrapped her gift and obviously immediately put them on and commenced fairying her ass off
that evening she was fuming and had a gigantic screaming session when she realised the wings were actually detachable and didn’t form part of her actual spine…

god I am such a bitch not implanting the wings into her spine

they are all coming back to me now…
also had one of them (can’t remember which one) who had one of those board books in the back of the car.
she wanted me to turn the page
i said I would in a bit
cue 30 minutes of NOOOOWWWWW

reader we were on the M25….

@Inarightpickleandpreserve
Section 10000 of the highways act states you may pull over ANYWHERE on the motorway to turn over the page of a toddlers book. Don't tell me your child knew better than you!!?

Wouldn’t accept an offering of my toddlers chip after he’d just stuck it up his nose.

Wanted boiled egg for breakfast.
Upset it had a yolk in it.

My two year old is actually quite easy going (she's going to be a terrible teen, isn't she?!) but over the last week I have stopped the 11 month old from eating:
Sand
Stones
Shells
A slug

All of these were unacceptable cruelty, though when her big sister kindly gave her a blackberry, she spat it straight back out again.

I also took the bubble wand she'd picked up and given to me and had the audacity to blow bubbles with it!

My DS recently screamed the place down for half an hour because his Willy wouldn't 'stand up' again like it does when he goes for a wee.
He was also absolutely furious with me because I told him he couldn't put his finger in the plug socket.
I also served him the exact lunch that he asked for. Which was apparently completely unacceptable.

Raspberries

My 2 year was apoplectic with rage this morning because she had told me to turn the big light off and I didn’t. Because we were outdoors and the ‘light’ was the sun! Unacceptable of me I know.

She wanted sweet potatoes!

I was told to go away.
I went away.

WAAAAAH YOU LEFT M-M-ME ALL A-A-AL-O-O-ONE!

I was about 12 feet away.

We should all report ourselves to social services. Ofsted new rating of 5: fucking shite, for us all.

Last year on a beach trip, younger daughter (3 at the time) threw a hissy fit because I wouldn't allow her to stuff handfuls of wet sand down older daughter (4)'s neck. It was a no win situation - destined to be found guilty of child cruelty either way!

@CassTheFox

I choked on my coffee when I read 'they were his friends' !!! 😂

Mystery solved - they were the mango grapes I got earlier in the week with a yellow sticker from M&S. To be fair, they were really nice, but they were £3.20 without the yellow sticker so she won't be getting them regularly!

I wouldn't take my toe off my foot or let him touch the dog poo.

I wouldn't let my 3 yo drive home from nursery ( not pretend drive he wanted to drive the car from nursery home). I am clearly a horrible human being