In my toddlers standards I was unacceptable today.

[BrokeTheToddlersHeart]

Tonight, I was getting my DD1 to sleep and I was absolutely unacceptable in her standards.

I didn't let her poke me in the eye! She had already stolen my glasses off my face so I removed them. She went into absolute melt down. Oh the audacity of wanting to keep my eyes.

Anybody else been utterly unacceptable by their toddlers standards today?

Today I wouldn’t stop the car in order to do up the strap on my two-year-old’s hat for her (again). Terrible mother. She screamed the whole journey, we did the hat up when we arrived at our destination and she took it off about a minute later 🤦🏻‍♀️

9year old accused me of child abuse because I asked him to use shampoo in his hair when having a bath this evening as it was full of hay and dust, we've spent the day bringing hay off from the fields and he looked like a scarecrow, how dare I 🤦‍♀️

Strawberries 🤷🏼‍♀️ lol

@HTruffle 😂😂😂😂 this one wins!

18mo DD's biggest meltdown today was because I wouldn't let her dive off the arm of the sofa headfirst.

I think you lot are all terrible people .

My three year old had drawn something and wanted my to cut it out for her. I agreed but then she went into a full on melt down because I was looking at it whilst cutting and the picture was supposed to be a surprise. Couldn't understand why I wasn't able to do it with my eyes closed!

Oh I remember that sort of situation.
I gave DC peanut butter on toast because they asked for peanut butter on toast. This was wrong. They wanted peanut butter on toast.

A few weeks later there were tears because I'd made spaghetti in sauce for tea. Should have learned from peanut butter gate that what they actually wanted was spaghetti.

I cut not one but three pears the wrong way and they wonder why I can't 'stick it together mammyyyyyy'

I stopped them running in front of a car which luckily had spotted him legging it up the car park from the play park and slowed down (we were not going toward the car park hence the reason he wasn't holding my hand) apparantly it would be OK because we could have a ride in an ambulance and if he went flat he would pop back out again like Mr Potato on toy story

Last week I stopped him running into the pool with no armbands.. He wanted to see how long it took Daddy to rescue him 🤷🏻‍♂️

His brother was awful enough to stop him diving from the back of the sofa head first to see if he can fly like a super hero. Cue a 15 minute melt down

Disclaimer - he is the ultimate danger child and we do our best to keep him safe.

My 3yo asked why daddy doesn't have boobies and I said because he's a boy..... cue 30 minutes of hysteria, only made worse when I offered him his favorite snack.
He eventually calmed down and asked to watch Mr Tumble at the fire station. I put it on. This was a mistake, and honestly I'm close to reporting myself to social services for being such a monster.

Looking after my niece at her house today, she cried twice because I declined the spoonful of fishfinger that she wanted me to eat.

The fishfinger in question had already been chewed and spat out onto the spoon by her, and also was definitely not new- I think she found it in the seat of her sisters highchair.

The additional tears came when I moved out of her way and she could no longer reach my nostrils which she desperately wanted to shove the fish and a spit ball up.

Yesterday at the park whilst DS was happily playing away on the splash pad. My DM and I thought it would be acceptable to buy an ice cream each to eat in peace whilst he played 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

As soon as he spooted us he came over and took not one, but both of them off us...

I left the buggy outside the teeny charity shop. It was absolutely not safe there!

Oh I remember those days!! Couldn't decide whether to be frustrated or amused.

I remember telling my mum about various incidents and her smiling 'that smile' and saying "<First name/Middle name>, you're paying for your raising".

And I'd gladly 'pay' again just to relive one of those precious days.

We went to McDonald’s for breakfast but DD ended up sat in touching distance of an uncovered fire alarm button which she was desperate to touch. No idea why but told her not to press it or the whole building would explode. 😂 Later on swapped seats with DH who also spotted her angling for the alarm. He also said don’t touch it or the whole place will explode. (wasn’t there when I’d said it earlier) Gave us a good laugh as we’ve clearly both lost the plot. DD then wanted to hold her own milk so ended up soaked and in her spare clothes. After lots of potty training madness I thought we’d cracked it but last few days refuses to admit to needing a wee ever. Waiting for the bus home DH proceeds to swing her up in the air. Soaked again. No spare clothes 😅 Luckily we’d just bought some joggers for winter. Cue speed change whilst trying not to miss the bus. Tonight I made pasta which is one of the only things she want for dinner at mo but unfortunately it didn’t look like the ‘normal’ pasta so was “yuck.” I then didn’t cut all the strawberries for pudding quickly enough whilst having “pudding, pudding!” shouted at me.

So many terrible parents on here. I just woke DH up by laughing out loud. I hope you feel guilty!

Not really a toddler but I expected my 4yo to go to bed by 11.....actually at 7.30ish but it seems even after several hours of complaining mummy still expects sleep which is totally unreasonable. Had a really hard day visiting relatives after a bereavement and could have used the downtime this evening. Oh well!

I had the audacity to ask my 3 year old if she needed the toilet...

I wouldn’t let me two year old drive my car

I wouldn’t let my toddler carry the bag of fresh, steamy dog poo that our labrador had just produced when we were out on a walk. Apparently I am mean.

Is this where mums around the country come to say how lovely their kids are ?
mine did a drawing for me the other day and wrote that I’m not the best mum so I’m not allowed cake. Punishment I should have for not allowing him to eat Pringles

Thank you, thank you!
Today I didn't let her buy a £7 (🤯) magazine in lidl, cut the ham wrap/melon wrong, asked her to get out the too big princess dress to go out in the very dodgy weather. But that's nothing on the other day, I gave her a broken cracker. Can I hand in my notice?!?

Mine went to bed late tonight too. I hope you get a lie in tomorrow

Reminds me of my unforgiveable sin of not calling the "pooooolice" on my inconsolable 3 year old. Therefore, she couldn't give them her imaginary "100 dollars to not arrest" her, at least I think it was her, although maybe she wanted to bail me out, I never did get to the bottom of it.

Too much American TV I think 🤣

Granddaughter had a tantrum because I wouldn't let her
Cover the lounge wall in stickers
Play with playdoh on the floor and tread it into the carpet.
Tie the cat in the dolls pram with a scarf.Cat scratched her so that was another meltdown.
Cut MY hair with nail scissors which I then took away to her deafening screams..
Go to the shop by herself to buy a potato(??) We have plenty of potatoes but she doesn't like any of them as they aren't pink.
She is 3. I am exhausted.

I picked up the poo that she had helpfully dropped by the side of the pool. She didn’t want it to ‘go away’ and I am a terrible parent for not letting her keep it.