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Original poster

What's the weirdest thing you've done that you look back and think 'WTF did I do that for?'

411 replies

BarbaraVineFan · 10/08/2023 19:20

I'll start - when I was in my first long term relationship at the fairly advanced age of 24, my partner and I used to regularly cook our dinner, then take it up to bed on a tray and sit there watching TV eating our dinner like Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! No discernible reason, there was a perfectly good telly and sofa downstairs 😐 I have no idea why we did it! Anyone else got something similarly weird to share?

OP posts:
Yetisrus29 · 12/08/2023 07:50

We used to call BT and ask if Buzby was there or if we could speak to Buzby. We thought it was hilarious.

Sunshineclouds11 · 12/08/2023 07:50

catscalledbeanz · 11/08/2023 21:55

I've told this story in here before- but when my pfb was born I was very over protective. This included pouring 100ml of baby shampoo DIRECTLY INTO MY OWN EYES to check it's "no more tears" credentials. This was more painful than the childbirth. I cried. A lot. It took near half an hour to wash out my poor eyes and bright light hurt my eyes for days. What's makes all of this worse, is that dd was bald. Until she was about 3.

😂😂😂😂

SeriousFaffing · 12/08/2023 07:55

blackpear · 11/08/2023 22:31

I felt bad about not wanting to talk to the Jehovah’s witnesses, so told them to come back on Saturday morning. They did. Every Sat morning for weeks they would keep ringing the bell and my flatmates were furious.

@blackpear I gave my telephone number to a Jehovah’s Witness because I was in a rush and felt guilty about not being able to offer my polite awkwardness on that occasion (they’re always so disarmingly nice)… You know how that worked out without me telling you…

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 12/08/2023 07:56

catscalledbeanz · 11/08/2023 21:55

I've told this story in here before- but when my pfb was born I was very over protective. This included pouring 100ml of baby shampoo DIRECTLY INTO MY OWN EYES to check it's "no more tears" credentials. This was more painful than the childbirth. I cried. A lot. It took near half an hour to wash out my poor eyes and bright light hurt my eyes for days. What's makes all of this worse, is that dd was bald. Until she was about 3.

You win! ( and you deserve to, because you are obviously very kind. Though possibly a bit rash).

amireallygoingtoadmitthis · 12/08/2023 08:01

First boyfriend. I was just out of school and at college, he was a few years older. I have no idea why but I was having a poo at his flat and decided to do it in a soap box and then tell him I had a present for him and handed over the box. He didn’t dump me (and yes I used that term on purpose). 🫣 Still mortified

BlowDryRat · 12/08/2023 08:01

Tootingbec · 12/08/2023 07:31

😂😂😂

This has made me laugh so much! It’s exactly the sort of thing I have - and sometimes continue to do - as a middle aged professional woman who talks to people FOR A LIVING!! 😂😂😂

Early in my career I was at work with a group of other graduate trainees and one of them mentioned over lunch that she “likes horses”.

Instead of murmuring “oh how interesting” or something, I start sniggering and making “f’nar f’nar, you like horses eh? Horses? You like them, eh??”

Everyone (including the girl who has made the remark) just looked at me oddly and then everyone sort of turned away from me and continued to have a normal conversation.

I am cringing now 30 years later about what possessed me to turn a perfectly innocent remark into some kind of weird sexual innuendo. I clearly thought that I could ingratiate myself with the group with my witty banz.

I was like Alan Partridge on speed 😂

Show quote history

DH has just told me off for shaking with laughter and disturbing him while he's trying to sleep 😂

ErmWhatever · 12/08/2023 08:01

I remember reading the baby shampoo post at the time. So funny.

When my pfb was around 10ish months their dad gave them paper to play with. An argument ensued, in which I insisted that it was dangerous as the risk of paper cuts was too high. For a compromise, I allowed exactly 3 sheets of paper, over 10 minutes of play time to be designated. But not after I had spent 10 minutes playing with, ripping, scrunching, and swiping the sharp edge of paper over my own hands to ascertain the likelihood of paper cuts. I mean... What. The. Fuck 😂

Alwaystired2023 · 12/08/2023 08:02

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 11/08/2023 18:41

I held my tiny, weeks old, beautiful goddaughter. And yelled Boo at her causing her to, obviously, cry loudly

Shes now 5 and has no long lasting effects but I do stop and thing “what the fuck were you doing”

Worst part is I’ve been a nanny for 15 years so I’m not clueless on babies

I'm sorry but this made me laugh so much and sounds like the sort of thing I would do

YoSof · 12/08/2023 08:07

amireallygoingtoadmitthis · 12/08/2023 08:01

First boyfriend. I was just out of school and at college, he was a few years older. I have no idea why but I was having a poo at his flat and decided to do it in a soap box and then tell him I had a present for him and handed over the box. He didn’t dump me (and yes I used that term on purpose). 🫣 Still mortified

You shit in a box and gave it to your boyfriend?!

YoSof · 12/08/2023 08:08

@amireallygoingtoadmitthis posted to soon, that’s made me laugh and cringe for you at the same time 😂

ErmWhatever · 12/08/2023 08:13

@Tootingbec It doesn't get any better that this. Such an uncomfortable read. Such perfect cringe.

boobearandme · 12/08/2023 08:13

@KindLynx 😂

Baconsandwich33 · 12/08/2023 08:14

I went on a trip to Brussels, had a very early flight, the bus didn't turn up, I couldn't afford a taxi as it was around 50 euros. I decided to walk through the night to get to the airport. Stupid idea, I knew I wouldn't make it on time. I decided to ask a stranger for a lift as I was desperate and he accepted. Luckily he did just take me straight to the airport. Could have been a different ending, I can't believe how stupid I was. And I was 28!

QOD · 12/08/2023 08:16

Busubaba · 11/08/2023 21:36

A lovely trip down memory lane.

I collected recipe cards and every week and the folders to put them in

I had a dinner part for 4-8 guests and made a three course meal from using the recipe recipe cards.

I was addicted to it.

When our guests arrived, friends and family, the men would go in the sitting room and chat about football etc and the women would sit in my dining room whilst I scurried about in the kitchen and they could view me through the open doorway.

They would be as excited as me and would read the cards and ask to borrow them or if they also collected the cards would talk about what they made.

It was like a huge big weekly event and my partner who belonged to a wine club would select the wines. I don't drink so I wasn't involved in that.

We would all dress up and look glamorous even though we were only in my house!

It seems funny looking back at it but ordering a take away in those days wasn't really an option. We all cooked and baked.

The sad thing is that most of those people are now dead.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224671090616?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338749367&toolid=20006&customid=GB11224671090616.146402343561~1871060449859-gCj0KCQjwuNemBhCBARIsADp74QQERNqDiCvBtQH1dUnEaO8Rn3kwOU9eEM5ufBh-Pth67aj6LSnGkCgaAsrsEALwwwcB

omg I had those too!

JusthereforXmas · 12/08/2023 08:18

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 11/08/2023 18:41

I held my tiny, weeks old, beautiful goddaughter. And yelled Boo at her causing her to, obviously, cry loudly

Shes now 5 and has no long lasting effects but I do stop and thing “what the fuck were you doing”

Worst part is I’ve been a nanny for 15 years so I’m not clueless on babies

I did that with my baby brother... more than once. In my defense I was 10 and have neurological disorders that made me exceptionally impulsive as a child.

I have managed not to do it with any of my own children though.

DungareesAndTrombones · 12/08/2023 08:19

Omg this still makes me die. Broke up with my ex a long old time ago and I was looking for a new place to live. Didn't drive so he was kind enough to drive me to a flat viewing. It was (understandably) frosty in the car so when I got out I was so flustered I forgot which flat it was. Pressed what I thought was the number buzzer but no answer, wracked my brain and thought it might be a different one. Pressed that one and said hi I'm here to view the flat and they buzzed me in. Super.

Got to the flat and things were a bit awks, with them saying I was early ? And they weren't really showing me about, just standing there awkwardly. They asked me if there was any paperwork to fill in and then it dawned on me that they thought I was an estate agent come to view their flat to value it 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Instead of admitting my mistake what I did was say oh yes the paperwork is in my car ? And I zoomed down to the car park, got back into exes car and just went home. Bet they thought what in the fuck when I just didn't go back??

n3wnamewhodis · 12/08/2023 08:19

Aged 15 I was flirting with a boy I fancied in the bit round the back of the gym at school where all the smokers hung out. I lit the wrong end oh my cigarette. Desperate not to lose face, I smoked the entire thing.

boobearandme · 12/08/2023 08:20

@Sierra26 😂this one has really got me 🤣

WhatInTheFuckery · 12/08/2023 08:21

Some of these are brilliant, shouting boo at the baby had me in tears😂

When I was maybe 5/6, I stood in front of my whole class and sang Evergreen - Will Young. Fuck knows why or what I was thinking, I was usually a very shy, quiet child and had just started this primary school

RicherThanYews · 12/08/2023 08:26

My childhood wasn't the greatest and often I would not have anything to eat as there was no food in the house. In order to distract myself from the hunger I would read books that contained vivid descriptions of food to live vicariously through the characters. I remember The Famous Five being one of them because their picnics were huge, there was also my dog eared copy of James and the Giant Peach and if I felt truly masochistic I would read an enormous recipe book with full colour pictures. I was an odd child though.

InstaThrowaway · 12/08/2023 08:30

A boy I really fancied at uni, who was friends with my flatmates had recently broken up with his girlfriend.

It was the first week of term and we had a class together where we were the only person the other knew. During the class he invited me over to his for Mexican food. Anyway, me being the utter prat that I am said ‘oh great I’ll see if Jane and sue are free as well’ (my flatmates) and he went along with it. So there’s me thinking we’re having a dinner party.

So we all turn up that evening. His flatmates are there too. We have a nice time, I stayed after for some more drinks but everyone else dissipated. Nothing happened between us that night (the rest is a long story for another thread!)

Anyway, it transpired about two years later when he told me that he was actually trying to ask me on a date. And the poor boy went from asking me on a date to hosting a full blown dinner party with 8 people to save face. Mortifying (and also gutting!)

Sunshineclouds11 · 12/08/2023 08:32

This is the best thread in awhile. I have cried laughing.

Cabbagey · 12/08/2023 08:35

I think I need to stop reading this thread; it's giving me the vibes of a chain email curse. I feel like I'm going to be the next person who sees an empty lightbulb socket and is inexplicably compelled to jab their fingers into it for absolutely no reason.

ThreeRingCircus · 12/08/2023 08:37

When I was about 12 I was playing with my friend in her garden, we were playing with Barbies and making up stories about them. Her neighbour spotted us over the garden fence and my friend held up her Barbie and said "this is our Spanish exchange student, Maria." Her neighbour misunderstood and thought I was the Spanish exchange student and asked where abouts in Spain I was from. Rather than correcting her I inexplicably said in a terrible fake Spanish accent the only place in Spain I knew........Benidorm. 🤣

Centralperky · 12/08/2023 08:45

Busubaba · 11/08/2023 21:36

A lovely trip down memory lane.

I collected recipe cards and every week and the folders to put them in

I had a dinner part for 4-8 guests and made a three course meal from using the recipe recipe cards.

I was addicted to it.

When our guests arrived, friends and family, the men would go in the sitting room and chat about football etc and the women would sit in my dining room whilst I scurried about in the kitchen and they could view me through the open doorway.

They would be as excited as me and would read the cards and ask to borrow them or if they also collected the cards would talk about what they made.

It was like a huge big weekly event and my partner who belonged to a wine club would select the wines. I don't drink so I wasn't involved in that.

We would all dress up and look glamorous even though we were only in my house!

It seems funny looking back at it but ordering a take away in those days wasn't really an option. We all cooked and baked.

The sad thing is that most of those people are now dead.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224671090616?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338749367&toolid=20006&customid=GB11224671090616.146402343561~1871060449859-gCj0KCQjwuNemBhCBARIsADp74QQERNqDiCvBtQH1dUnEaO8Rn3kwOU9eEM5ufBh-Pth67aj6LSnGkCgaAsrsEALwwwcB

Lovely story 💗