What's the weirdest thing you've done that you look back and think 'WTF did I do that for?'

[BarbaraVineFan]

I'll start - when I was in my first long term relationship at the fairly advanced age of 24, my partner and I used to regularly cook our dinner, then take it up to bed on a tray and sit there watching TV eating our dinner like Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! No discernible reason, there was a perfectly good telly and sofa downstairs 😐 I have no idea why we did it! Anyone else got something similarly weird to share?

This has just made me laugh out loud. Thank you 😆

In my early 20s I would often (several weekends a month) leave my generally comfortable, warm house, spend my scarce funds on a train ticket from Manchester to Bradford, to then walk clean across the fucking city to a freezing cold, damp, uncomfortable house to see my then primary partner...

This would involve a walk through the red light district and some pretty unpleasant areas before and after that. The house was rented for him and a few others he worked with, to live in during the week by his employer, who clearly wasn't splashing out and they were buggered if they were going to...

NO heating, sitting on furniture that came out of a skip, house single glazed and draughty (But not enough to freshen it up from the damp, it smelt like a caravan)...

The sex was pretty good, but in hindsight, absolutely nowhere NEAR good enough for the effort it took to achieve it.

And he was on 40K a year, whereas I was on £45 a week. And he had to (generally, ish) come past manchester to get to his own home a couple of times a month anyway....

With the benefit of hindsight of course, the weekends i'd go there, were the weekends he wasn't coming home. The weekends he went home he'd be going out in his home town and enjoying his freedom to see whoever he wanted.

Just as I bought a young persons railcard (which had involved saving up...), the motherfucker moved down south to almost Bristol for another job, got himself a new primary partner and I was relegated to once in a blue moon when he'd be back up north at 'home'...

Ah, such a young fool was I.

All the other questionable and weird decisions I made in my twenties were sex related too, though unfortunately most involved significantly inferior sex.

🤣🤣🤣

Your intrusive thought won that day 😂

Gold

Mine is quite embarrassing and dangerous and I can't explain it.
Once when I was a staff nurse on nights I was helping a woman back into bed and her light wasn't working so for some weird reason I stuck my fingers where her bulb should be and gave myself a shock. She said what did you do that for? I said I don't know. For the rest of the night shift I got the other staff nurse to attend to here as she had absolutely no faith in me. I still can't explain why I did it. Sleep deprivation?

😂😂😂 genuinely just woke my 11 week old up because I laughed so hard at this!

I’d not long done a basic first aid course as a teen when my hamster keeled over. I did CPR on him for what seemed to go on forever 🤢 trying to blow air into his tiny toothy mouth 🤢 it didn’t work!

Primary partner? 🤔

😂😂😂 this is the one

Wasn't allowed to stay overnight at a party.
Snuck back out via the flat roof of the kitchen extension my bedroom window overlooked..... on my return I had to use the bin to climb on to get back up, which I didn't move, and left my shoes next too.... got caught! My punishment was dealing with my 1st hangover on a family day trip to butlins!!

Many many years ago I was asked around to this guys flat for coffee, we sort of knew each other and I was desperate to impress.
I'd read in cosmopolitan that men liked women who did quirky confident things and a suggestion was to take HIM flowers....
I went to a florist that morning and asked (this still makes me curl up) for a "man bouquet"
Paid £20 and she proceeded to make this monstrosity of twigs and thistles, basically imagine the opposite of a beautiful arrangement.
I awkwardly walked off with it to the dream man's place, knocked on the door and with great bravado announced "these are for you" like I ruled the world.
He took them off me so bemused, we had a nice afternoon, little kiss, I thought all was good until I bumped into his flatmate a few days later and apparently he was convinced that it was a voodoo spell, and I'd freaked him out with my grand gesture.
Never heard from him again, bloody cosmo.

@CringeyCrispys hahahha great!

When I was about 12 my friend and I went into the large post office in our nearest, very rural, town, which had a red phone box outside. We had a supply of coins and, armed with these, we went through the London phone directories (the paper ones!) phoning every single S Goddard in the London area, asking them if they were Adam Ant.

Unsurprisingly, none of them said yes 😆

What a great contribution to the thread- putting other peoples posts down and simultaneously adding nothing of any value!

@crimblecrumblescrimblescramble agree

LMAO 😂

This thread is just what we need to wake up to this morning!!

I've also pushed my thumb into a lamp socket; to check if it was working 🤨 Only there's no saving grace to my stupidity as I was 22 at the time.

Definite "well that was fucking stupid" moment.

😂😂😂

This has made me laugh so much! It’s exactly the sort of thing I have - and sometimes continue to do - as a middle aged professional woman who talks to people FOR A LIVING!! 😂😂😂

Early in my career I was at work with a group of other graduate trainees and one of them mentioned over lunch that she “likes horses”.

Instead of murmuring “oh how interesting” or something, I start sniggering and making “f’nar f’nar, you like horses eh? Horses? You like them, eh??”

Everyone (including the girl who has made the remark) just looked at me oddly and then everyone sort of turned away from me and continued to have a normal conversation.

I am cringing now 30 years later about what possessed me to turn a perfectly innocent remark into some kind of weird sexual innuendo. I clearly thought that I could ingratiate myself with the group with my witty banz.

I was like Alan Partridge on speed 😂

When we were about 15 doing the hiking part of the Duke of Edinburgh award, I thought it would be hilarious to put on a fake Scouse accent and pretend to a large group of ramblers that we were lost looking for a made up place which was on the edge of Liverpool. We were actually in the middle of Derbyshire and the ramblers we were talking to were so concerned about a group of teenagers who had managed to get so lost that they insisted on escorting us to the next village to get us some proper help. I was too scared to admit it was a joke so made a story up about my dad being somewhere nearby and we eventually convinced them to leave us alone. Never did that again!

As a teenager, I came home drunk and felt sick. I thought if I went to the bathroom to throw up my parents would find out how drunk I was, so I puked into the plastic waste paper basket in my bedroom. Now I had a bin full of sick and, again, I worried if I took it to the bathroom to dispose of it my parents would know something was up. So I tipped it out my bedroom window onto the garage roof. In the morning I noticed that the other contents of my waste paper basket - tissues and receipts and so on - were all stuck to the garage roof.

😂😂😂😂😂 I'm crying

@LaMaG You’ve inspired me!

When I was 5 and still an only child, I went on holiday abroad with mum and step dad.

I’d been pestering for days for them to buy me a little blow-up dinghy with a cartoon character on that I loved from the local shop. A few days into the holiday, they finally bought me that dingy and I got to take my new pride and joy down to the beach.

I was specifically told only to play in it on the sand (I’d filled it with water like a mini paddling pool) but when my parents were sunbathing on the beach and clearly not watching me, I decided that putting my new little boat through her paces in the sea was long overdue.

I took the dinghy down to the water, got in and used a toy spade as my paddle. I thought I was fine because there were plenty of people in the water and I could see some children playing quite far out in the sea next to a stretch of rocks… However, pretty soon I drifted out past those children, the tide taking me further and further. I realised that my parents and everyone else were tiny dots on the beach and I was very, very far out.

In my 5 year old mind, I was most terrified of drifting off to the dust and island I could see on the horizon and never seeing my family again. I stood up in my tiny dinghy and shouted as loud as my 5 year old lungs could but they were just too far away to hear me.

Thank god, my parents soon realised that I was not there (were the 90’s a more relaxed time?) and my step dad and another man also on his holidays swam the distance out to come and retrieve me and my little blow up dinghy and no harm was done.

This cautionary tale is why I will (hopefully) never underestimate the ability… Or stupidity of my two young sons.

When I worked in a local convenience shop the fast paced and repetitive nature of being on the tills would scramble my brain. Mixed up hellos/goodbyes/thankyous / would you like a receipt / would you like a bag.

Once shouted THANKS at a friend’s mum across the store instead of hello. Said HIYA! to someone instead of thanks when she gave me the cash to pay for her shopping.

I still cringe 15 years later.

You can still get it, they tend to sell it at Christmas via the milkman.