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Original poster

How to describe someone. Is there a term?

54 replies

okiedokie1 · 09/08/2023 17:27

Occasionally in life I come up alongside a type of character I struggle to be around. If I try to describe the reasons I don't like being around them to my dh it sounds so wishy washy as there is nothing that sounds dramatically difficult. I was wondering if there was a term that describes this type of character. Like CF or narcissist or toxic or clingy. I can't think of a describer that feels accurate.
Overly in your face
Not able to sense that you don't want to talk. Just keeps on invading space until I just want to tell her to back off.
Never stops talking
Asks too many questions
Discusses things they suffer with in minute detail and shows you ...rashes, boils, random yucky body things
When it's time for them to leave they don't go. They sort of cling on and just keep in finding things to talk about
Overly keen
Overly friendly
Overly everything
When I know they are going to be somewhere I desperately don't want to go.
If I had to sit next to them at a dinner o would have to feign illness and leave.
Gives me the ick

It's not just me who feels this way. I haven't actually spoken to anyone but I can see people backing away or finding excuses to not be around her

But she's not nasty. She tried to be nice. I don't know what it is. Please help me understand what is repelling me

OP posts:
TerfTalking · 10/08/2023 06:44

I worked with someone like this, and she was very abrupt and rude on top. The worst part was she would stand over you whilst you were having lunch and smack her lips. She had halitosis too.

We called her Beanz, because she literally told us about opening a tin one night. This type of person is forever known as a Beanz.

I periodically felt bad for her, but only, until the next time she talked down to me. she was simply awful to be around.

TheBrightestStarInTheSky · 10/08/2023 06:47

Overbearing?
Some people are ok in small doses otherwise they completely drain you.

nameitagain · 10/08/2023 08:14

jabberwokky · 10/08/2023 06:32

I actually want to know if there is a word for this sort of character. I haven't gossiped about them to anyone. I simply feel uncomfortable around them and so do others and I want a word to describe the character type. Not sure why you are so hostile.

@okiedokie1 Think about what you are saying. You want a word to describe a 'character type' - you want to put her in a box and give her a label. She's a human and she's complex, just like you. She's not a 'character type', she's a person.

There is a reason why she is the way she is, why she is annoying and overly intense and all the things you describe. It does sound like hard work and I sympathise, but giving her a label is not going to help you to empathise and understand her any better, is it? It's just going to reinforce your negative view of her.

The best way to get over negative feelings about people is to try and understand where they are coming from and why they are the way they are.

Yes I want to understand but I disagree with your labelling comments. By knowing for example someone is a narcissist, because they display the behaviours of a narcissist, one can read up and learn about narcissistic behaviours and how to navigate them. Same if someone has OCD or BPD. This also holds true for people who don't have diagnostic conditions. By knowing what to read up on, personality type, character behaviours etc, one can learn and better understand. Let's face it, this person isn't in my close circle. They are just someone I have to be around. I'm not going to spend an inordinate amount of time being with them to understand them. Isn't it enough that I want to learn quickly how best to manage myself around them? Better than just blanking them

jabberwokky · 10/08/2023 16:29

nameitagain · 10/08/2023 08:14

Yes I want to understand but I disagree with your labelling comments. By knowing for example someone is a narcissist, because they display the behaviours of a narcissist, one can read up and learn about narcissistic behaviours and how to navigate them. Same if someone has OCD or BPD. This also holds true for people who don't have diagnostic conditions. By knowing what to read up on, personality type, character behaviours etc, one can learn and better understand. Let's face it, this person isn't in my close circle. They are just someone I have to be around. I'm not going to spend an inordinate amount of time being with them to understand them. Isn't it enough that I want to learn quickly how best to manage myself around them? Better than just blanking them

Show quote history

If you want to know how to 'manage yourself' then really you need to reflect on what you are feeling and how you are responding when you are around her. Slapping a label on her will not help you to feel better about how she behaves.

Narcissistic personality disorder, OCD, borderline personality disorder - these are all mental health conditions/ diagnoses, not just descriptions of people's personalities.

No one here is going to be able to tell you whether she has a mental health condition, and even if we could 'armchair diagnose' her, she would still be a 3-D individual who is much more than any diagnosis.

The truth is, there is no simple answer to what you are asking.

Sometimes people rub us up the wrong way, and how we manage that is really more about us than it is about them.

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