Do you ever just want to run away?

[Weathergirl007]

I’m tired. Long shift at work with lots of dramas from 5am.

Family life not the best at the min.

Stroppy 14 year old DD who hates me.

DH who is good in so many ways but lacks affection. Gaslighting me over me being annoyed at me telling him he was rude during dinner tonight when I was discussing my day and they were all ignoring / looking bored / overtalking me. He flounced out the room. Said kids agree that it was my fault.

DS 10 lovely.

Work really stressful of late and no downtime.

I’m not sleeping due to anxiety / family not caring when I do try to sleep / DH very noisy snorer.

My in laws are away and thinking of staying at their house just to get my head straight / get a good nights sleep but it will upset the kids so I can’t really do that.

Just needed to let that out really! I really feel like running away and booking sick at work …. but I won’t because it’s not fair in the kids and I have deadlines to meet at work.

Think I just needed to get that out 🙈

I occasionally have times where I think my life’s a bit like a train that I wasn’t to get off but can’t.

I can also relate to really wanting to call in sick and have a duvet day whilst DC are in nursery.

No advice really just solidarity.

Is there any way of changing your job? Or your role? Have a serious conversation about how your feel with your DH?

Probably yes to both! Just easier short term to put the brave face on and carry on.

I just don’t feel I have the energy but I know that nothing will change if I don’t.

Thanks for the solidarity xx

Feel like running away…. Yes often! But I haven’t yet. My responsibilities to my family stop me. But I am so tempted so often. I know how you feel OP, sometimes I just want to scream, be listened to, even though I’ve nothing to say…… I guess it’s about feeling like you’re being taken for granted, like you’re just a piece of furniture that’s always there. I don’t know what the answer is. Watching with interest…..,

That’s exactly it! Just mum, wife, hard worker, wanting to please!

Ive packed a bag for tonight but I know I won’t do anything as I would never want to upset the kids. Not really sure why I packed it 🙈

Just to let you know, you’re not alone

The amount that is expected of us can be completely overwhelming

Knowing I’m not alone helps! Not great that others feel the same though obviously x

Oh god doesn’t everyone think this at times 🫣😆

I spend my evenings looking at houses and flats on rightmove mentally planning a solo move. And then I wake up and do it all over again. It’s a bit of escapism.

Being a responsible adult is really shit 🤣🤣

Yes most days. Just been looking at work away holidays - I know I can't run away whilst kids are here but I am seriously considering 2-3 away volunteering somewhere hot over winter.

Please take time for you. I spent years thinking I had to do it all, always be the adult ect ect. Then I realised I mattered too. Take the time you need. Spend the evening at in-laws. Have uninterrupted time to read a book, have a bath, watch a film.

Hey me too ✋️
Sorry you've had a tough day. Packing the bag means you know you can go. What's stopping you? Too much of a fallout?

It really is.

Often. My career is going really well, but family life is tough at the moment. I can't even blame everyone else because some of it is my fault!

Teens are very hard. Be kind to yourself.

Upsetting the kids is what’s stopping me. They have already witnessed a falling out which has given me massive mum guilt!

Thanks for replying ladies. It has honestly really helped! Didn’t feel like I could message friends without them being concerned so strangers on the internet are a good source of comfort. Thank you xx

Hugs. It does get better. I used to want to go and curl up in a very small space - inside a seashell in a cave by the sea was my dream - and never be found. But I realised I had lots of less destructive ways of carving out a little bit of time for myself that I should try first.

Oh a seashell inside a cave would be exactly what I need right now!

I find family life really hard tbh. Keeping everybody happy when they all have conflicting needs. Social media doesn't help. Everybody else appears to have a completely functional and happy family.

I am not sure how women are supposed to work ( I only work part time btw), look after DC, do the bulk of housework, keep some intimacy going, look after elderly parents, stay fit, see friends and fucking solve everyone else's problems all the time...

I went on another internet forum and fought with a racist bigot just to let off steam! i don't recommend it.:)

Yes. I fantasise about a parallel life where I live alone (apart from a dog, who's really well behaved) in a seaside cottage and run a beachside coffee hut with great views.

In this parallel universe I'm a couple of stone lighter, wear really cool edgy clothes without worrying what my family think and have no strings sex with a local hunky handyman, who does jobs on my house in exchange for a good meal.

Why would they be upset? At that age they're more than capable of understanding you're feeling 'under the weather' and just need a quiet nights sleep. Just let DH know it's happening, don't ask just tell, assuming it doesn't leave him stuck with drop off tomorrow.

Honestly your kids aren't babies, a house is available don't be a martyr!!

And look into ear plugs lol they saved my mariage to a snorer

Agreed! It would be nice for someone else to just do the thinking and decision making!

My family all have specific dietary needed due to autoimmune conditions / allergies so just meal planning and cooking tea every night is such a fucking chore!!

It sounds like you can't go away tonight on the back of an argument, can see how that would be upsetting and you would just experience guilt anyway. But it's all about how you frame it, walking off to in laws saying I can't cope absolutely would be upsetting for the kids, say I am going to have a bit of mum alone pamper time absolutely no reason why the kids should be upset.