Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What does your 11 yr old ds enjoy doing at home that doesn’t involve a screen?

93 replies

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 08/08/2023 10:24

We are struggling to find anything that interests ds to do at home that isn’t screen based - either gaming or watching tv.

He enjoys activities out of the house, tennis, bowling, cinema, park etc but at home nothing. He is also not particularly interested in seeing his friends out of school although will happily see my friends children.

He struggles with fine motor skills anyway but things like lego are no longer of interest to him. He does read and is an excellent reader but usually saves that for bedtime. He will play the odd board game (and win) and occasionally do some baking, but I’d also like him to have something that he does on his own!! I have tried directing him towards things like coding and stop motion but also not interested. He is not at all sporty except for racket games and we do tennis, table tennis, badminton and swimming. But like I say, we can’t be out all the time and I wish he could entertain himself at home without a screen!

He does have limits on gaming (max 3hrs a day weekends and holidays)

Is he unusual or is this common for his sort of age? He’s nearly 12 and about to go into yr7.

OP posts:
CobraChicken · 09/08/2023 08:53

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 09/08/2023 08:47

Yes he’s very good at chess and often beats me 😬 But as with pretty much everything else that’s not a screen he has to be ‘persuaded’ into playing.

It's 1am here right now, but in the morning I'll find out what online chess platform ds2 uses and report back 🙂

CobraChicken · 09/08/2023 09:20

But of course that then negates your "doesn't involve a screen" criteria...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

PhantomErik · 09/08/2023 09:34

My DS (just 11) loves lego & is really imaginative so is constantly creating new models usually hybrid dinosaurs, dragons or sea creatures. He uses lego the most but also uses craft wire & plasticine. He also draws his designs.

He spends a lot of time in the garden, likes to play imaginary games & is often marching around with a blanket wrapped round him like a cape!

Yesterday he washed all the ground floor windows for fun lol.

He does use screens as well, he likes playing minecraft & various lego games. He also likes watching YouTube, mostly drawing tutorials or stuff about dinosaurs including Jurassic Park stop motion etc. On tv he watches Steve Backshall or animal documentaries.

He's not sporty but has a lot of energy so needs to move. If he's been in his room drawing or building lego he'll often take himself outside for a while.

DS13 has taught himself to solve a rubix cube & is now learning yoyo tricks.

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 09/08/2023 15:07

Well, a miracle is currently taking place in this house - ds2 was playing with the gravitrax yesterday and left it out, and now ds1 has been happily playing with it for the last half an hour! He usually just ignores it!

OP posts:
ToThineOwnSelfBe · 09/08/2023 16:03

Hooray!!😊

GoatsareGOAT · 09/08/2023 16:08

Yay!
Gravitrax is marvellous stuff 😃

StillWantingADog · 09/08/2023 16:12

Mine is 10 but is only interested in gaming and you tube too
nit interested in any kind of sports whatsoever and won’t even go and see his pals because it’s apparently “better” to all play online rather than physically together

he will do a bit of reading and lego and piano practice but would happily game all day if I let him

he’s a good kid generally though and doing very well at school so at least for the hols when imm working (at home) I let it lie

PhantomErik · 09/08/2023 16:13

If he likes Gravitrax it might be worth looking at Boomtrix.

Dragonwindow · 09/08/2023 16:23

We play a lot of taco, cat, goat, cheese, pizza! (and sushi go, exploding kittens, throw throw burrito etc etc)

I think my 11yo is quite young for his age - he still plays a lot. He plays with his old marvel/dc/power rangers/jurassic world minifigures, making huge battle scenes, and he likes filming stop frame animations with them.

He makes comic books, and top trumps cards, and he's got into "proper drawing" recently with some nice quality sketch books and a fancy selection of pencils, and some "how to draw" books.

He likes reading, but also likes listening to audio books (we're in discussions about whether this counts as "screen time" 🤣🤣)

He still takes all the bloody cushions off the sofas and brings all the duvets downstairs and builds forts!

He'll spend a short amount of time kicking a football about, but it's not really his thing. Same for swing ball in the garden.

My younger boy has a cheap kids guitar, and he spends hours messing around on that in his bedroom.

But all of this takes some very determined ignoring of "I'm bored", and not leaping in too quick to entertain them! We go out most mornings, home for lunch, then I need a very big sit down and I expect them to occupy themselves until screens come out at 4pm.

Normalweirdo · 10/08/2023 12:39

I don't think it's that strange but I do remember feeling as you do when dd was that age. It sounds like he does have a lot of things that interest him outside of the house. Perhaps he just needs some down time when home. They are at an age where they are processing a lot of changes, social/physical. My dd had more down time at this age too and even though I knew she needed it it was difficult to let her be and not force an activity on her.

Tiredalwaystired · 10/08/2023 12:50

Invite friends round. They soon work out something to do.

PonkyPonky · 10/08/2023 13:15

This is about the age my DSS got into ‘helping’. He’s keen to cut grass, wash cars, help with DIY etc. He now cuts the neighbours garden for some cash. We are renovating so he gets involved as he wants to learn everything. He’s old enough to go out with his friends independently so goes swimming or just hangs out with them. Screen time has massively reduced since he became helpful

TinyTear · 10/08/2023 13:48

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 08/08/2023 10:59

It’s a tricky age I think isn’t it. Not old enough to go out and do the things they’d like by themselves but equally too old for most of the things that have entertained them before!

I compare it to children’s menus in restaurants - not enough food there but the adult portions are still too big!

My nearly y7 eats adult portions 😂😂

Anyway, how about Pokémon trading card game? Depending how old the young sibling is, mine plays with the y4 one...

Mine likes drawing manga - paper or online

ConsuelaHammock · 10/08/2023 13:52

Give him jobs to do around the house. Clean the windows, paint any fences , weeding , power washing. At 11 my son was out working on the farm and driving tractors. Today he’s cutting silage. He’s 14.

TinyTear · 10/08/2023 13:54

And btw @Tacocatgoatcheesepizza we absolutely LOVE your username, I mean game

Eggsandavocado · 10/08/2023 14:16

Breakoutbertha · 08/08/2023 11:51

How ever did kids survive before screens and gaming. Our kids of today have had their lives and minds ruined.

Ruined ? That’s a bit dramatic 🤣

Labbingtons · 10/08/2023 14:18

Thanks for the tip about Gravitrax- that looks great.

DS11 has dyspraxia and ADHD. He needs time by himself to refuel but gets irresistibly drawn to screens so we’ve had to work hard at this.

He paints and makes Warhammer with his dad but by himself spends hours organising and making games with his army. He also likes reading White Dwarf and the like.

He has a huge collection of precious things, like Dr Who models and again plays with them for hours and puts them him his shelves.

He listens to music on his Alexa. Still enjoys Kinetic sand, not so much Lego now, but has a few favourite sets.

He hangs out with the dogs and enjoys cooking with me.

It’s vaguely screen related, but he and a few friends love films. They love writing, planning and then filming their own shorts, complete with costumes, props and trips to various parts of the village for different scenes.

It isn’t easy, but the more screen he has, the more he wants and the worse his emotional well-being gets.

Tiredalwaystired · 10/08/2023 14:43

Breakoutbertha · 08/08/2023 11:51

How ever did kids survive before screens and gaming. Our kids of today have had their lives and minds ruined.

I’m fifty and my summer holidays had a not so healthy dose of Why Dont You, Huck Finn, Silas and The Flashing Blade.

If screens have ruined them, they’ve also ruined us.

thommoal · 10/08/2023 15:55

adding a controversial opinion, but it sounds like you have a really busy out of the house life and he’s getting lots of exposure to things, he may just be seeking out downtime at home and a screen is his form of that? If he’s not dysregulated and isn’t getting really emotional after screen time, and he’s still choosing to read when he wants to, maybe it’s ok because screen time can be a form of regulation for a lot of kids. There’s an instagrammer, thegamereducator, who has some really good tips on how to manage screen time and gaming. And also great advice on different types of games that you can introduce and encourage to widen his exposure to things like problem solving, story telling, STEM etc.

Outside of that, our now 13yo nephew got into audiobooks and they encouraged some more open play with puzzles and games as he was really focused on the stories and it extended his attention span on things like Lego sets. He also got really into cooking when an audio book was on: initially because it was a chore for him and then because he found it enjoyable! He loved the Stephen Fry Harry Potter audiobooks to start and then branched out into loads of things via the Yoto app.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 10/08/2023 16:14

My lad is the same.

He will make a card for a friend or family member.

He likes to play board games and cards and to meet friends at the field to kick ball.

Other than that he will usually be happy to help in the garden or baking if I say he needs to come off screens.

But he won't really sit and draw like his elder sister.

Doone21 · 10/08/2023 16:15

Give him some chores to do

sunshineandtea · 10/08/2023 16:41

My 9.5 yo (so a fair bit younger) likes to play out with neighbours kids.
kicking a football usually or just faffing about and chatting

Wenfy · 10/08/2023 16:43

Lego, art, reading, riding her bike, running, swimming, rock climbing, cooking (not baking)

Vinomummyinlockdown · 10/08/2023 16:54

I’m loving the children doing origami and jigsaw puzzles and chores!!!
my recently turned 12year old and ALL his mates Xbox and iPad game most of the time with a few movies thrown in. I wish they’d go to the park but most of them don’t. They all seem quite “young” at 12 … can’t take a bus, don’t walk anywhere, don’t ride bikes. My 13 year old daughter in comparison is out alllll day at the park and shops!
I do get some chores in from them, but mainly it’s kicking a ball around the garden and his football club - - - thank goodness for that at least.