Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Social services

88 replies

brokennana · 07/08/2023 19:39

Basically I'm a nana to a beautiful 11 week old
Her parents known to ss
Baby was 3 days old when an emergency court decided baby was to be taken into care.
It wasn't until 3 weeks later when her family received the ss reasons that the wtf moment happened
Baby was taken based on unfounded opinions of ss
Solicitors at the time said there was no reasons for child to be taken.
Back story history of recreational drug use but both parents clean since mum found out she was pregnant

2nd court date child was to stay in care. New sw. Parents ordered a drugs test (hair strand) and various other agencies to work with.
Tests done , worked with drug and alcohol agencies. Mum even did freedom project even no dv

3rd court case drugs test negative. Ss not having that - they admitted they didn't understand the results
Ss refused to do referrals
Left court with a good luck off the judges and we don't want to see you here again

4th court date after another negative drugs test postponed by ss as they hadn't got their paperwork in order.

5th court case ss threatened with a non compliance order. The judge said it's up to the courts to decide not the local authorities. Court said that ss were judgmental and had a closed mind. And this wasn't fair on the child or the parents.

6th court date in a couple of weeks in front of the same judges at court 3.

The parents have seen their child daily. Never missed a contact. Done everything ss asked and beyond.
Mum now has pnd , infections and is still healing from a crash delivery.
They have nothing but good reports from all agencies involved.
Clean from cocaine. No alcohol. They don't even smoke.

Everything ss say is in our opinion this , in our opinion that . But can't and never have backed anything up with fact. They have now started psychological warfare, now playing on mums pnd , she will be unable to properly parents etc

I don't know what I want from this post, just a rant. I've seen my grandchild 2 times since birth.
How can ss take a child based on opinion , be told by the courts to sort their house out, stall and stall again and keep getting away with it?
I know they have a job to do and there are children in danger.
Mum and dad just want their baby back and to love a normal happy life. It just feels never ending

OP posts:
ItsAllMoo · 07/08/2023 22:11

So basically
You have been lied to
The parents are actually shit!
You are bias....

You are not allowed to be the guardian because you have dogs?? Or because mainly of other "random" stuff. Hmmm.
What "random" stuff may that be exactly?!because if it was literally just because of dogs i would absolutely make sure they went to a safe loved environment so i could have my baby grandchild in my care!!!!

I call bullshit on all this.

Im sorry. But there are babies and kids neglected everywhere. And still have to live with their pathetic excuse of parents.

Theres a fucking valid reason this has happened!!

wake up. 🙄

shouldisay · 07/08/2023 22:22

I deal with children being removed from their parents. In Scotland, so a different system than in England where I am assuming the OP is from. The threshold for removal is high, enormously high. Serious concerns of neglect and non engagement from parents before an order is sought to remove the child. As far as I know, despite the differences between the two countries on how these cases are tackled, the threshold remains the same.

In the OPs defence, I have witnessed times where once the child has been removed, the level of scrutiny the parents are under is completely unnatural, being held to a standard much higher than parents who are not under the spotlight, and it can be difficult to get back to normal, however, children are not removed without very serious concerns.

ladyvivienne · 07/08/2023 23:33

As someone whose SIL had their child removed, I can honestly say a hell of a lot more will have gone on than you're letting on or know about. He wasn't immediately removed and for that I have been forever astounded knowing how fucking awful the situation actually was. They do not simply remove like that for no good reason.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 08/08/2023 02:04

I've posted before on a thread with very similar circumstances and I absolutely believe you that SS changed the goalposts
They " gaslight" and are happy to fabricate evidence where there isn't enough
I do know what I'm talking about
My case made the national press
I'm sorry you're in the midst of this

lurpakhater · 08/08/2023 09:05

I wish people wouldn't post things as fact when they don't know what they are talking about.

Yes drug and alcohol services WILL turn people away as unsuitable if they are abstinent. They are massively under resourced and don't have capacity to provide ongoing support to everyone who has ever had a drug or alcohol
Issue. They would probably recommend that they attend a voluntary AA/ NA meeting locally instead.

Polik · 08/08/2023 09:40

Ss want mum & dad to attend drug and alcohol therapy place
4 times referred by ss
4 times the agency sent ss emails with parents copied in saying that in the agencies opinion the parents didn't need support
Ss said this was the parents not complying

Its possible the drug and alcohol agency turned away the parents if they had no interest in stopping using. You've got to want to stop for support to work.

REBM · 08/08/2023 10:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 08/08/2023 10:36

lurpakhater · 08/08/2023 09:05

I wish people wouldn't post things as fact when they don't know what they are talking about.

Yes drug and alcohol services WILL turn people away as unsuitable if they are abstinent. They are massively under resourced and don't have capacity to provide ongoing support to everyone who has ever had a drug or alcohol
Issue. They would probably recommend that they attend a voluntary AA/ NA meeting locally instead.

Maybe the drug and alcohol team in your area, but not here.

And if they are abstinent, why would SS refer them?

lurpakhater · 08/08/2023 10:43

@ADHDDDDDDDBOOM that is exactly my point. Many posters are stating "that does not happen" My response is, yes it can and it does. People should not state what goes on in their own little world as fact.

Indeed if CS believe that parents are using but parents refute this, then they are indeed stuck between a rock and a hard place. As if drug services won't accept them they cannot meet CS requirements.

NeverAloneNeverAgain · 08/08/2023 10:51

lurpakhater · 08/08/2023 10:43

@ADHDDDDDDDBOOM that is exactly my point. Many posters are stating "that does not happen" My response is, yes it can and it does. People should not state what goes on in their own little world as fact.

Indeed if CS believe that parents are using but parents refute this, then they are indeed stuck between a rock and a hard place. As if drug services won't accept them they cannot meet CS requirements.

Very much this. SS can request or advise it be completed. It can be included in plans however that doesn't mean that they will be accepted. Our drug/alcohol services essentially have a triage appointment prior to offering any support. If you tell them you're abstinent or you only use occasionally (they rely on the individual being honest) you won't meet the criteria for support. There are other ways to access support however if SS are keen for this to be done. As a PP poster mentioned there's NA/AA however due to the nature of these groups they wouldn't provide evidence of anyone attending. I've known SMART recovery to provide evidence for people of their attendance so that maybe an option for the OPs family.

Rosepetal34 · 27/09/2023 18:13

Hi all,

the neighbour called the police when I had an argument with my partner, when the arrived the just took details and couldn’t understand why they had been called as they could see it was a bicker. The social services then called my partner the next day but said it was just a follow up call then nothing? I’m concerned as I’m a teacher. Do the contact schools and jobs ect as all she said on the phone was that it was a follow up call. Any ideas?

foolishone · 27/09/2023 19:18

Rosepetal34 · 27/09/2023 18:13

Hi all,

the neighbour called the police when I had an argument with my partner, when the arrived the just took details and couldn’t understand why they had been called as they could see it was a bicker. The social services then called my partner the next day but said it was just a follow up call then nothing? I’m concerned as I’m a teacher. Do the contact schools and jobs ect as all she said on the phone was that it was a follow up call. Any ideas?

You probably need to start your own thread to get advice. It's not very fair on the OP of this one to bump it. You'll also end up with loads of people answering the original post and not yours.

On your question, are you being totally honest with yourself and us about the argument. Unless your neighbour was being malicious, it's pretty unlikely they heard you and your partner bickering and decided to call the police. It must have been pretty loud.

Nickylovesherkids · 27/03/2024 19:06

Hi im so down missing my babby girl and ss have removed her and now there trying to go fo adoption im at court next week feel so lonely and really carnt stop worrying i may not see my baby girl again i need help they have treated me badly and dont no wat to do

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread