Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Social services

88 replies

brokennana · 07/08/2023 19:39

Basically I'm a nana to a beautiful 11 week old
Her parents known to ss
Baby was 3 days old when an emergency court decided baby was to be taken into care.
It wasn't until 3 weeks later when her family received the ss reasons that the wtf moment happened
Baby was taken based on unfounded opinions of ss
Solicitors at the time said there was no reasons for child to be taken.
Back story history of recreational drug use but both parents clean since mum found out she was pregnant

2nd court date child was to stay in care. New sw. Parents ordered a drugs test (hair strand) and various other agencies to work with.
Tests done , worked with drug and alcohol agencies. Mum even did freedom project even no dv

3rd court case drugs test negative. Ss not having that - they admitted they didn't understand the results
Ss refused to do referrals
Left court with a good luck off the judges and we don't want to see you here again

4th court date after another negative drugs test postponed by ss as they hadn't got their paperwork in order.

5th court case ss threatened with a non compliance order. The judge said it's up to the courts to decide not the local authorities. Court said that ss were judgmental and had a closed mind. And this wasn't fair on the child or the parents.

6th court date in a couple of weeks in front of the same judges at court 3.

The parents have seen their child daily. Never missed a contact. Done everything ss asked and beyond.
Mum now has pnd , infections and is still healing from a crash delivery.
They have nothing but good reports from all agencies involved.
Clean from cocaine. No alcohol. They don't even smoke.

Everything ss say is in our opinion this , in our opinion that . But can't and never have backed anything up with fact. They have now started psychological warfare, now playing on mums pnd , she will be unable to properly parents etc

I don't know what I want from this post, just a rant. I've seen my grandchild 2 times since birth.
How can ss take a child based on opinion , be told by the courts to sort their house out, stall and stall again and keep getting away with it?
I know they have a job to do and there are children in danger.
Mum and dad just want their baby back and to love a normal happy life. It just feels never ending

OP posts:
CatsSnore · 07/08/2023 20:02

There must be more to this sorry OP. Recreational drug use isn't even a reason to remove children (unless they're not safe and around the drug use).

Could you look into being a kinship carer whilst they get this sorted?

I think from your posts that there's probably a high risk of further DV (freedom programme recommendations don't materialise from thin air) drug use in pregnancy and further concerns.

Anothernamethesamegame · 07/08/2023 20:03

brokennana · 07/08/2023 19:54

Yes all off the paper work
Found many inconsistencies that solicitors have also highlighted

Show quote history

So what reason did the judge give for granting an order? Presumably the baby is under an intermin care order?

Has the baby managed to stay within the family?

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 07/08/2023 20:03

brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:00

There is a hell a lot more of this than I am willing to post on here.
I have been brief with the details which is obviously confusing
I have attended all network & core meetings

That's really obvious.

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 07/08/2023 20:04

It's interesting that the baby hasn't gone to you.

Original poster
brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:04

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 07/08/2023 19:58

Have you not been offered the chance to have the baby? I thought they kept them with family where possible?

They didn't like I have 2 dogs, and lots of other random reasons.

OP posts:
YoSof · 07/08/2023 20:06

OP, it’s clear there is a lot more to this and it’s fine if you want to be vague but at least be honest with yourself.

7 months of involvement and then removal at birth? Stop kidding yourself.

Original poster
brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:06

The dv was in a previous relationship not the on mum is in now

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 07/08/2023 20:07

Of course you wouldn’t post full details, no one would expect you to but in the absence of all the information no one here can really comment on whether the removal was justified. I’d focus on why the court had continued the placement order each time, it’s not unusual for Judges to go against social work recommendations if they think the order isn’t needed so I’d start there.

Anothernamethesamegame · 07/08/2023 20:07

brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:06

The dv was in a previous relationship not the on mum is in now

Was there a child in that relationship?

Zola1 · 07/08/2023 20:07

The person who said the Judge couldn't order reunification...course they could. At any hearing. And the guardian could also push for it. The fact those things aren't happening suggests there is far more to this.
If its all a big overreaction then the parents need better legal representation...and you should surely have appealed your viability within the time frame you were given?

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 07/08/2023 20:08

brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:06

The dv was in a previous relationship not the on mum is in now

They won't make her do a freedom programme if the relationship she is in now is a safe one.

OP you seriously have the blinkers on.

And for other outside agencies to be in the dark about the child being removed?

Presumably you mean midwives for example?
They would be very much in the loop.

ConnieTucker · 07/08/2023 20:08

What prompted ss involvement initially? How were they even contacted? Who by and what promoted it?

sa standards are so incredibly low, it doesnt seem at all likely the baby was removed for no reason. Ive watched two families with ss involvement closely, and know a lot of ss involvement with families through work. The standards they seem to expect are keep child alive.

Was she using whilst pregnant?

HelloGoodbye92 · 07/08/2023 20:09

As someone who works alongside SW- children aren’t removed for no reason. They also normally try to keep the baby with family. I think it sounds like the best interests of the baby are being prioritised by the court and SW.

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/08/2023 20:09

The last meeting before birth was for child to come home with ss supervision

So either something changed following that meeting or post birth or the judge didn’t agree that supervision would be sufficient to ensure safe care.

Original poster
brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:09

If I could post screen shots of various paperwork on here I would and it would back up my story.
I don't expect readers to believe a story from a stranger.
Even typing it up reads as make believe
I really wish it wasn't

Ss want mum & dad to attend drug and alcohol therapy place
4 times referred by ss
4 times the agency sent ss emails with parents copied in saying that in the agencies opinion the parents didn't need support
Ss said this was the parents not complying

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 07/08/2023 20:11

As much as you want to make the situation / explanation clearer, the muddier the waters becinr with each update.

There's definitely more at play here, SS don't take babies away all nimbly bimbly, based on guesswork and assumptions.

CandyflossKaren · 07/08/2023 20:11

And what do YOU want op?

Go you sincerely believe that having the baby back would work?

Noorandapples · 07/08/2023 20:12

To those posters saying children never get taken away without a reason, be glad you've never had to see that that's not true. I've worked in children's services before and come across the occasional spiteful social worker who will destroy a family based on nothing but "gut feeling" and it takes a hell of a lot of work from the family and other professionals to counter them. It unfortunately does happen.

wineschmine · 07/08/2023 20:12

Why didn't you get rid of the dogs and take the baby?

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 07/08/2023 20:12

brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:09

If I could post screen shots of various paperwork on here I would and it would back up my story.
I don't expect readers to believe a story from a stranger.
Even typing it up reads as make believe
I really wish it wasn't

Ss want mum & dad to attend drug and alcohol therapy place
4 times referred by ss
4 times the agency sent ss emails with parents copied in saying that in the agencies opinion the parents didn't need support
Ss said this was the parents not complying

They should have gone.

I would tick every box, do everything that was asked of me, and said "how high" when they said jump.

They should have insisted that they attend the drug and alcohol programme.

People deny taking drugs and alcohol all the time. The drug and alcohol team will be well used to that. They would not hear that and then say "oh, you're fine then! I will let SS know."

WhisperingHi · 07/08/2023 20:13

I don't know what you're looking for. If you want people to slate social services then you won't find that here. Do you think being a children's social worker is easy? Do you think they like placing innocent babies and children in care?

Either you're in denial, or you child is lying to you about what's been going on.

Their drug you had to have been pretty bad for them to have been found to be drug users. Loads of people take the odd recreational drug without having any service involvement.

Then you want us to believe that they've stopped all use since finding out they're expecting a baby? Addiction doesn't work like that. I guarantee you that at least one is still using and the other isn't willing to seperate to keep the baby safe.

The baby deserves a loving, safe and protective home. I hope they find it.

YoSof · 07/08/2023 20:14

Noorandapples · 07/08/2023 20:12

To those posters saying children never get taken away without a reason, be glad you've never had to see that that's not true. I've worked in children's services before and come across the occasional spiteful social worker who will destroy a family based on nothing but "gut feeling" and it takes a hell of a lot of work from the family and other professionals to counter them. It unfortunately does happen.

I’ve worked in the same field for many years and never seen what you have described.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 07/08/2023 20:15

OP just wanted to say I believe you.
Unlike others I know that not all SW depts are equal and one horrible manager on a power trip can devastate lives.

I have my own horror stories with SS from when I was growing up and a friend had her daughters removed on concerns of sexual abuse, no police action, just a mark on one girl that teachers picked up on and it became genital herpes (normal hepes virus on the genital area of a child, i get it). Mole hill became mountain. Now girls are grown up, living in Foster care for 10+ years and separated with mental health issues and friend life has done a complete 180 due to the trauma.
Now kids are adults, they have said separately and together that no one abused them. I believe them. Hasn't stopped their lives from being ruined in the meantime.

Original poster
brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:15

Right I will try and answer each question with as much info as I am willing to share

One of the parents is a care leaver
No child in previous relationship first time parents
Cocaine was recreational
The midwife was involved at all meetings , they are still in touch now.
The parent that was a care leaver actually contacted ss themselves for support and help as they knew they may need it
No neither parents used drugs whilst pregnant
The mum had weird periods so didn't find out she was pregnant until about 10 weeks

OP posts:
Original poster
brokennana · 07/08/2023 20:16

Noorandapples · 07/08/2023 20:12

To those posters saying children never get taken away without a reason, be glad you've never had to see that that's not true. I've worked in children's services before and come across the occasional spiteful social worker who will destroy a family based on nothing but "gut feeling" and it takes a hell of a lot of work from the family and other professionals to counter them. It unfortunately does happen.

Thank you

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread