Do you think dating as teen is important?

[nosmallfeet]

I started dating at 13 and had my first boyfriend at 14 my first serious long term boyfriend at 15 who I dated for almost 2 years then some other boyfriends and guys I was seeing informally.

I met my now husband at university when I was 18 and knew very quickly what an amazing catch he was due to my experience with guys and so knew we would stay together and we have. I used to feel like I wish I hadn't wasted my time with the other guys but really they all did serve to show me things I came to know I wouldn't want in a long term partner such as guys with controlling abusive behaviour, guys who were just unreliable and uncommitted, guys who felt they could do better or were paranoid that you would.

Sure I got hurt at times and had a bit of teen drama in my life but I was also young and it was easy to bounce back and at that age there are no shortage of interested guys as most people were not yet paired up.

Its true that I have never been single / not dating in my adult life but after I got together with my husband we still did long distance, and we both lived over seas separately for work and study so we have each lived alone and had our own lives prior to living together and marriage.

I knew other women who didn't date till university and a common pattern was to get serious with a guy stay with them for the whole of uni, move in after graduation. then over the next few years get fed up of them, feel like they were missing out or they got fed up with the boyfriend not proposing, still behaving like a student and they'd split up have some fun years but then struggle to actually find someone else to settle down or have kids with. Quite a few of them never did find a long term partner and aren't happy about that.

I don't know if this is true but I wonder if dating younger as a teen has a benefit of letting you get dating lots of guys out your system, trying out different relationships and people at that age finding what works, what you don't want and then being able to spot a good thing when you see it and holding on to it?

I think it's more important that you do what you are most interested in and passionate about at each stage of your life - that's the best way to ultimately end up with someone with genuinely shared interests and values. I could not have cared less about dating as a teenager.I just wanted to draw, play sports and hang out with my (girl) friends. I had a few casual relationships in uni and I met my now husband straight after uni and have been happily together for over a decade.

I think it is better to wait. 13 is very young, even when I was at school.it was rare for people to have boyfriends so young.

Being so bothered about relationships young means you miss out on a lot of other fun and development.

It's especially good for girls to be less bothered about pleasing a boyfriend and more bothered about pleasing themselves.

Wow my daughter is 13 and I would not want her to date at this age, she is far far too young. It makes me feel uncomfortable and more importantly, she is not ready. I think this is far too young to begin dating and I find your attitude a bit weird and strangely old fashioned you seem to think that a constant stream of boyfriends from the age of 13 is something to be shouted about as positive, modern and life affirming. It is actually a bit dull and reductive, but you do you girl.

I'd be concerned if I had a dd who didn't seem able to be happy single.

How do you even know who you are if you've never not been someone else's plus one?

But yes I think it’s a good idea to date different people before you marry.

But even that has its limits.

My husband and I had no intention of meeting "the one" on the second day of university. Very limited romantic history each, and we were ready to crack into the university shagging scene.

In fact, we got together as a one night stand. But we really, really liked each other. Very quickly loved each other. Sixteen years on, it's been a happy relationship, and we've grown with it.

There really aren't useful rules to do things the right way, only definitely bad things to do the wrong way.

I've been with dh since I was 17, 20 years now. I know who I am because we still both have lives apart from each other, separate interests, separate friends etc. Not everyone things of themselves of a +1 when they get into a relationship, that may be something really specific to you.