When did you start to notice traits of autism in your DD?

[thisisasurvivor]

Hello all

Asking this because I read recently that it is more noticeable around 5/6
Not sure how accurate that is

Just got me thinking
This weekend my DD was covering her ears every time we talked
She is 5
Never worried too much before

But

She is such a picky eater and struggles with others at school xxxxx

Hi OP. Does she struggle finding comfy shoes? Does she have a preference for certain clothes? Does she hate tucking in tops? How is she when you put socks on her?

My ASD kids, removed their socks multiple times before they were right. Buying shoes was a nightmare. They never had tops ticked in cos it felt horrible.

They behaved differently in crowds - hated going shopping for example.

My DD had to have something in each hand.

My DS insisted you looked at him when talking even if he didn't always look at you.

DS issues visible but unknown from being a baby! DDs was much later like 20yo.

Wow interesting !!

No other sensory issues

Just got me worried we had visitors for two weeks and she really struggled with them but one was very strict and told her off a lot 👎👎

I do wonder sometimes

Still unsure

The thing is, all autistic kids are different. What is an autistic trait for one child (eg issues with socks and shoes) might be completely different in another autistic child.

We are currently awaiting our son's assessment for autism. HV says she has no doubt he is neurodiverse. But if he IS autistic, it's definitely not immediately obvious to people. The hands over her ears thing does sound like a possible neurodiverse reaponse - or it could be refusal to listen, defiance, an ear infection etc. Has she only just started doing it this weekend?

I've suspected my eldest was autistic since he was a tiny baby, but it's become more obvious (to me) since he turned 4. Girls can be harder to spot. I strongly suspect I'm autistic too, now that I know much more about it, but nobody would have thought that when I was a child (or even now, apart from me!).

Surely socks fussiness and some general sensory issues are hugely common in childhood generally though.
I think it’s if the issues are causing a problem for your child

That's true

It's how they react though long term?

Just not sure and I'm starting to wonder

Also I think her meltdowns since she has been using her I pad each day have intensified
It's being hid this week

18m/2 she didn't speak at all though till she was 4 not a single word but she's more on the severe end

Ah I see !!!

Hope she is managing ok now with school etc?

She's home educated school couldn't meet needs unfortunately

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Do you have a family history or people in the family that are undiagnosed that show traits?

My DD was quirky but I put that down to being a bright only child. However there is a family history so I noted down my concerns and wrote them on paper I kept with her red book. I also started saving as I knew it took years for a diagnosis. She coped mostly fine during Primary but it all went wrong on the move to Secondary which is really common.

When you go for a diagnosis you have to do a developmental history right back to the pregnancy. Little things I hadn't picked up on turned out to be significant, DD never freestyle played with any role play toys, she would either join in a game I had started or would perfectly recreate books and shows with her toys. She is the same now is very talented skills wise for creative things but can't think up her own ideas using her imagination.

Behaviour wise she only ever had tantrums at what I can pinpoint now as points of transition, when I say she was/is perfectly behaved I mean it, if there is a rule she will not break it. She masks at school and tries to be normal and keep a brave face on. She does not meltdown, she internalise things and shuts down, as a small child this meant she bit herself, now it's developed into panic attacks and tics along with situational mutism.

She is very noise sensitive and this has gotten worse with age, her disliking hand driers was fairly normal for a 5 year old, the fact she thinks they are the "spawn of the devil" in her teens is not normal.

Academically she is extremely gifted and it's likely her academic skills hid her struggles throughout school. The school environment is a huge challenge for her though, its noisy, crowded, children don't behave the way they are supposed to.

However, life with DDs 'low needs' autism is more than manageable with adjustments, noise cancelling headphones are a life saver as she needs lots of downtime and they instant remove the audio overload, we go on trips but she is involved in the planning and we factor in travel days where that is all we do and try and keep activities to just two of morning, afternoon and evening so factor in rest time. If she's having a tricky week ie off time table at school or the first few days of the school holidays I know not to plan anything unusual and to her her favourite foods ready.

What I always recommend on these threads is,

1. make a note of any differences - they may be ASD or they may just be a phase she doesn't need an assessment until the signs start negatively impacting her life.
2. start saving so if she starts struggling you can bypass the NHS 4 year wait and go private you'll need approx £2.5k
3. enjoy your child for who they are regardless, parent the child you have not the one you expected.

That’s a great post @Singleandproud

@Singleandproud so so helpful

Lots to consider here

Transitions are fine

Very good imagination

Trauma as a baby when her estranged father tried to kill is both and we were homeless then moved country

That could he at play here !!!!

Thanks for all that info

Ahhh I wish there was an edit button, I don't mean she masks to 'try and be normal', she is normal, she masks to fit in with her peers. She learnt that it was a good idea to do this after her year 4 teacher asked if anyone knew anything about Shakespeare and she launched into his life story and talked about his plays and how she liked Hamlet as it was like the Lion King... And then got teased/ low level bullied for it for ages.

Honestly it doesn’t really matter. A diagnosis (which despite what I see on lots of threads won’t be made until at least 6/7 - before that it will be developmental delay). Your child will need what they need and have to live in the same world we do. If she’s having trouble that will be identified with an EHCP, no diagnosis needed. If she doesn’t need help, great, continue as normal. Every child is different and help can be given at every stage without a diagnosis.

Wow!!!!!

And yes I totally get what you mean

And thanks again xxxxxxx

@thisisasurvivor severe trauma can rewire the brain and camouflage as ASD signs, they can be very similar and are difficult to untangle.

100 per cent xxxxx

I am going to try a play therapist

DD is 2 and was showing signs from 15/16 months old.

She’s currently non verbal. Walked on her tip toes constantly, would line things up over and over again. She has a VERY rigid routine. If you change one thing in her routine, she’d have a complete breakdown and be really upset. Has a lot of social difficulties and there’s loads of other things too.

She’s already had an assessment and is waiting to be diagnosed. She does three half days at nursery a week which she now really enjoys. It’s still a struggle for her some days but she’s getting there.

I started looking into Autism when she wasn’t doing things like waving, speaking, pointing etc as they were all developmental signs. As she’s gotten older it’s just gotten clearer really!

@iminvestednow makes a very good point, all support in schools should be needs based and not diagnosis based.
I had things put in place for DD whilst we were waiting for her assessment without any fuss, the diagnosis gave me a bit more clout to request some other things she needs and it probably helped a lot that I had worked in a neighbouring school so I knew exactly what was reasonable to ask for and what was likely to be put in place which is probably difficult to know if you don't work in a school environment.

A diagnosis doesn't give you a magic wand to make life easier, it provides a label for a collection of behaviours your child struggles with and a few suggestions of what might be useful to your child in navigating the world. You can try and use some ASD friendly parenting techniques as quite frankly I think they help all children ie factoring in down time, giving very clear instructions etc.

Brilliant post.

We are at the £2.5k stage for dc being assessed after leaving high school. So many 'quirks' or habits that all really add up.

When advising the SENCO that the consultation was coming though for their input and giving authority we were told by the SENCO how they could put forward a strong case, mental health is common autism sign in girls, many other traits they reeled off about dc and then added it was a testament to dc they had waded through high school and GSCSEs...my (silenced!) reply was "No, its testament from how confidently and strongly you've spoken about dc how shut your SENCO provision is...why are you reeling all this off and yet never ever existed any concerns with us?"

It's s nightmare for many reasons.

@LadyHag I know my DD would never have been picked up through the school, or even hit the bar for referral by the GP as her ASD is only an issue for her ie she doesn't have challenging behaviours. It's really only my own professional experience and the fact I had students very similar to her start at my school with diagnosis that really spurred me on as she shared so many traits and it was before the panic attacks and tics started, I had only really worked with the more stereotypical 'boy' autism before that was obvious a mile a way.

It's quite interesting that since being diagnosed her school have picked up on her subtle signs, the fact that she looks between the eyes, or her hands are always tapping her thigh under the table etc or she always knows the answer when writing but if you put her on the spot she can't answer.

I think it can vary so much and since things are only obvious on hindsight. DS hit all his milestones - all be it every single one was at the later end of normal - could talk, point etc. Yet pretty much from birth he hated being bathed or undressed, I'd always planned to do baby massage but it just made him scream (and he was generally a quiet baby).

It's just been suggested that I might want to self refer for assessment because I see so much of myself in DS - he just turns it all up to 11, while maybe I'm on an 8...

what would you like to change in the treatment of ‘low level autism’? I have a severe one (non functioning in society 24hr care) and one who I think is probably on the spectrum somewhere. My job is to teach her coping mechanisms and ways to deal with the unexpected. She is going to live a full happy life, if I give her the tools to survive. This is not always to placate their needs. When I see compulsive behaviour, it is my job to change things and then manage the fall out so if it happens in the future she has a reference for how to deal with it!