Holiday hell

[Sunflowers223]

Just need a handhold really I suppose. I dont know who to talk to, I cant think of anyone I can talk to. I'm on holiday (self catered caravan) with my mum, we are sharing one caravan and then my sister, brother in law and 3 kids are sharing another caravan. My mum and sister have a very tumultuous relationship which has got a lot worse in the last year or so. They have had a MASSIVE argument today and now are not speaking at all. Sister saying to me our mother is a psycho etc, my mum is sobbing hysterically in her bedroom saying my sister is abusive. I'm literally just in the middle not knowing what to do.

I would leave them all to it and take yourself off out for a walk/drive and get some fresh air.

Personally I'd go home

As per comments above - go for a walk - clear your head, then go home. Leave them to it. Enjoy the peace and quiet at home. Oh, turn your phone off.

Is one of them clearly right or is it totally even?

Suggest they call it a day and go home. Then you stay on and have a peaceful holiday without them!

I've gone out for a walk now because my mum just sobbing for hours is taking me right back to my childhood. She's saying she's going to go home tomorrow. Think this holiday is over.

So is she right or is your sister? If this is your mums doing and she is indeed acting like a psycho then you stay on and try and relax alone in your caravan

I really don't know because I wasn't present for the argument. They've both explained it to me and I still don't really understand what's happened.

What's a waste of time and money. Can they not just stay seperate for the duration??

Complete waste. No because my mum will miss her Grankids, she's meant to be on a holiday with her kids and grandkids.

I just feel so sad. Just been on a walk and all families are enjoying their time away in their caravans. Wished I could join a different family.

Personally i would leave - it is unfair to be placed in the horrible situation
A simple "i am heading home, i love you both bit this isnt for me" text .
No drama , keep your boundaries

Can you let them all go home and you stay on and enjoy a few days of peace for the rest of your holiday? Is that possible?

Yeah I'd go home OP. I wouldn't be staying in that environment.

Was your mum dramatic and emotional in your childhood and you had to pacify her a lot?
I'm erring on your sisters side.

I don't think my sister and her family will be going home. I think my mum will go home and then I'll be left with the decision whether to let her leave on her own or to go home too. We live hours away from each other so we won't be together if me and my mum both go home.

I think someone needs to speak to your sister and mum and tell them how badly they're effecting the kids.
It's possible to hold everything in until home time for the sake of the children surely??

I'd go home. Tell them you love them both but can't be stuck in the middle taking the brunt of the emotion and rage from both sides. Never holiday with them together again.

I couldn’t be doing all this drama, totally unfair on you OP. I hope you are ok, very upsetting when you should be able too relax on holiday.

"I've gone out for a walk now because my mum just sobbing for hours is taking me right back to my childhood. "
That's a very telling comment. Your childhood involved your mother sobbing for hours frequently, did it?

"My mum and sister have a very tumultuous relationship which has got a lot worse in the last year or so."
Her childhood also involved your mother sobbing for hours, presumably. The difference between your sister and yourself seems to be how you react to your mother. You sound vary passive, in contrast to your sister's more active response. Why do you think that is? Is this how you learned to cope with your mother's sobbing?

"I really don't know because I wasn't present for the argument. They've both explained it to me and I still don't really understand what's happened."
They're your mother and your sister. You know them both well. What's your gut feeling about what happened?

I just feel so sad. Just been on a walk and all families are enjoying their time away in their caravans. Wished I could join a different family.

Thats so miserable for you.
Being Stuck in the middle.

Could you stay on and enjoy the place you are in? Maybe going on trips just yourself and your mum whilst both sides cool down?
Could you, or would you want to? go home with your Mum and spend a few days together there?

But you say she spent your childhood sobbing. Do you need to get away from all of them for some peace of mind?
Its "tumultuous and has been getting worse"
Are you usually the peacemaker?
If so, there's probably not much you can do but be a sponge to soak up their anger.

Is that a role? I've been there and it is a thankless task.

It may seem harsh, but I think in this situation you should really think about what YOU would rather do - all other things being equal - because it really is true that you can't please everyone in this situation so you may as well please yourself. If they are the type to take offense regularly, then they will enjoy taking offense anyway. So once you have made your decision. Put your foot down calmly and politely and act on it.

I'd also add being in a family war zone, you need to start putting yourself first and foremost and making firm plans for how you spend your time somewhere away from that, because spending it like this isn't going to do you any good at all.
You don't have to be on holiday with people to spend quality time with them. You could in future, organise your own holidays doing some kind of activity or with friends, and visit your mum and or sister separately for a short period of time, for example ( and I would plan activites for this time on the grounds that keeping them busy might distract them from their arguments. )

If you do go home, could you find some nice outings, or treats to do in your own hometown or day trips so that your time off isn't a total loss?
Lots of decisions to make. But remember just because they are tumultuous doesn't mean you have to keep putting up with it. Best of luck

I'd leave them to it, they're both adults.
I certainly would not go home & lose my holiday.

Let your mum go home, you stay and try to enjoy yourself.

I find it hard to believe that you don’t even have an inkling of what’s gone on here? If they’ve both explained it to you why don’t you understand it? You must have SOME feeling on it? What was the argument about? who started it? Who do you think is right? Those would all factor in my decision on what to do now if I was you.

Id be inclined to tell your mum that you and her will do your own thing tonight and let your sister and family so their own thing till at least tomorrow and see where you go from there.

it takes two people to have an argument and it’s not your fault nor can you control it, if your mum is sticking to her guns and wants to go home then let her. She should be considerate of the fact that you’re there too.

Thank you everyone for your replies. Been an awful day.