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What’s the deal with whole families going shopping together?

259 replies

Enfys1982 · 05/08/2023 17:12

Is it just me who find this really odd and slightly codependent? My mum hated us coming shopping with her as I think she partly enjoyed the peace quiet and we’d get under her feet. As would my Dad! Even now she won’t take him shopping with her. Yesterday in Sainsburys I was struck by how many families there were doing their shopping together. Both parents and kids. I saw one family with a mum dad and three kids plus a baby in a buggy, and another with parents kids and even grandparents. A few weeks ago I was in Primark and there was a family of four shopping together, mum wanted to buy something and instead of the dad and kids waiting they all went through the tills together. I mean surely they didn’t all need to do that?

Is this a new thing?

OP posts:
FoxBaseBeta · 05/08/2023 18:33

This comes up all the time! How do you know families are routinely shopping together, or are you seeing the same families?
You might occasionally find the 4 of us in the supermarket together if we stop off after a day out etc, or it might just be one of us nipping in and everyone else waits in the car 🤷 I would imagine it's the same for many families.

As a kid the 4 of us used to go to Asda every Friday night, I used to think it was really exciting especially when my brother and I would sometimes get to pick a new 7" from the music counter 😁

ZickZack · 05/08/2023 18:35

AllPlayedOut · 05/08/2023 17:16

I find it odd that people give a shit so long as everyone is behaving and being considerate to other shoppers and staff.

This.

I can't say I've ever gone shopping and paid attention to other people, whether alone or in families shopping 😅

Op would hate me. I was at the shops this morning with DM, DH, ds1 and ds2 😆 we had all come from breakfast together for my uncle (we're staying with my mum right now so same car) and swung by Tesco on the way home. Everyone just nipped in to grab their own stuff.

AgathaSpencerGregson · 05/08/2023 18:36

FoxBaseBeta · 05/08/2023 18:33

This comes up all the time! How do you know families are routinely shopping together, or are you seeing the same families?
You might occasionally find the 4 of us in the supermarket together if we stop off after a day out etc, or it might just be one of us nipping in and everyone else waits in the car 🤷 I would imagine it's the same for many families.

As a kid the 4 of us used to go to Asda every Friday night, I used to think it was really exciting especially when my brother and I would sometimes get to pick a new 7" from the music counter 😁

This reminds me of when the first big sainbos opened near us and I used to beg, absolutely beg my mother with lots of tears and snotting to be taken and how enraged I was when I found out she’d already been on the way home from work.

Interested in this thread?

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ThelmaBorden · 05/08/2023 18:39

bettymoo212 · 05/08/2023 17:18

Eh?

I remember in my late teens, when I first became aware of this, so would be late sixties, so by 2000 I stopped noticing, the phenomenon of the Saturday afternoon shoppers, this would be in M&S, C&A, clothes shops
anyway, I would think of these couples as being older, the woman hesitatingly plucks at an Item of clothing, asks the husband, who looks as though he couldn’t care less, ‘do you like this?’ husband responds with irritation, ‘if you like it, get it !’ wife continues to look unsure.

Husband pays. Husband has cheque book, cash, wife has residue of her meagre Housekeeping in her foldover purse, not enough even for a running away fund.

This is not a new thing.

I experienced something similar in M&S food Ilkley two years ago, an older couple, late 70’s perhaps, well dressed. Wife at check out been handed a bankcard, by bored husband waiting presumably in HIS car, wife opens complicated purse, takes out a grubby fold of paper with her pin number, proceeds to type in number, which is incorrect, asked to do it again, same result, wife panics is in a flap, holding everyone up, husband appears, wlks unbidden to the pin machine, types in number.
Wife says, how come it works for you and not me ?
Well love everyone else in this queue could work it out why can’t you?

The young wife with pushchair, baby, children, also dependent upon the male
approval, the right of veto which she accepts.
This is not a new thing, economic reliance, as in the one who holds the purse strings holds the power

Those of you exclaiming have hopefully never experienced this life limitation and been oblivious to others who have/are.

daffodilandtulip · 05/08/2023 18:40

I've noticed a massive increase. Really annoys me. Fills the aisles unnecessarily and I don't want to hear you arguing about whether you should buy crumpets or Weetabix ffs.

Spotnessmonster · 05/08/2023 18:40

I do the big shop in the week but if we need a top up on a Saturday or a chicken on a Sunday we sometimes go as a 5... Either on the way back from somewhere or to be honest even if it's a specific trip it makes a nice change to be driven. Hadn't really put much thought into it tbh, the kids are no bother to anyone and it's a non event really.

EbiRaisukaree · 05/08/2023 18:41

Pumpkindoodles · 05/08/2023 17:28

I like my family? Sometimes shopping is more enjoyable with them there. Sorry that isn’t the case for you?

This was us when I was a kid. Dad worked long hours and we would all spend as much time together as possible. We would go to the supermarket together and all decide what we’d like to eat, we children would go and find things, learn about cooking, how long fresh things would last, budgeting, how to pay with cash or a cheque (I am in my 50s). Children are part of society and can only learn how to behave appropriately if given the chance, and good examples to follow. As a result of my parents’ involving us in all aspects of family life we turned into fully competent young adults capable of doing our own shopping, cooking and budgeting from an early age. Never exposing children to those experiences but expecting them to know how to do things and how to behave us just mad.

And we still all like to spend time together now.

BocolateChiscuits · 05/08/2023 18:46

Mumsnet bizarre moral codes:

  • never have a loo brush
  • always have your child on your lap on a bus
  • never, ever be even slightly peeved that someone without a child is using the parent & child parking spaces
  • always walk in single file on the left-hand side of a path
  • when cycling on shared pathways ring your bell to warn pedestrians you're there, but also don't ring your bell and make pedestrians feel like they need to move for you, that's entitled

and now, I can add:

  • don't go to the supermarket with your family, only go alone

🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Myn · 05/08/2023 18:50

My daughter likes a people watch and some time with her mum and dad, I like spending time with my husband and he likes his time with us unfortunately I have to shop sometimes. Sorry about that?

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 18:50

Wow I thought I was a grumpy misanthrope but I have never been irritated by this.

My supermarket (a big sainsburys) has really wide aisles so it's never a problem.

IWillWatchTheDogs · 05/08/2023 18:50

Op it's not odd at all!

We sometimes do it. My dc like to come to the supermarket and I don't mind taking them.

Sux2buthen · 05/08/2023 18:53

Because they want to.

Mystery solved

GreenWheat · 05/08/2023 18:53

People shop differently, get over it. Families shop together because they want to. Their money is just as good as yours so funnily enough, supermarkets don't ban them because some other customers want to rush through huffing and puffing at anyone who may momentarily hinder their efficient trolley dash.

AgathaSpencerGregson · 05/08/2023 18:54

BocolateChiscuits · 05/08/2023 18:46

Mumsnet bizarre moral codes:

  • never have a loo brush
  • always have your child on your lap on a bus
  • never, ever be even slightly peeved that someone without a child is using the parent & child parking spaces
  • always walk in single file on the left-hand side of a path
  • when cycling on shared pathways ring your bell to warn pedestrians you're there, but also don't ring your bell and make pedestrians feel like they need to move for you, that's entitled

and now, I can add:

  • don't go to the supermarket with your family, only go alone

🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

It is, as so often with MN, a status play. “I’m far too busy to manage more than a frantic last minute dash into Waitrose and my family all have far better things to do.” Well whoopie shit for you.

ArcticSkewer · 05/08/2023 18:58

It's not a new thing.

Some people's lives are just not very interesting and this is a cheap way for them to have a "day out".

Particularly now you can just shop online, these are the people who class it as a family activity.

MagicClawHasNoChildren · 05/08/2023 18:58

itsmyp4rty · 05/08/2023 17:19

Only my OH drives and I like to pick my food and make decisions of what we buy so we both go, then we had to take dc with us until they were old enough to stay home alone.

Same. Not for lack of trying on my part - I've had probably 100s of hours of lessons at this point and yet I remain dreadful.

Little DC is in the trolley seat. Big DC gets her own trolley (because we shop at Lidl). We try not to impede anyone. It works for us 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bonfire23 · 05/08/2023 18:59

I shop with my dad sometimes. He likes to pay for my food shop every so often, I pick what I want, then we have a coffee after

AutumnLeaves5 · 05/08/2023 19:02

This is why I do my shopping on a weekday evening! When it’s a family outing there’s just too many people getting in the way or stood in front of the yoghurts having a 5 minute debate about what flavour to get.

I want to be in and out as quick as possible.

Tiredalwaystired · 05/08/2023 19:02

mathanxiety · 05/08/2023 17:17

This is not a new thing.

When I see it I always wonder if the woman is suffering financial abuse.

That’s really your first thought?

Not that they might be doing their shopping on the way back from somewhere else / using it as a cheap “activity” to do together / picking out the food for a family party or BBQ?

Actually the fact that you are forming a judgement of any kind about people’s shopping habits is pretty weird.

AgathaSpencerGregson · 05/08/2023 19:04

ArcticSkewer · 05/08/2023 18:58

It's not a new thing.

Some people's lives are just not very interesting and this is a cheap way for them to have a "day out".

Particularly now you can just shop online, these are the people who class it as a family activity.

And right on cue …

GigiAnnna · 05/08/2023 19:05

Haven't got a car, so need both of us to carry it back. We shop in Aldi and Lidl mainly and you can't shop online.

liondreams · 05/08/2023 19:06

as a single parent, I rarely have a choice about it (and find it so stressful with DS in tow that would honestly rather not do it with him!). Agree with someone said that it's an activity if you're short on cash. I realise this sounds weird but when your kids are young and you want to get out of the house to change up the scenario a bit, the supermarket is somewhere to go. But yes full families going together, really weird and annoying!

ScullysMate · 05/08/2023 19:08

We all went as kids as we didn’t have a car. We all helped carry a weeks shopping home while my mum put what she could in a pull along shopping trolley.

Chickenpie35 · 05/08/2023 19:08

Ffs 🤣🤦‍♀️

Diddykong · 05/08/2023 19:11

We do most of our shopping online but frequently need to do a top up on the way back from somewhere so we all go in. I tend to bark orders at DH and one child to go off and find half the items while I go with the other child and find the remaining. Or if it's been a particularly bad day we will put both DC in the trolly to trap them in one place and rush round as quickly as possible.