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What’s the deal with whole families going shopping together?

259 replies

Enfys1982 · 05/08/2023 17:12

Is it just me who find this really odd and slightly codependent? My mum hated us coming shopping with her as I think she partly enjoyed the peace quiet and we’d get under her feet. As would my Dad! Even now she won’t take him shopping with her. Yesterday in Sainsburys I was struck by how many families there were doing their shopping together. Both parents and kids. I saw one family with a mum dad and three kids plus a baby in a buggy, and another with parents kids and even grandparents. A few weeks ago I was in Primark and there was a family of four shopping together, mum wanted to buy something and instead of the dad and kids waiting they all went through the tills together. I mean surely they didn’t all need to do that?

Is this a new thing?

OP posts:
AlmostTotallyFake · 07/08/2023 06:32

We did it as a family when the kids where little. My husband doesn't drive so I had to go regardless and if he wanted to look for something in particular this was the best way.
Also the supermarket had a cafe that the kids liked to get lunch in (extensive kids menu and set up for families, almost as if lots of families shop together 🤷‍♀️)
The kids enjoyed it because they got to pick a little toy or a book when we had finished!
The other big reason for me was that we both worked full time, we hardly saw each other in the evenings and if we had gone shopping separately it would have been a weekend morning/afternoon that I wouldn't see the kids. So to be honest I didn't care if my way of doing it bothered other shoppers, I was clawing back as much time as I could with my family.

mathanxiety · 07/08/2023 06:35

Enfys1982 · 05/08/2023 17:21

@mathanxiety possibly. I hadn’t really considered that. A few times I’ve bumped into a work colleague on a family jolly with her husband and kids in Tesco but in her case I suspect it’s because her husband is inept and can’t cope with the kids on his own so they all go together.

Yes, that too.
Or he simply won't take care of the kids and she'll come home to a bear pit.

I always wonder about the husband in a case of family shopping, particularly if he is just trailing after the wife and doesn't seem to be actively shopping, and there are a good few children in tow too.

If he ends up peeling banknotes from a billfold at the checkout I would be very concerned for the wife.

BarbaraofSeville · 07/08/2023 06:40

I always wonder about the husband in a case of family shopping, particularly if he is just trailing after the wife and doesn't seem to be actively shopping

Yes, this is it. All those saying 'they're having a nice day out together' they're really not. The men look miserable, or they're glued to their phones. This is not people spending quality time together, that's what I'm complaining about.

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mathanxiety · 07/08/2023 06:47

ThelmaBorden · 05/08/2023 18:39

I remember in my late teens, when I first became aware of this, so would be late sixties, so by 2000 I stopped noticing, the phenomenon of the Saturday afternoon shoppers, this would be in M&S, C&A, clothes shops
anyway, I would think of these couples as being older, the woman hesitatingly plucks at an Item of clothing, asks the husband, who looks as though he couldn’t care less, ‘do you like this?’ husband responds with irritation, ‘if you like it, get it !’ wife continues to look unsure.

Husband pays. Husband has cheque book, cash, wife has residue of her meagre Housekeeping in her foldover purse, not enough even for a running away fund.

This is not a new thing.

I experienced something similar in M&S food Ilkley two years ago, an older couple, late 70’s perhaps, well dressed. Wife at check out been handed a bankcard, by bored husband waiting presumably in HIS car, wife opens complicated purse, takes out a grubby fold of paper with her pin number, proceeds to type in number, which is incorrect, asked to do it again, same result, wife panics is in a flap, holding everyone up, husband appears, wlks unbidden to the pin machine, types in number.
Wife says, how come it works for you and not me ?
Well love everyone else in this queue could work it out why can’t you?

The young wife with pushchair, baby, children, also dependent upon the male
approval, the right of veto which she accepts.
This is not a new thing, economic reliance, as in the one who holds the purse strings holds the power

Those of you exclaiming have hopefully never experienced this life limitation and been oblivious to others who have/are.

YYY. This is exactly what I am talking about on this thread.

I think there are many women here who take financial independence or equality in a relationship for granted and can't conceive of an existence completely dominated by a man. I hope your lives continue to be free and happy.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 07/08/2023 06:47

Growuppeople · 07/08/2023 01:15

God I feel sorry For some of these kids 😅 let them be kids fgs they will cook everyday when they older, it’s so booooring! Just trying to make yourselfs feel better for having nothing to do 🤣. I’ve been at work all week I’d rather spend 2 hours with my kids not bloody shopping. can u imagine “get ready kids we all going shopping and then you can help cook dinner” just depressing

Do you really take two hours to do your shopping? Do you live very remotely? My closest supermarket is a five-minute drive and we are usually in and out in half an hour. We often all go as we like to pick out what we fancy eating, and what treats we want, I actually enjoy it! We all enjoy cooking though, so don't find it depressing at all!

Tiredalwaystired · 07/08/2023 08:08

Growuppeople · 07/08/2023 01:15

God I feel sorry For some of these kids 😅 let them be kids fgs they will cook everyday when they older, it’s so booooring! Just trying to make yourselfs feel better for having nothing to do 🤣. I’ve been at work all week I’d rather spend 2 hours with my kids not bloody shopping. can u imagine “get ready kids we all going shopping and then you can help cook dinner” just depressing

How are you expecting them to be able to cook everyday (as opposed to warming food up) when they are older if you don’t teach them as kids?

Cooking has always been a favourite pastime of my kids. They’ve loved to bake since small.

Youngest made us all a curry for tea last night. I think you’re short changing yourself too if you don’t teach them to cook - it means you get a night off once in a while!

WeWereInParis · 07/08/2023 08:10

let them be kids fgs they will cook everyday when they older, it’s so booooring!

Not everyone finds cooking boring. I don't, and my 4 year old loves to help with the bits she can do.

(I'm aware that as she gets older my willing helper may become less willing!)

AlmostTotallyFake · 07/08/2023 11:30

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 07/08/2023 06:47

Do you really take two hours to do your shopping? Do you live very remotely? My closest supermarket is a five-minute drive and we are usually in and out in half an hour. We often all go as we like to pick out what we fancy eating, and what treats we want, I actually enjoy it! We all enjoy cooking though, so don't find it depressing at all!

My closest 'big' supermarket is 20-30 minutes drive away depending on traffic!
We have a small local supermarket but it is ridiculously expensive so we only use it for bits or stuff we have forgotten.

ZigZaggingMum · 07/08/2023 12:26

Ah first world problems….

I think I’ll ask my sister (who has 4 kids) if she wants to come food shopping with me, dh and our kids - that will really get the Moaning Myrtles frothing at the mouth 🤣

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