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Do you dream about people who've died?

103 replies

trustingfrogs · 05/08/2023 14:52

This isn't a 'woo' thread, more just a way of seeing if others dream of people they've lost?

My mum died suddenly a couple of years ago. She was on her own when it happened - cardiac arrest - but thankfully no signs she had a struggle or knew anything about it.

In the early days I'd dream about her all the time. In my dreams, she was always happy but we could never communicate. She would often give me one of her famous mum hugs though and then I'd wake up feeling sad, missing her.

Last night I had a dream that I've had several times. I dreamt that she hadn't died at all but instead had been sectioned into a secure unit and was not allowed any visitors. In my dream I was ringing round, desperately trying to find someone who'd give me access but no one would let us see her. Not a particularly nice dream and I imagine just my brain's way of continuing to process it all.

Does anyone else have dreams about someone they've lost?

OP posts:
Iusedtobecarmen · 05/08/2023 22:43

I love this thread
I dream so vividly
However, my mother died approximately 18 years ago and I only dream of her now and again, strangely.

One dream I had, which I believe was a visitation dream, plays on my mind a lot.
I saw her outside my childhood home, looking as she did when i was at maybe primary school age. Dressed as she would have been at that time. Smiling , but not speaking.
Reassued and comforted me. Never had a dream like that since, but I always go back to it in my mind.
Another thing that sticks out is being in labour with youngest child and I felt like my auntie was guiding me through it. Lots of aunts,but closest to this one. Very surreal but maybe the pain and gas and air.

BMrs · 05/08/2023 22:47

I've had lots of dreams of my dearly departed Nan and years ago I dreamt of my late Aunt just the once.

I read that if you wake up very upset and emotional after the dream it could mean it was a visitation. If you wake up and just remember the dream but don't feel overly emotional it's just your way of remembering them.

This really triggered me as the first ever dream with my Nan I woke up absolutely sobbing in bed, my poor DH didn't know what was happening. The same with the dream of my aunt but every other dream has just been really nice to 'see' them even though I'm always aware in my dream that they've passed.

ichundich · 05/08/2023 22:48

I lost my cousin when I was 17, he was 34, more than 2 decades ago. He appears regularly in my dreams, much more often than other people close to me who have died, and sometimes I've not thought about for ages. So I tell myself that he "visits" me.

Iusedtobecarmen · 05/08/2023 22:50

@BMrs
I was so so upset after my mum dream sobbed my heart out. It was so real in a normal kinda way

BMrs · 05/08/2023 22:51

Standingongrass · 05/08/2023 16:08

Yes. They are still dead in the dream but I am still able to interact with them. After my closest friend died by suicide I had a dream that she phoned me and I was so, so delighted to realise that I could still speak to her after she died.

I had several dreams after my Dad died. We were estranged when he died and I have several dreams that kinda served as closure. In one I was he was walking away from me to get off a bus we had both been on. I was begging him to stop and to listen to what I had to say. He stopped just before he got off and turned and looked at me and then I woke up. But him even turning to listen was really significant to me (and something he would have never done in real life). Shortly after I had a dream where I said everything I wanted to to him. He didn't speak in that dream but there was just a sense that he had heard and accepted what I said and it was ok. I haven't dreamt about him since.

Oh @Standingongrass your comment has rally resonated with me.

I'm estranged from my Dad after years of trying to mend things (he was at fault but I didn't want to let our relationship go). I've tried everything I can and I know when he passes I won't feel guilt as there's nothing else I can do. But I often think the next time I hear about him will be because she's died and I hate that thought.

BMrs · 05/08/2023 22:52

ReginaPhalange12 · 05/08/2023 16:41

I have a few times, I always wake myself up crying but during the dream it brings me some comfort.
The night my DGD died I dreamt of him, he told me he had come to say goodbye ❤️

If you wake up upset it's a sign of a visitation I once read

Brightonhome · 05/08/2023 23:07

I had my first dream of my grandma last night. In my dream I was lying in bed, when she appeared and started tucking in the sheet at the foot of my bed. She was happy and said "I'm always here for a chat dear". I know it sounds daft, but I've been affected all day in a heart-warming, slightly teary way. She was a sweetheart who died aged 99, ten years ago. I really loved her. I'm crying now! Look what you made me do xxx

howaboutthistime · 05/08/2023 23:16

My dad died a long time ago and I do dream about him from time to time. One I remember well was, we were sitting on the floor inside by my front door, we hugged and dad asked if he could feel my face, he said it was soft then he just faded away. Sometimes if I'm feeling a bit sad I talk to my dad and ask him to come and see me in my dream, it doesn't always work but I do feel he is around, somewhere!

purplecorkheart · 05/08/2023 23:18

Once only. It was my Grandmother and it was us making Sunday lunch. It sounds strange but I kind of knew I was dreaming and tried not to wake up.

Belizenavidad · 05/08/2023 23:22

My partner died 10 years ago, and I used to dream that he had pretended to die and I would go absolutely mad at him, asking him how he could do that to us. Now I dream about him less but when I do its just like a normal conversation and it’s really nice to see him

medianewbie · 05/08/2023 23:36

.

TippingTree · 05/08/2023 23:41

I rarely dream of my dad but have a couple of times. One time in particular he hugged me and it felt so real, I woke up in tears. Other times he’s there but life is as it is now (my kids are their age, one wasn’t even born when he died), and he’s just there in the background. I wish I had more of those dreams.

cokezero26 · 05/08/2023 23:43

After my aunt died, whom I was very close with, I had very regular dreams about her for the first year or so. I would see her and think she was still with us.
After that first year the dreams slowed down a lot, I very rarely dream of her now. Don’t know if that’s just my brain having processed her passing now, or something else

ReginaPerrin · 05/08/2023 23:47

My mum features in my dreams an awful lot, even 15 years after her death. I’ve often wondered if it’s because I have a picture of her on my bedside table which I always kiss before I go to bed (daft I know, but I just feel the need to let her know I love her).

I rarely dream about other family members that have died.

echt · 06/08/2023 01:26

I’ve had dreams of my parents, invariably happy. Some very disturbing ones about solely my mum. Quite a lot of my DH, all a bit odd, getting progressively stranger and unsettling.

Barring the mum-only dreams, I’d give anything to be able to dream of them at will.

HRTQueen · 06/08/2023 02:33

Yes occasionally about my nanny and granddad

they both look very well like they did about 15 years before they died and they are just there no one is surprised to see them it’s very comforting and their love continues

the most vivid dream I had was when I was leaving my ex husband. I dreamt I was asleep in my childhood home and my granddad walked into my room and gently touched me on my head and said you will be fine. I know it was a dream but I needed that extra bit of strength. When I woke up I knew I would leave that day and I did

Nopeasinapasty · 06/08/2023 03:24

My darling dad died unexpectedly in the early hours of the morning while in hospital even though he was due to come home in a few days. None of us were able to be with him as it was so sudden. That night I dreamt I walked into the living room and he was sat in his armchair. He looked up at me and said "I'm alright, girl. You mustn't worry. I'm listening to music while I wait to go. I'm happy but I'll miss you ". I said "can I sit with you for a while?" And I sat at his feet, listening to music with him until I realised that he wasn't there anymore. I felt so incredibly at peace when I woke up.

The other dream, shortly after my mum died, about 10 months after dad, I was stood watching them sitting on a bench together, holding hands. I could feel the warmth of the sun and a warm breeze so vividly. I didn't approach them, just stood and watched. I woke up elated at seeing them together.

From time to time they both appear in my dreams and it always feels joyful to have seen them.

mháthairtalmhan · 06/08/2023 04:18

I have vivid dreams of my sister who died tragically young. In my dreams she is happy and healthy and we're hanging out or visiting old childhood places. I cherish these visits as I feel she's still here.
Not quite a dream but when at work, before it descends into chaos, I get the waft of my great grandmother's perfume. The teams groan when they here me say hello granny

FloofCloud · 06/08/2023 05:50

Yes, very regularly about my parents who died in 2010&2012. It's strange waking up as it feels like they're still alive sometimes when I'm semi awake still

Gettingbysomehow · 06/08/2023 06:31

Yes everyone I've loved inuding all of my csts have returned in dreams before moving g on. I've found it very comforting.

Mollyplop999 · 06/08/2023 06:49

I regularly dream of my Nana who I was very close to. She died 27 years ago. They are always everyday situations and I always feel happy when I wake up. Strangely I don't dream about other family members who have passed away.

TwinkleStarWhatAre · 06/08/2023 07:12

I lost my brother to suicide several years ago. I have had many dreams of him, but most commonly it is me so incredibly happy he is alive, but knowing what he is going to do and trying to talk him out of it. He’s calm and okay, but tells me he must do it.

I assume it’s my way of dealing and coming to terms with the grief. The dreams are not as often now as they used to be.

Roselilly36 · 06/08/2023 07:17

DH frequently has very vivid dreams about his late mum.

Santiagopink · 06/08/2023 07:29

My granny (no relation, lifelong friend of the family) died and I dreamt of her vaguely a few times. A few months later her daughter whom I wasn't close to died. Before I found out, I drew my granny was with me, her daughter in the background unable or not needing to communicate but she was there. My granny was youthful and reassuring me "I'm just so happy" really emphatically. I wasn't at all surprised when I learned a week or so later that her daughter had died, possibly that same night. I'd seen her and knew they were together.

caringcarer · 06/08/2023 08:07

LoisPrice · 05/08/2023 21:53

yes, I dreamt about my mum recently - thing is she hasn't aged in 25 years....

weird that now im nearly as old as she was when she died

My father died more recently and I have dreams where he appears

My Mum is always the same age in my dreams too. Sort of the age she was when I was a teen. Dad is always younger in my dreams about 40 so I'd have been about 10 or 11. I've been dreaming of them like this for years. My sister says she never dreams about them and is quite jealous about how often I see them in my dreams..

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