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Original poster

Do you dream about people who've died?

103 replies

trustingfrogs · 05/08/2023 14:52

This isn't a 'woo' thread, more just a way of seeing if others dream of people they've lost?

My mum died suddenly a couple of years ago. She was on her own when it happened - cardiac arrest - but thankfully no signs she had a struggle or knew anything about it.

In the early days I'd dream about her all the time. In my dreams, she was always happy but we could never communicate. She would often give me one of her famous mum hugs though and then I'd wake up feeling sad, missing her.

Last night I had a dream that I've had several times. I dreamt that she hadn't died at all but instead had been sectioned into a secure unit and was not allowed any visitors. In my dream I was ringing round, desperately trying to find someone who'd give me access but no one would let us see her. Not a particularly nice dream and I imagine just my brain's way of continuing to process it all.

Does anyone else have dreams about someone they've lost?

OP posts:
ASoapImpressionOfHisWifeWhichHeAte · 05/08/2023 20:10

Not me- although I have dreamt of dead relatives- but interesting to hear of these "can't communicate" dreams, as my dad often talks of a recurring dream he has about a beloved uncle that he lived with. The uncle died suddenly when my dad was 20 and ever since he's had a recurring dream that he's walking in a field and there's a high fence running down one side. He hears his uncle call out but can't see him. He jumps to look over the fence and looks through the gaps and knows he's there, but they can never properly speak to one another. Must be a very common bereavement dream, but fascinating to see the variations of it.

Thinking of everybody here who's lost a loved one.

ChristmasKraken · 05/08/2023 20:13

Not long after DM died I had a dream we were sitting on a bench together just chatting and talking about how we'd all be fine. I woke up feeling very peaceful.
I do dream about her still sometimes - often just "normal" dreams where she's still alive, and I wake up missing her so much.
I think it is just the brains way of processing it all.

CloseYourMouthLynn · 05/08/2023 20:15

I dream about my brother who died last year occasionally. The last dream was the first one where he wasn't dead or dying and instead was how he was before in our old family house. I asked him if he was coming with me and he said he had to stay. It was the first time I woke up happy dreaming about him rather than sad.

Cocteautriplet · 05/08/2023 20:17

I sometimes (a few times a year) dream about my late father who died in 2019 but not as much as I’d like. I’m always a kid again in the dreams. The only difference to this was a few weeks after he died when I dreamt he had been hiding in a cupboard. I discovered him and said ‘oh there you are dad!’. I was delighted to see him and devastated when I woke up.

mauveiscurious · 05/08/2023 20:51

My DM died in the last 12 months. She had been incapacitated for a few years.

A month after she died I dreamt that I was walking down a street in a city we both visited and she walked out of the crowd towards me smiling and as she was I awoke with a start.

I was so so happy to see her how she was, it was such a powerful experience

Greentree1 · 05/08/2023 20:58

I had one very vivid dream about my mum, she was sitting on the edge of my bed and we were chatting, suddenly she was snatched away and I felt a weight on my chest holding me down. It seemed like she shouldn't have been there and was taken away. Really strange and would have been typical of my mum to disobey rules to come to me.

mrssunshinexxx · 05/08/2023 20:59

Not often. But I have dreamt about my mum it's always the same just her in the coffin, heartbreaking really. Always wake up absolutely sobbing my heart out

Awrite · 05/08/2023 21:00

I dream about my brother 2 or 3 times a year.

In the early days it was more often. He was pretty skeletal when he died and I dreamt him like that for maybe 18 months. I remember how happy I was the first time I dreamt of him healthy.

It's always nice when he pops up in a dream

Giraffe1123 · 05/08/2023 21:02

Yes quite often involving my grandparents. I've had a couple of really vivid dreams where I felt like they were visiting me. It was really comforting not sad.

Ohmylovejune · 05/08/2023 21:04

Rarely, but sometimes.

Once soon after Mum died, I dreamt of her in an awful situation not related to her actual condition on death- that verged on a nightmare.

Last week I dreamt my husbands late uncle was alive and helping us out (as he always did). He's been gone probably 15 years now.

Fizbosshoes · 05/08/2023 21:05

Yes I've dreamed a few times of my mum and MIL, not so much my dad. I always feel really sad when I wake up but I sort of sense them throughout the day if that makes sense.

pinguuuu · 05/08/2023 21:07

My grandma died last week, I’ve dreamed about her every night since. It’s comforting in a way, knowing there’s still some connection to her going on in my brain

lookingforMolly · 05/08/2023 21:08

Yes I dream about my favourite Nan & Grandad & my old cat. In my dreams my Nan is often a mischievous ghost, and I'm saying to her 'why are you here, you've died' and she's always happy in my dreams which is good because she was a tormented person before she died.
My cat is always running away & disappearing in my dreams which was a secret fear of mine, even though she actually was pts from illness.

Parkermumma07 · 05/08/2023 21:10

I dreamt about my grandma who I was really close to ( she raised me) I dreamt that they had got it wrong and she hadn’t died and I was able to spend some extra time with her it was a lovely dream and really vivid.
i’’m sorry about your mum passing , I hope your dreams bring you a little bit of comfort

Pointypointything · 05/08/2023 21:12

I've dreamt of DF a few times (died 18 months ago). In one of the more vivid ones I was involved in a car accident and was dying. I saw him and he told me I had to go back. I was arguing, wanting to stay with him but he was very insistent. Was so sad when I woke.

Aplume · 05/08/2023 21:15

How funny that you should start this thread today OP. I dreamt of a very dear friend last night and in my dream she was as fabulous as she was in life. My dd was in my dream too and I was happy that she could see how fabulous my friend was. (My friend died when DD was four so she doesn't really remember her.)

coverp · 05/08/2023 21:21

I dream about my brother a few times a year. It was more in the early days but less now 15 years on. They are always vivid dreams which take me a minute to "come round" from in the morning and realise they aren't real. They still knock me for 6 and make me blue whenever they happen.

TwitTwoodiniEscapeOwlogist · 05/08/2023 21:28

My Mum appears in my dreams quite a lot. For some reason in my dreams she's nearly always grumpy about something. She was a bit grumpy in life, but not as bad as that.

DyslexicPoster · 05/08/2023 21:33

Yes lots of my dad. But my mum has recently died and not so much about her sadly. She had a very vivid dream once her mum died, asking her to go the heavan either her, so I'm a bit sad I get none.

Dreams about my dad are about him not really being dead. He was hiding, or pretending and is laughing about it.

Fordian · 05/08/2023 21:34

My parents, dad 13 years gone; mum 8 years gone, crop up in my dreams a lot!

It doesn't make be sad, I just ponder. I smile a bit at how 'dad' or 'mum' they are in my dream!

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 05/08/2023 21:49

My gran, dad & my fil regularly. I wake up with a smile thinking it’s real & then the ache when you realise it’s not.

Couple of weeks ago dreaming of my dad & fil coming for a short visit together (they got on really well) & then going off to play backgammon & drink whiskey. they were laughing & joking. I’d like to think I got a glimpse of their world.

LoisPrice · 05/08/2023 21:53

yes, I dreamt about my mum recently - thing is she hasn't aged in 25 years....

weird that now im nearly as old as she was when she died

My father died more recently and I have dreams where he appears

VividOne · 05/08/2023 21:59

Name changed for this as I’ve told several people in real life and don’t want other posts linking.

My brother died in a car accident when he was a teenager, so obviously it was sudden and I didn’t get to say bye.

A few weeks after he died I had a dream that I was in the bath when there was a knock at the front door, I opened it to find my brother standing there with a man I didn’t know standing further down the drive.

I was over the moon and kept asking him to come in, but he said he couldn’t come inside he just wanted to come and say bye and tell me that he loved me. He explained that the man was a guide to show him the ropes in the afterlife.

He gave me a hug and walked away and I was at the door shouting for him to come back as he and the guide walked away.

It still upsets me now, it was so vivid.

Yesabsolutely · 05/08/2023 22:02

I dream about my mum quite often . She never met my granddaughter and often they are together in the dream . Can never remember the details though.

Grawlix · 05/08/2023 22:04

I dream about my dad and mum sometimes. It’s coming up to three years since I lost my mum and I still miss her dreadfully. For a long time after she died I didn’t want to go to sleep because I was afraid I might dream of her; it was too painful.

Now the dreams are mostly OK. But sometimes they’re very sad and heart-wrenching and I tell myself I have to wake up.